Murdering America, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #343 | @MDWorld

September 30, 2013 Mike Gold 18 Comments

One of the more enjoyable periods of childraising is when your precious li’l darling starts throwing temper tantrums when it doesn’t get its way. However, being an adult who actually made it through childhood, you know what happens when the brat threatens to hold its breath until it turns blue.

The Republicans do not know this, and they’re perfectly willing to hold their collective breath until they turn us red. Like petulant and insufferable children, most Republicans are not good at math and they don’t grasp the concept of democracy. This is why they are doomed to fail. The problem is, they want to bring the nation down with it.

Those of us who occasionally act like adults can remember what happened eleven months ago. That’s the last time we had us a national election. Here are two of the results of that election:

1) Barack Obama ran on his platform, a platform that was antithetical to the New Republican Objectivists. Foremost of these planks was something the Republicans called “Obamacare” – something that the Republicans will regret calling Obamacare before the 2016 national elections come around.

2) The Republicans had a real shot at winning the Senate. But they chose as their candidates childish, clattering Objectivists who were so loony they lost. People might vote for a loony Objectivist in a House election if (and this is quite likely) the heavily gerrymandered district contains a majority of loony Objectivists and in-grown brats who find Objectivism attractive. But on a statewide basis, this is a complete non-starter.

The majority of Americans have shown repeatedly that they are not prepared to vote into office a lunatic, an extremist, and certainly not a lunatic extremist. The Republicans are doomed because only a lunatic extremist can win the Republican nomination, thereby rendering the candidate useless in a Senatorial or Presidential election.

Despite losing the 2012 election, despite losing the Congressional vote, despite the Supreme Court’s ruling, and despite the 41 times they’ve tried to kill Obamacare since it became law, the Republicans still think they speak for the people when they say the people don’t want Obamacare. What they’re afraid of is, once they get past the plethora of Republican lies and distortions (hiya, Ted Cruz!), they’ll actually like Obamacare.

You know, just like the way Social Security and, later, Medicare went down. And those same loony Republicans march around with signs that say “keep the government’s hands off my Medicare!”

So now they have the opportunity to hold this nation hostage by not ratifying the an increase in the debt ceiling unless their demands are met: a one-year delay of Obamacare, an overhaul the tax code to meet Objectivist fantasies, construction of the useless and dangerous Keystone XL pipeline, a halt on new EPA regulations regarding greenhouse gasses, 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10 lords-a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids-a-milking, seven swans-a-swimming, six geese-a-laying, five gold rings, four colly birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Here’s some news for our petulant children who are so willing to increase our debt service costs by hundreds of billions of dollars while undermining our military and screwing their own electorate out of Medicare and Social Security: tomorrow morning, Obamacare goes into effect.

Before we bring out the chorus of Republicans who persist in offering the dishonest rejoinder “But the Democrats do it too,” I’d like to tell you a story about when my daughter was maybe ten years younger. When her New York Mets would defeat my Chicago Cubs, she would do a cute little victory dance. My response was: “Wait. You’re celebrating the Mets beating the Cubs? That’s some sort of victory?” Last week, former Republican presidential candidate John McCain said much the same thing to those Republicans of the new totalitarian strain.

Yes, folks, it has come to this. In today’s Republican Party, John McCain has become the voice of sanity.

Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week – check the website above for times and on-demand streaming information. Gold also joins MDW’s Marc Alan Fishman, Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.