The NRA and Sheriff Bart, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #325 | @MDWorld

May 6, 2013 Mike Gold 3 Comments

According to a poll taken last week by CBS/New York Times – well past the “heat of the moment” generated from the Newtown Massacre – 88% of the American public are in favor of sanctions that would limit the gun-buying capabilities of terrorists, criminals, and the insane.

88% of the American people. That’s higher than, say, “should we continue to prevent starving grandmothers from receiving free life-saving health care?” Higher than “do you think we landed on the moon?” or “did the holocaust really happen?” Higher than “where do you want to go for lunch?”

Last week a gun owner armed with a 40-calliber semi-automatic pistol, a loaded AR-15 rifle and a Gideon Bible shot up the Houston Texas airport, killing himself and an innocent. Immediately thereafter, the National Rifle Association held a big old party in that very same town that attracted 80,000 gun nuts for a celebration of their anti-American victory in preventing these sanctions from becoming law.

If you asked me to name five people who are too dangerous to own guns, I would probably say something like Lee Harvey Oswald, Timothy McVeigh, Ted Bundy, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, and NRA Chief Executive Officer Wayne LaPierre. Only one of this evil gaggle remains alive. When it comes to death counts, this survivor has responsibility for the largest.

Wayne sure knows how to rouse the rabble. “How many Bostonians wished they had a gun two weeks ago?” he asked his conventioneers. Evidently, Wayne believes the Boston death count wasn’t high enough.

LaPierre excels at promoting to the ignorance of his membership. They are convinced these sanctions are in violation of the Second Amendment, proving these folks either do not know how to read or have a reading comprehension testing of an in-bred preschooler. They believe that the government is out to confiscate their guns, as if such a thing was a logistical possibility, as if our military would follow such an order.

According to Fairleigh Dickinson University’s PublicMind, 44% of Republicans, 18% of Democrats and 27% of independents responded in agreement with the concept that an armed revolution against the American government might be needed in the next few years. They believe that such an insurrection could be accomplished by paranoid lunatics taking their guns and shooting down drones and shooting up tanks.

“You know,” as The Waco Kid said to Sheriff Bart, “morons.”

Did you know that in 1792 the very same people who wrote the Second Amendment also established a national gun registry?

The Ridiculous Right loves to wrap themselves in the cape of Americanism. They do not know what it is to be an American. They cherry-pick our history and our laws, they misinterpret in order to meet the needs of their paranoid fantasies, and they outright lie. They are anti-egalitarian, anti-democracy, and pro-death. Their interpretation of “Ubi Est Mia” embraces what the old lady told Sheriff Bart: “up yours, nigger.”

The Right is, in thought and in deed, anti-American. They do not deserve unfettered access to guns, and they certainly can not be trusted with them.

Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week – check the website above for times. Gold also joins MDW’s Marc Alan Fishman, Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.