“Forever Evil #1” by Marc Alan Fishman – Snarky Synopsis | @MDWorld

September 15, 2013 Marc Fishman 0 Comments

Written by Geoff Johns, Art by David Finch, Richard Friend, and Sonia Oback

A little under a decade ago, I would see Geoff Johns’ name on the rack, and I’d perk up like my cat when a can of tuna is opened. And much like my fine feline friend, I would choke down whatever was in that can with barely any interest in savoring my catch of the day. Why? Because every time that can was placed before me it was delicious. And over time, you could replace my tuna with chum, and frankly I may not even notice until finally I stopped to clean my teeth. Following my metaphor? If not, allow me to be as blunt as “Forever Evil #1” is: Geoff Johns has finally reached a point where I can no longer trust that he is the wunderkind he used to be. In fact nowadays he’s only about as good as a can of chum. Harsh? Perhaps, but you see fair reader… I am snarky, and this world is mine.

That’s the thought Geoff uses throughout the issue, so much so, that frankly I’m pretty certain he had it installed as a macro during his scriptwriting phase. “Forever Evil” is the latest in DC’s ‘Villains Month’ epic super-event. Perhaps a tie-in to all the villain-centric takeovers for the next 30 days or so… this operates basically as the setup. And what a setup it is… taken from any choice number of better-done Crime Syndicate stories.

To that point, here is the entire plot of the issue… I suggest you get comfy before I dive in. Seriously. A nice cushy chair where your butt won’t fall asleep after surveying a synopsis so very long, there’d be simply no way you’d not suffer from atrophy. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Here goes. Ahem:

The Crime Syndicate show up. They open up all the prisons. They crash the JLA satellite. They declare the world is theirs. The end.

Roughly 30 pages to convey at most 5 pages of actual plot. The rest of the bloated issue concerns schizophrenic jumps between cadres of ne’er-do-wells, and their confusion at the plot afoot. Are the Crime Syndicate to be trusted? Should they simply not care, and enjoy the anarchy while it lasts? Should they band together, and hide in caves until the Justice League inevitably saves the day? If I were to be a betting man, I’d place my money on Lex Luthor saving that day. Why? Because Johns telegraphs it better than Western Union (zing!).

The opening scene sets the tone for the event (and I assume much of the impending series), and taken at face value represents a continuing trend for DC that makes it harder and harder to find reason to read. Lex and Thomas Kord share a helicopter ride business meeting wherein Luthor chews the scenery like Matter Eater Lad chews… scenery. The dialogue is just atrocious, and worse than that, it’s within a POV I used to applaud Johns for. His “Flash #182” still stands as perhaps the single best villain-centric issue ever written in modern comics. From the pen that gave us a believably sympathetic Leonard Snart, comes a Lex Luthor that couldn’t hold Lenny’s parka. This simply shouldn’t be. Luthor threatens to destroy Kord over denial of a business deal. No smooth talking. No intelligence. Just simple, blunt, eeeeeeeevil dialogue devoid of subtext. Even the Justice League cartoon knew that Luthor could say plenty without saying anything at all. Perhaps Johns needs a copy of the DVDs.

How about the pretty pictures, though? Finch and company deliver a 90s throwback like all y’all were foaming at the mouth for. David’s love of same-facing his way through sharp-lined spandex-clad evil-doers is prevalent. He pours plenty of details into his panels. His love of debris and broken glass leads to wonderfully dense pages. Emotions are high, and everyone has pupils. Odd statement, but it stands to be said since Finch ensures everyone’s eyes are wide open. Inks by Richard Friend take a cue from all Finch-work; every page is bathed in blacks. Colors are muted, and nuanced. If ever there were a “Finch-House-Style”, this book is a step-by-step in monotony. Save for some truly cool-looking costumes, everything here is as it should be. Slick. Evil. Black. Boring.

The basic principle here is this: Geoff Johns is a much better writer than what he presents in this cop-out for a comic. The issue is vapid, and only serves to set up an event that is devoid of depth. It’s an excuse for a gimmick, and nothing more… at this point. With every villain turned loose throughout the New52, and no heroes in sight, I suppose we’re supposed to look at this as a mystery. Instead, I see it as means to an end. Sales spike because everyone will check in on their favorite villains. Some bad things will happen, and we’ll end up with plenty of new threads to explore in all the various titles in the coming months.

Even typing that last sentence was a chore. Is this how it must always be? The Big Two dust off the tropes in order to force mini-series and crossovers, so they can editorially direct the next 6 months of titles until the next big event. No one pushes the boundaries of plot, or nuance. Depth is decimated in lieu of new team combinations, or super maguffins. The indies continue to rise, while the Mouse and Warners grow fat on movie money. In their wake, their comics continue only to keep their hold on their respective licenses. As much as I didn’t want get on this particular rant again here in my reviews… it’s incredibly hard to do so, when 30 pages gleans a single thought.

Was I too hard on Geoff? Certainly the 14 year old boys powering their way through this issue will take offense to my drone of snark. But I am 30 years old, and love cartoons. I know evil fun when it’s done well. Secret Six did it in spades. Here, the once brilliant writer simply phones in a performance good enough only for community theater. Sorry Geoff, the world may be the Crime Syndicates… but the review is mine; “Forever Evil” isn’t evil… it’s apathetic.