The New York Tits, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #348 | @MDWorld

November 4, 2013 Mike Gold 1 Comment

Maybe the New York State tourism bureau is missing a bet.

New York is one of the few places in America – perhaps the only such state – where men can walk around without a shirt… and women can as well. This was a hard-fought battle: in 1992 the city was sued by female protesters who said that, under the equal protection under the law provisions, toplessness is not the sole domain of those well-endowed with the Y chromosome. In People v. Santorelli, a state court in Rochester held that the 1967 state law banning “that portion of the breast which is below the top of the areola” from public display discriminates against women without supporting any important government interest. The court also pointed out that the purpose of the law at the time was to ban topless bars, an effort that ultimately was in vain.

However, that did not stop the New York City police from harassing and arresting women who chose to exercise their legal right to go topless just as men do. Professional photographer Holly Van Voast (that’s not her in the picture above) decided to do something about it. In July of last year, Van Voast was topless and celebrating the 20th anniversary of People v. Santorelli. And she was arrested for exercising her right.

This was not unique. Overall, she was arrested for her completely lawful behavior ten times. She was incarcerated several times for psychological observation, and one such imprisonment lasted six days. The police thought she was not of “sound mind and body.”

Yes, sometimes jokes do write themselves. But the next time you’re held at the New York Presbyterian Hospital loony bin against your will for six days because you exercised your one of your legal rights, lets see if you exit laughing.

So Van Voast did the American thing. She sued the city, the police department, its commissioner and dozens of police officers. She accused them of unlawful imprisonment, negligent hiring, and violating her constitutional rights. You’d think she’d win, right? The law is the law.

And… this time you would be right. She and her lawyer were awarded $77,250.00.

It is vital for all Americans to understand that our freedoms, our rights, do not exist if we cannot exercise them. They have to be practiced in day-to-day life; simply being on the books is not enough.

Remember that the next time you come up against one of the thousands of blue laws.

And stop snickering.

Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com and on iNetRadio, www.iNetRadio.com as part of “Hit Oldies” every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week – check www.getthepointradio.com above for times and on-demand streaming information. Gold also joins MDW’s Marc Alan Fishman, Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.