Payback’s A Bitch – And So Is Jan Brewer, by Mike Gold Brainiac On Banjo #316

March 4, 2013 Mike Gold 9 Comments

When is the tsunami of GOP lies going to subside?

We’ve got the “Obama wasn’t born in America” thing. We’ve got the “Obama is a Muslim” thing. We’ve got the “Obama is a Communist” thing. We’ve got the “Obama faked his way into Harvard” thing. We’ve got the “Obama sides with the terrorists” thing. We’ve got the “Obama has Judeophobia” thing. We’ve got the “Obama was a regular at Chicago gay bars and bathhouses” thing. We’ve got the “Obama is a traitor to America” thing.

Now we’ve got the “Obama is using the sequester as an excuse to release a horde of dangerous illegal aliens” thing.

You might recall Arizona Governor Jan Brewer as the hobnailed totalitarian who made up the stories about the Mexican threat and the headless drug dealers found in the desert to give her Gestapo the right to stop anybody they want and demand to see their papers, on threat of incarceration and possible deportation. You might recall her as the classless, clueless piece of shit who shoved her finger in the President’s face to score a fundable photo op. You might recall her as the poster girl for right wing jerk-offs.

According to Brewer, the Department of Homeland Security’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (ICE) released this dangerous petulance of humanity as payback for her courageous use of armed might to crack down on undocumented immigrants – and anybody who, in the paranoid fantasies of her troopers, might possibly look like an undocumented immigrant. You know, like President Obama, who has no documentation covering his move from Kenya to America.

Brewer told (wait for it) Fox News Friday “I personally believe it could be payback,” Brewer said. “It could be to punish Arizona, to make them squirm. They’re pushing back on what we’re pushing on because we want our border secure and we’re strong about it.”

There are a couple of difficulties surrounding her hysteria.

Like every other department, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency’s budget was cut. That means they can’t afford to prosecute some of people in their system. The same thing is going to happen with weed busts on the regional level.

This response to the sequester was made by ICE independent of both the White House and the Department of Homeland Security, whose budget was cut five percent. ICE had a 34,000 detainee capacity. You want to cut the budget across the board? Your talking layoffs and your talking reduced services. It’s going to take you longer to get your passport, too. And longer to cross the boarder back from Canada.

The charge that the detainees “are people that have a criminal background to begin with” is hogwash. The term was used to promote the Right’s stock-in-trade: mindless paranoia. A high proportion of detainees have absolutely no arrest record whatsoever. According to ICE, their “priority for detention remains on serious criminal offenders and other individuals who pose a significant threat to public safety.”

So, when is the tsunami of GOP lies going to subside? The day Obama is replaced by an old white Republican guy, or the day one of their handmaidens puts a bullet between his eyes. There’s a lot of gun-totin’ crazies out there, and most of them are Republicans.

No wonder the Right is so hysterically opposed to background checks of gun buyers. As they have said repeatedly, they want their guns to protect themselves from the government.

I get that. If dangerous lying assholes like Jan Brewer and her Republican comrades ever take over the government, I’d want a gun too.

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Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week – check the website above for times. Gold also joins MDW’s Marc Alan Fishman, Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.