Get Your Ya-Yas Out, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

March 8, 2014 Martha Thomases 7 Comments

This column is being published on International Women’s Day, a holiday for which I could find no greeting cards.  Following hot on the heels of Black History Month, it seems that it is the dreary winter days that are devoted to celebrating some of the people who are not white men.

Still, for those of us who enjoy the study of feminist history (and,in fact, the study of all kinds of history, including but not limited to that of white men), this is a time of celebration about what we’ve accomplished.

There are record numbers of women in all levels of government.  Wendy Davis is running for Governor of Texas.  A woman is CEO of General Motors.  Women get paid to tell (and even write!) jokes.  Women work.  Women lead.  Women balance careers (or even “just” jobs) and children, partners, community work, and friendships.

And now, as the icing on the cake, Barbie is on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue.  Because what better way to honor women than to celebrate a toy with an impossible anatomy.  I mean, I don’t look like Brooklyn Decker either, she’s a real human being, albeit genetically blessed (and probably extremely motivated and self-disciplined to maintain that body).

As if that weren’t enough, Barbie “wrote” an ad that appeared in the New York Times, as well as on this site. in which “she” claimed her actions were a triumph for women everywhere, that she was an aspirational model for girls, and that those who agreed with her should say so on social media and use the hashtag #unapologetic.  She said, “Today, truly anything is possible for a girl. Let us place no limitations on her dreams, and that includes being girly if she likes. It’s easy to say the culprit is the color pink or the existence of makeup. That’s easy, and predictable. Neither prevents girls from excelling in their own fashion. Let her grow up not judged by how she dresses, even if it’s in heels; not dismissed for how she looks, even if she’s pretty. Pink isn’t the problem. “Barbie® dolls’”aren’t the problem. Models choosing to pose in a bikini aren’t the problem. The assumption that women of any age should only be part of who they are in order to succeed is the problem.”

Did you see what she did there?  She said that make-up and heels and pink are “not the problem.”  In so doing, she makes it sound as if it is women who wear make-up and heels and  pink who are somehow being harassed by all-powerful feminists, and kept from achieving everything to which they aspire.  In fact, this implies, these same women are rebels, who won’t knuckle under to those shrews who are stopping them from being as beautiful as they can be.

Maybe there is a place where this is true, but in my career (in publishing and public relations, both generally more open to women than not) I never saw an instance where someone was penalized for looking too attractive to men.  I saw many cases where someone was penalized for being too fat, too butch or otherwise unattractive to men.

As I write this, I’m wearing a $250 bra. I didn’t pay that much for it, but saw it online at a steep discount and wanted to see what that kind of money bought at retail.  It’s nice.  It’s very light and comfortable.  I can see why it’s something that a wealthy woman might want to have.  It is not, however, a triumph of feminism.

Call me when Barbie wears Birkenstocks.  Then we’ll talk.

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, could never walk in Barbie’s shoes.