Hey Jude, Is You Stupid? by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #279 | @MDWorld
August 17, 2012 Michael Davis 18 Comments
You may or may not have noticed for a while now I’ve not talked about politics, the GOP, Obama, or the like.
Yes, I do realize that I ended last weeks rant with “Fuck Donald Trump and his family,” but that had nothing to with politics. I just woke up that morning and said to myself “Self, fuck Donald Trump and his family.”
What can I say? I have issues.
For some time now I’ve been GOP-bashing free. I’m amazed, with the shit that’s being pulled by the GOP, that I’ve been able to remain silent, but I have and I must say I’m very proud of myself.
Why have I not been on any political rants in the middle of what is political rant season?
I’m trying to keep my blood pressure down.
Really, I’m not kidding.
So in my continuing quest not to die of a heart attack, I’m ranting less and writing more about stuff that does not make me crazy.
Well does not make me as crazy.
That brings me to a recurring, yet absent-from-my-rants for a few years topic: why the fuck can’t I listen to any music I want without somebody calling me a white boy?
Before anyone thinks I’m actually upset about this (because of my use of the ‘F’ word) fear not, this does not trouble me at all.
I actually think it’s funny that in this day and age–and with my carbon foot print as solidly African American as it is–that some people still think that if I deviate from ‘Black’ culture even a little bit, unless it’s Eminem, I’m no longer Black.
So I ask my friends both Black and white: is you stupid?
Can not a six-foot, 2-inch 200-pound Black man not listen to the soundtrack of ‘Hair’ or bop his head to Guns N’ Roses or perhaps even chill to a bit of Beethoven without being labeled a white boy?
I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I love Facebook. It’s true. I went kicking and screaming and I still only ‘friend’ people I know or know someone I know, but as much as it pains me to say, I’m a fan of Facebook.
Because my friends on Facebook can see what I’m reading or what music I’m listening to I get sly ass comments from time to time questioning my Blackness. It’s all in good fun but that’s because I have smart and cool friends and I get the joke.
But I’ve run into quite a few people in my lifetime that are truly amazed about my atypical (to them) choice in music and musicians.
Once a few years ago, I was on a first date with a white girl. She called me the ‘whitest Black man she’s ever met’ because I had a Queen CD playing in my car when I picked her up. I let that go–it was our first date and besides, I knew she would change her mind when she saw my dick.
Sorry–that was a bit ghetto and uncalled for.
It was my big black dick that changed her mind.
What?
Look, every so often I have to remember that I’ve been called ‘outrageous’ and I have to reinforce that. I also have to remember that some women may be reading this that are looking for a guy with a sense of humor…and a big black dick.
But, (Peter, why don’t I just write you a check?) I digress…
So what is it with some (black AND white) people who seem to think you are not Black unless you stick to stereotypes? I just don’t get that.
I don’t know anyone that says somebody is not white enough because they listen to hip-hop. If that were the case, there would be no white people left in the world because hip-hop is the world’s dominant music.
So I’ll ask again: what is with people in 2012 that still think you must never stray from your ‘roots,’ and if you do you are simply not Black enough.
I think (and I may be wrong, I was…once) that those people are simply closeted bigots. And not just bigots, but the worst kind of bigots–that’s the kind that don’t think they are bigots.
That to me is dangerous. Really, really dangerous.
Or am I wrong? Am I not Black enough because I love the Beatles, collect Barbie’s, have dated white girls and the very first album I brought with my own money was Captain Fantastic and The Brown Dirt Cowboy by Elton John.
Did I mention that my all time favorite movie is My Best Friend’s Wedding and 3 of my favorite songs are Hey Jude by the Beatles, One for my Baby By Frank Sinatra, and Someone Saved my Life Tonight by Elton John?
I also love Fuck The Police by NWA, and don’t believe the hype by Public Enemy just in case some black person out there thinks I’ve lost my fucking mind.
If all this makes me white then I guess I’m white…with a big Black dick.
Later my nigga’s…wait, I mean, see you at the country club.
Vinnie Bartilucci
August 17, 2012 - 7:23 am
In a nutshell, one side fears that it represents loss of your “culture”, and makes you a traitor, a wannabe, and a sellout.
The other side fears it makes you harder to pigeonhole, and as such, market to.
The same holds for male and female, foreign vs. American, and Star Trek vs. Battlestar Galactica fans.
MOTU
August 17, 2012 - 7:54 am
Vinnie,
As usual you make great points. The problem I have is this- people seem to think that stereotypes of Black people is what make you Black.
