Bitch! by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #278 | @MDWorld

August 9, 2012 Michael Davis 4 Comments

Bitch, are you out of your goddamn mind?

That’s exactly what I asked a woman who sent me a text telling me that they had put 2 & 2 together, and that 2 & 2 added up to me sleeping with a married woman. A woman she had never met and I had never spent anytime alone with…EVER.

The text was intended to ‘warn me’ to be ‘careful’ because if they could figure it out, then others would be able to figure it out also.

What was the 2 & 2 equation that promoted this realization?

Both this married woman and I were in New York once at the same time.

That’s it. That’s the proof. Well, that and she saw the married woman was taken with me while we were talking at my Comic Con party.

I’m Michael Davis, Master Of The Universe. Of course this woman was taken with me, I mean, duh.

All that MOTU stuff aside–what sort of person assumes they can put 2 & 2 together and then take it upon themselves to warn you about their findings that has NOTHING to do with them regardless? ?

Who the fuck does that? Who decides that they know something about YOUR life because they ‘feel’ it and then takes it upon themselves to tell you how to address something in YOUR life based upon what they feel?

Even if I was screwing this woman while her husband watched (in awe) what business is it of hers?

What the fuck kind of person decides they have the right to assume anything about how someone else leads their life?

The person who texted me said “I thought I was looking out for you.”

How the fuck do you look out for someone by imagining some crazy shit that is not only not true, but it has nothing to do with them in the first place?

Imagine this–someone calling you and saying; “Hey, I just put 2&2 together and realized you must be fucking Obama because you were both in Washington at the same time.”

That’s not a stretch either, that’s exactly what happened to me.

After I ripped this person a new asshole she apologized, but I could give a fuck about her apology. What she may not realize is that nothing she ever says to me again will I take seriously.

Nothing.

I liked this person. She was real cool, but that type of crazy shit I simply can’t deal with, and that’s what it was–crazy shit.

This is just crazy shit. I don’t care why she did what she did, this is crazy shit.

It’s CRAZY SHIT, and if you don’t think so, then you are fucking crazy also.

No one, and I mean no one, has the right to imagine something about your life, then take that CRAZY SHIT to another level by including you in that CRAZY SHIT.

Why do I even care? Because I have to assume if this person is telling me this crazy shit, who the fuck else is she telling about this crazy shit? I’ve learned the hard way–never under any circumstances allow someone else to define your life or brand.

Just let it go, you say, no one will believe it, you say?

Yeah–that will work. And just HOW many people in this country think Obama is a Muslim, born in Africa, and wants to kill grandma?

I rest my case.

Oh, one last thing, FUCK Donald Trump and his family.