Ted Cruz, Congratulations You Selfish Bastard, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #327 | @MDWorld

October 11, 2013 Michael Davis 3 Comments

Ted Cruz.

Congratulations!

Your hard-core stance in shutting down the government over Obamacare is rocketing your Wile E. Coyote-looking ass to megastar status among the Tea Party!

Way to go Tedster!

Damn, there hasn’t been a ‘Ted” since Ted Baxter, who has been in a position of power and been as stupid as you.

I’m not just calling you stupid because I like calling you stupid  (I do) – I’m calling you stupid because you are…

STUPID. I could list many reasons concerning why I call you stupid, but I’ll stick with ONE.

Your example of why you were opposing Obama Care was Green Eggs & Ham??

I am Sam.

I am Sam.

Sam I am.

That Sam-I-am.

That Sam-I-am!

I do not like

that Sam-I-am.

Do you like

green eggs and ham?

I do not like them,

Sam-I-am.

I do not like

green eggs and ham.

Would you like them

Here or there?

I would not like them

here or there.

I would not like them

anywhere.

I do not like

green eggs and ham.

I do not like them,

Sam-I-am.

Would you like them

in a house?

Would you like them

with a mouse?

I do not like them

in a house.

I do not like them

with a mouse.

I do not like them

here or there.

I do not like them

anywhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you eat them

in a box?

Would you eat them

with a fox?

Not in a box.

Not with a fox.

Not in a house.

Not with a mouse.

I would not eat them here or there.

I would not eat them anywhere.

I would not eat green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?

in a car?

Eat them! Eat them!

Here they are.

I would not ,

could not,

in a car

You may like them.

You will see.

You may like them

in a tree?

I would not, could not in a tree.

Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.

I do not like them with a fox.

I do not like them in a house.

I do mot like them with a mouse.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train! A train!

A train! A train!

Could you, would you

on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!

I would not, could not, in a box.

I could not, would not, with a fox.

I will not eat them with a mouse.

I will not eat them in a house.

I will not eat them here or there.

I will not eat them anywhere.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Say!

In the dark?

Here in the dark!

Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,

in the dark.

Would you, could you,

in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.

Not in the dark. Not on a train,

Not in a car, Not in a tree.

I do not like them, Sam, you see.

Not in a house. Not in a box.

Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.

I will not eat them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like

green eggs and ham?

I do not

like them,

Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,

with a goat?

I would not,

could not.

with a goat!

Would you, could you,

on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.

I will not, will not, with a goat.

I will not eat them in the rain.

I will not eat them on a train.

Not in the dark! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! You let me be!

I do not like them in a box.

I do not like them with a fox.

I will not eat them in a house.

I do not like them with a mouse.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like

green eggs

and ham!

I do not like them,

Sam-I-am.

You do not like them.

SO you say.

Try them! Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may I say.

Sam!

If you will let me be,

I will try them.

You will see.

Say!

I like green eggs and ham!

I do!! I like them, Sam-I-am!

And I would eat them in a boat!

And I would eat them with a goat…

And I will eat them in the rain.

And in the dark. And on a train.

And in a car. And in a tree.

They are so good so good you see!

So I will eat them in a box.

And I will eat them with a fox.

And I will eat them in a house.

And I will eat them with a mouse.

And I will eat them here and there.

Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!

I do so like

green eggs and ham!

Thank you!

Thank you,

Sam-I-am!

ASSHOLE – after trying green eggs and ham, the naysayer LOVED it.

Hey, I have an idea – why don’t you use the story of Einstein’s mother being pro-choice when talking about your opposition to abortion.

Obama beat you, the Tea Party, and the GOP…AGAIN. Now there is talk about the Tea Party seceding from the Republican Party and forming a third political party.

Oh, there is much joy in Cruz land over this, I’m certain.

Like I said earlier, I’m sure will you love that. That will make you the KING of the Tea Party, and you will be assured of winning the Tea Party nomination for president.

You will face off against Gov. Krispy Kream…err, I mean Gov. Chris Christie (my bad…heh), thus spitting the conservative vote. Or, to put it another way…

President Hillary Clinton.

By the way, I’m sure no one told you this, but that 21-hour filibuster you waged the other week – it wasn’t real, just like your chances of become President.