“Aquaman and The Others” #1 by Marc Alan Fishman – Snarky Synopsis | @MDWorld

April 13, 2014 Marc Fishman 0 Comments

Written by Dan Jurgens. Art by Lan Medina, Allen Martinez, and Matt Milla

Well, it was bound to happen. Week after week, I sampled the All New Marvel Now books. And with each passing one, I found myself gleefully flipping pages and declaring “This is what comics are all about!”. Leave it to DC to crush my spirit and mercilessly declare “This is what comics are all about?” Once again the New52 fumbles on the first play. “Aquaman and The Others #1” is yet-another example of predictable plot, nothing-special art, and a concept ripped out of the any number of other banal pieces of fiction. What’s worse? I now have to dive in for a couple of paragraphs in order to prove my point. Come, kiddos… Trudge with me!

Dan Jurgens, stalwart wordsmith of the 90s and augts picks up where (I assume) Geoff Johns left off. Aquaman and a rag-tag band of D-Listers – which is me being extremely generous– are being hunted for the Atlantean artifacts they each possess. I’m happy to admit I don’t know the first thing about ‘The Others’. Nor am I compelled to look it up on Wikipedia. To be blunt, the only reason I checked the book out in the first place is because I’d once heard rumors that John Ostrander was to be writing this book. The fact that he’s not shines all over the place. Ostrander is a venerable king of marrying real-feeling no-names into the cape and cowl show. Check his run on Suicide Squad, and Amanda Waller if you don’t believe me. But I digress.

Jurgen’s script is so by the number, it’s practically Sudoku for kids. But unlike Ghost Rider from last week, nothing pops amidst the predictable. Each member of the Others are given a short introduction. These scenes– the bread and butter of all origin issues– are played with no style. And each member of Aquaman’s Justice League of Walla Walla is so banal, I fear describing them to you. But, hell, we made it this far, right? There’s Soldier Guy (yeah, I’m so down on this book, I’m not even doubling back to reread their names). He has gold shackles that make force waves, and he apparently is the kid from the Sixth Sense, all grown up. Then there’s Shakira, Jungle Babe. She’s the typical protector of the animals, and she feels no shame in basically being naked. There’s Pocahontas, who can travel to the spirit world, because you know… Native American. And there’s old soldier guy. He’s an old soldier who’s really good at being a solider. The team is led by Aquaman. You know him already.

So, yeah, there’s eeeevil people after each of these morts. Way back in the day, Aquaman’s ancestor (Atlan, natch) killed an alchemist and stole some magic gold. He forged the McGuffins that the present team are being hunted for. They are like modern day Planeteers; each in possession of an artifact that’d be better off in a safe deposit box. The villain? Unnamed random spooky someone. His team of red-clad techno-ninjas came off the set of some B-movie, and proceed to not do anything right.  Twenty pages of ninjas failing at doing anything short of blow up stuff. A team that should all be compelling, but are just a collection of tropes. And their leader? The supposedly now-interesting Arthur Curry, who does nothing in this book except punch a few ninjas, and expunge plot points to move the book forward. OK. I’m done.

Suffice to say: unlike She-Hulk, Magneto, Ghost Rider, or the New Warriors… this book does nothing to set itself apart from the inane. The art by Medina and company is typical DC treacle. It’s slick. It’s sharp. It’s all rendered well. But it’s old hat. It’s house style. Whereas the House of Mouse is pushing boundaries with each book’s style du jour… ‘The Others’ opts for looking like just another Jim Lee Lite book. The fact that even the splashes are just pretty, but sans feeling just make me sad. Here’s talented people being put on a book I can’t seem to find the passion in anywhere. Look at any page of the aforementioned Now titles, and you’ll see a marriage of writer and artist helping to define a less-than-A-List character through a unique lens that helps elevate their title to being uniquely them. Flip through this retread schlock? You get any one of a dozen other books on the shelf; all oddly enough being churned out by the same Damn Company.

Ultimately “Aquaman and The Others #1” is just a waste of ink, paper, and hard work. If you’re even marginally curious? Do yourself a favor: go for a swim instead.