Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word, by Martha Thomases | @MDWorld

June 7, 2014 Martha Thomases 1 Comment

There are a lot of things in this world more important than what celebrities say.  I don’t look to actors or musicians for political insight, since they are no more qualified (mostly) than I am.  Obviously, there are exceptions (Martin Sheen has been part of the anti-war movement for decades, Arnold Schwarzenegger was governor), but, for the most part, I don’t expect celebrities to know any more than my neighbors.  They are not my primary source for information on any given topic other than acting, music or, possibly, real estate fantasies.

So, when Jonah Hill said something stupid the other day, it barely registered on my radar.  I like Jonah Hill okay.  I’ve liked him in all sorts of stupid comedies.

Hill said this particular stupid something (he called the guy a “faggot”) when a photographer got in his way.  I’ve seen paparazzi stalk celebrities in my neighborhood, and it doesn’t look like something that is any fun.  It may be part of the price of fame, but it is not a perk.  A celebrity walks out with garbage, and they get in his face.  A celebrity walk sdown the street to meet a friend for lunch, and they get in her face.  The media pay them extra money for an unattractive shot, so they try to piss off the celebrity.

This does not excuse calling someone a “faggot” in anger.  It explains it, but it doesn’t make it okay.  But here’s the thing.  I say all sorts or stupid crap when I’m mad.  I strive to just say it in my head while I glare, but sometimes I actually form words and say them out loud.  I’m not proud of this, but I think it is part of being human.  We have emotions.  Sometimes we get carried away by these emotions.

An adult apologizes when this happens.  And this is where Hill really came through like a champ.

If you read the link above,  you’ll see what he said.  It’s really good.  He doesn’t do any of that weasel “I’m sorry if you were offended” crap which puts the onus on the listener.  Instead, he says right out loud that he was wrong.  He apologizes.  He acknowledges that what he said was hurtful.  He asks for forgiveness, but he doesn’t say it in a way that assumes he will get it.

If he’s just saying what his handlers told him to say, then he has the best handlers in the world.  Give them raises.  I think there’s more going on, however.

For one thing, he made his first apology on Howard Stern’s radio show.  Stern is many things, but he’s not politically correct.  It’s not the place to pander to the people most likely to have been offended by Hill’s comments.  This makes me think that Hill really felt horrible about it, that it was weighing on his mind, and he felt he had to address it.

After he made his initial apology, he kept on apologizing.

When I was his age, very few people considered “faggot” to be an unacceptable word.  It was used all the time, regardless of the political persuasion of the speaker.  That’s because everybody, left and right, thought that homosexuality was something shameful.  Relatively few people had come out of the closet.  Implying that someone was gay could get you sued.

Happily, those days are gone.  Because of the courage of the LGBTQ community, we live in a world where we know that our friends, our neighbors, our families include them.  When we use a word like “faggot” we hurt them, even if they are not part of the specific conversation.

An adult who was raised properly by his or her parents does not carelessly insult people for no reason.  And if s/he does, s/he takes steps to rectify the situation.  That’s what a well-brought up person does.

Jonah Hill brought his mother to the Academy Awards this year as his date.  She seemed to be very proud.  If I was his mother, I would be even more proud now.

Media Goddess Martha Thomases may already be the world’s proudest mom.