The NRA Doesn’t Like Sara Lee, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #313 | @MDWorld

February 11, 2013 Mike Gold 4 Comments

Finally, I understand why the National Rifle Association is so vehemently opposed to background checks on potential gun buyers.

The NRA has a hit list – what, back in the Nixon days, we called an enemies list. This is not a surprise, and it is unfair to say that the purpose of such a list is to encourage those within its thrall to take up arms against these individuals and institutions. Maybe they’re just supposed to send ‘em pizza in the middle of the night. Many of those listed by the NRA would fall under Captain Louis Renault’s usual suspects, but there are a few that are head-scratchers. Mind you, this list is almost six months old so several are now dead. I was happily surprised that some on this list are, indeed, still alive.

Among the individuals and institutions that caught my eye: A & M Records, AARP, the American Medical Association, the American Bar Association, Louis Anderson, Drew Barrymore, Kevin Bacon, Lauren Bacall, Richard Belzer, Tony Bennett, Jon Bon Jovi, James Brooks, Mel Brooks, Steve Buscemi, David Canary, Carter Hawley Hale Stores, the Christian Science Monitor, Sean Connery, Pam Dawber, Danny DeVito, Richard Donner, Sandy Duncan, Michael Eisner, the Gray Panthers, Hallmark Cards, Mark Harmon, Kansas City Chiefs, Kansas City Royals, Lainie Kazan, and Kenneth Cole.

Continuing: C. Everett Koop, the League of Women Voters, Denis Leary, Gerald M. Levin, Levi Strauss & Co., Barry Manilow, John McEnroe, Motorcycle Cruiser Magazine, Jack Nicholson, Leonard Nimoy, Jane Pauley, Colin Quinn, Debbie Reynolds, Geraldo Rivera, Tim Roth, Renee Russo, Sara Lee Corporation, Southland Corporation, Sprint Corp, St. Louis Rams, Sylvester Stallone, Harry Dean Stanton, Time Warner Inc., United Methodist Church, United States Catholic Conference, USA Today, Dick Van Dyke, Andy Williams, Henry Winkler, YWCA of the U.S.A., and Ahmet, Diva, Dweezil, and Gail Zappa.

Louis Anderson? Really?

Just about all the major media outlets also are on the list – not Fox “News,” but then again I said “major.” According to the list, one of the ways a media outlet could get on the list is to refuse an NRA commercial, no matter how incorrect, how distorted, and/or how untruthful that spot may be.

Reading this list made me understand the NRA’s obstinacy regarding background checks to weed out those too dangerous to be allowed to possess a weapon: they are afraid they will flunk the test.

With good reason.

I appreciate the fact that the majority of the NRA’s membership are not paranoid, right-wing lunatics and most, in fact, are in favor of background checks and opposed to assault-style weapons and massive ammo clips. But after all the dog and pony shows the NRA has put on these past several weeks, I think it is time for these sane people to quit the organization and organize one that accurately reflects their views. After all, it is legitimate to ask why so many people would maintain membership in a policy-influencing organization that does not reflect their views.

Or… perhaps… the NRA does, indeed, reflect the views of their membership. If this is the case, then I’m going to be forced to reconsider my view on gun ownership.

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Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week – check the website above for times. Gold also joins MWD’s Marc Alan Fishman, Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.