Bailey, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #331 | @MDWorld

November 8, 2013 Michael Davis 7 Comments

I met Bailey years ago, but it seems like yesterday.

Bailey was the good friend and companion of my boy Mike Stradford. Bailey is a dog, but he was much more than a pet.

Bailey was just as much a member of Mike’s family as I am a friend of Mike’s.

I’ve often said that Mike is the coolest guy I know, and as far as dogs go, Bailey was pretty darn cool also.

All my life I’ve had dogs.

The first was a mutt I tried to sneak into my house without my mother knowing about it. I was 12 and we lived in the projects. I named the dog “Swifty” after a dog in a Superboy comic book story.

I thought I was being really clever — when someone knocked at the door and Swifty barked, I tried to cover up his barking by turning up the television, radio, or record player. When none of those were on, I’d bark more loudly than Swifty.

Yeah. I’d bark.

I told my mother I was barking so people thought we had a dog.

I actually barked.

I thought I was so smart.

Swifty was smart. Every morning I let him out, and every afternoon he was waiting for me when I returned from school. This was hours before my mother returned home from one of her two jobs, so I was able to sneak Swifty back into the apartment.

Like I said, I thought I was so smart. Clearly, I wasn’t.

I realized I wasn’t at all smart when my mother brought home a bag of Gravy Train.

Turns out that one Saturday when I assumed my mother was at work she came into my room while I was sleeping. There was Swifty laying on my bed. When my mom went to approach, he let out a low growl.

That’s all she needed to see: this mutt protecting her son, and she was sold.

She and Swift became the best of friends, and from that moment on he was a member of our family. I think from the second Bailey arrived, he was a member of Mike’s family, and as such a member of Mike’s extended family. I remember one night when Mike had some friends over. Those friends included myself, Denys Cowan, and Whitney Farmer.

We were watching something cool that only Mike had access to, and Whitney decided to sit and cuddle with Bailey. Bailey, a pit bull, could bite Whitney in half with less than half a thought, but he was a gentle giant if Mike introduced you. However, I pity the fool who would have tried to break into Mike’s home.

Anywho — Whitney decided she wanted to cuddle next to Bailey. Whitney LOVES dogs. She loves dogs so much, she once spent upwards of $5000.00 on an operation to save her dog George. That’s upwards of 5 G’s, and the outcome was 50/50 at best.

Before the operation she asked my opinion:

“The operation is going to cost at least five thousand dollars. What do you think?”

“Get another dog.”

I said that knowing without a doubt that Whitney would have written a check for 3 times that much without blinking. I was just trying to make my dear friend laugh.

Anywho again, Whitney decided to cuddle with Bailey, even after Mike warned her:

“Bailey has gas. You may not want to sit so close.”

“Bailey and I are old friends. I’m sure it will be fine.”

It wasn’t.

Whitney sat with Bailey’s head firmly snuggled in her lap. All was right in the world…until the B bomb went off. The “B” bomb being Bailey’s release of what may have been the worst dog fart in the history of dog farts.

Whitney was at ground zero.

It was bad. Really bad. Whitney got up and left Bailey alone until the danger passed. But not too long afterwards, Bailey was back in Whitney’s lap.

She couldn’t help it. None of us could. There was never any talk of putting Bailey out of the room or any such measures. You don’t do that to family, and Bailey was family.

Bailey passed yesterday. He lived a pretty long life for a dog — thirteen years in human years. That’s 91 in dog years.

That’s a pretty long life.

But for a friend, it’s not long enough.