As an example-I like to dance and I am in fact a great dancer-depending on the song I dance a certain way. In other words that ‘look at me I’m cool’ Black man two step that Black guys do no matter WHAT the song is NOT the way I dance. I don’t get that-these guys do the same step at the same tempo if the song is ‘My Way’ or ‘Fuck The Police.’
I’m not that guy.
Soooooo-I often get-“you dance like a white boy” or some such shit. That makes no sense to me-first of all white boys can’t dance (Justin Timberlake is REALLY a light skinned
guy) and I can.
Secondly-that ‘look at how cool I am’ dance is NOT what the ladies like. They like the ‘that guy is so cool because he dances like no one else and is not afraid to have fun and i want him’ dance.
I’m THAT guy.
Jonathan (the other one)
August 17, 2012 - 8:56 am
Yeah, I think my wife can really feel you on that one. Her favorite author is William Shakespeare, with Jane Austen a close second. She was the person who introduced me to Type O Negative. She speaks with a clarity and a vocabulary informed by her education (two Associates’ Degrees; personal issues kept her from higher degrees, unlike her brother the other Dr. Davis).
And her skin tone makes Oprah Winfrey look like Ron Howard, but apparently she’s still “not black enough”. ????
MOTU
August 17, 2012 - 11:34 am
Jonathan,
I got a letter recently from a university asking me to lecture. They addressed me as Dr.Davis and I thought they had sent the letter to the wrong Davis. I’m a big fan of education but not of academia.
I’ve met too many elitists that think they are better or smarter than others because they have a few letters after their names.
The smartest person I’ve ever met went to Harvard and works as a security guard. That’s because he’s happy doing that, not because he can’t find work as a lawyer. I watched him DESTROY this PhD asshole at a party with his intellect. This after the PhD dick remarked on his career choice.
I say all this to tell you-that when YOU call me Doctor it means a lot dude and thanks but I’m not tripping on the title…unless you are a cute Asian girl that’s into that sort of stuff. 😉
David Quinn
August 17, 2012 - 11:42 am
I think you’ve recovered from CCI.
Fine form, friend.
And don’t worry, haters said the same thing to Hendrix, Gordy, Gaye and Clinton and they laid down music that’s still seeding the future.
Be authentic, even if it is outside expectations.
David Quinn
August 17, 2012 - 11:44 am
When was that picture taken? Before or after Piranha?
Just messing with you.
Jonathan (the other one)
August 17, 2012 - 12:16 pm
MOTU, I address you as “Dr. Davis” as a matter of respect. There are PhDs and MDs out there who don’t get the title from me, because they have demonstrated they don’t deserve my respect (Mehmet Oz, for instance, who has parlayed his expertise as a cardiac surgeon and his TV fame into a show where he makes all manner of uninformed pronouncements about medical and psychiatric matters on which he proves he has no knowledge).
My brother-in-law gets the title because he impresses me (and because he doesn’t pretend to know more than he does – he filled me in on his doctoral work on selective suppression of the immune system for transplant surgery, for instance, but he doesn’t mind being corrected on areas he isn’t an expert in, like theoretical astrophysics [one of my areas of interest] or comics). (Incidentally, as of a month ago, he gets to be “Dr. Michael Davis, Esq.”, having added a JD to his qualifications…)
You get “Dr. Davis” because you impress me as well. And no, I’m not a cute Asian girl – but I know one, does that count? 🙂
MOTU
August 17, 2012 - 1:13 pm
Jonathan,
Like I said in my post-coming fro you that means a lot. You know a cute Asian girl? Tell her Dr. Davis said ‘hi.’
Mike Gold
August 17, 2012 - 1:13 pm
Liking the Hair soundtrack does not make you white. Liking the Hair soundtrack doesn’t make WHITE folk white. Liking the Hair soundtrack AND Elton John doesn’t make you gay, either.
When it comes to music, there are as many universes as DC Comics has eight months after a reboot. There’s the Hair/Elton John universe. There’s the George Clinton universe. There’s the Sun Ra universe, which is like the Bizarro World with a good beat but you can’t dance to it. The point is, we get to have a cool rocketship to take to all these places. People who only go to one of ’em aren’t black or white, they’re boring.
I was listening to a half-dozen tracks by Pussy Riot this morning, for reasons that should be obvious today and definitely will be this Monday. Man, if you think punk rock can sound aggressive — try feminist punk rock IN RUSSIAN. Sorta like back-masking Sun Ra.
Jonathan — Um, were does she live?
MOTU
August 17, 2012 - 5:23 pm
Mike,
I think if you are born Black then that’s what you are. The same goes for any race of people. What choices you make in your life makes you an individual that happens to be Black, white, Latino, etc.
Music, like art is something that may or may not appeal to someone for whatever reason. I never and I mean NEVER in a million years ever thought I would listen to country music but low and behold I’m listening to some.
I have NO idea who they are or what kind of music Pussy Riot plays but the name of the band alone makes me a fan. That and the fact that Pussy Riot is the name of my penis.
MOTU
August 17, 2012 - 5:32 pm
Another thing Mike-don’t brother Jonathan about the Asian girls address. She just called to ask for mine.
No ladies, Mike and I are not sexist pigs we simply like to amuse ourselves with playful high school like banter regarding women sometimes.
The GOP hearings on women’s reproductive rights that featured NO women-THOSE motherfuckers are sexist pigs.
MOTU
August 17, 2012 - 5:41 pm
Pussy Riot-Russia-Jail…got it. Duh.
Vinnie Bartilucci
August 18, 2012 - 6:29 am
“I think if you are born Black then that’s what you are.”
For some that’s meant a statement of fact, for others, that’s a sentence.
The problem is that, in this country at least, “black” is a very specific definition of personality, behavior, and if female, ability to swivel one’s head, as opposed to merely a description of the color of one’s skin. And when we see someone NOT acting as we “expect”, it’s seen as odd, like a Chinese person with a southern accent. It’s why “non-black” characters on TV are usually seen as comedic characters. They’ll show a black person speak well and say they don’t like watermelon, and cue the canned laughter.
I will never grasp how the Cosby Sow was seen as a negative because it showed black people “unrealistically”. cause of course the well-meaning busybodies KNEW it was ridiculous that a black person could be a lawyer or am ob-gyn, and live in a nice house. Don’t want to start giving them ideas.
And then there’s the fear (desire?) that when something unpleasant happens, they’re gonna revert to type and “go black”, like the way they act, speak and live is a conscious affectation that will drop away once someone waves a bucket of chicken under their nose. and it’s usually met with a roll of the eyes and a muttered “oh, HERE we go…”
MOTU
August 20, 2012 - 10:54 am
Vinnie,
Everyone knows that no Black people live like the Cosby’s.We all live like The Evans Family in ‘Good Times.’
Mike Gold
August 20, 2012 - 1:32 pm
MOTU, they tore those projects down. Don’t know where the Evans family is living these days.
Jeremiah Avery
August 24, 2012 - 6:01 am
Considering my mother played records (yes, I’m old enough to remember those) from various Motown singers when I was growing up and bought me “Bill Cosby: Himself” as a birthday present one year and yet I’m a few shades short of albino, it is annoying when people are quick to go “how can you like that?” when I or anyone enjoys something that they don’t find culturally acceptable.
Likewise, it’s annoying when some are quick to think that based on how I look I must have “had it easy” growing up. Riiiight! Buying bread and milk with food stamps is oh so glamorous.
Mike Gold
August 24, 2012 - 7:38 am
Yeah, well, Motown had nothing on Stax/Volt or the Atlantic R&B scene.
So there.
Brandon H.
August 26, 2012 - 5:11 am
Unfortunately, individuals repeatedly identify themselves with transient characteristics, and due to psychological and sometimes powerful social influences they draw a boundary around this ‘created’ group, which is like an organism itself. Then people misapply labels, like a race/job/gender, which are not accurate fits, nor could they ever be, for a full bibliography of words cannot replace knowing someone, either directly, or by seeking understanding through their own expressions.
Ultimately, the source for people’s judgement in the manner you describe likely has a relationship to group identity (see “social identity theory”). People desire to belong to groups, and they want to identify others within their group. It has long-lasting history in the development of human (and animal) social structure, and has been useful for survival. Unfortunately, our clever undisciplined minds are much too quick to apply trigger words and phrases, pressing buttons and spouting out inaccurately-labeled concepts like “so-and-so has lost their roots”. Indeed, these are rarely the true roots of a dignified human, but shallow cultural phenomena, reaching neither far back, nor far into the future. Indeed, I believe it is more likely the case that a tree whose visible branches reach far and wide, to other lands and cultures and people(s), such a tree is more likely the one with a sturdy foundation, and roots which have discovered a more nourishing source.