Sound and Fury, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #371 | @MDWorld

July 14, 2014 Mike Gold 3 Comments

I’ve figured it out. I’ve figured out how to get climate change reform off the ground. And the solution is so simple I’m amazed it wasn’t implemented a few years ago.

Get somebody to go on Fox “News” and tell their right wing masses that climate change is real and entirely the fault of President Barack Obama. In fact, climate change is so bad Barack Obama must be impeached!

Please note: Republicans continue to call climate change “Global Warming,” either out of a sense of nostalgia or because these folks are truly stupid. Or both.

Recent history informs us this tactic would work. Every time Obama takes a Republican idea and offers it up to Capitol Hill, the Republicans conveniently forget it was their idea in the first place and slam it like a fly on the picnic table. This happens all the time.

Bill Clinton used to do this, but he had a guy on the Hill – Rahm Emanuel – to remind the Elephants of their involvement. Unlike the current crop of Republicans, these old-timers (now referred to as RINO, Republicans In Name Only but at the time they were the loyalists who impeached Clinton for illegal use of a Cuban cigar) thought they won the argument and, therefore, America got the best part of the deal. The fact that these old timey-whiney Republicans understood how videotape works probably influenced their decision.

Today’s Elephants think America gets the best part of the deal when they block anything and everything from happening – and then blame Obama for not doing anything. When television commentators broadcast footage confirming their hypocrisy, they continue to deny making their original statements. The Republicans keep Jon Stewart in business.

So in order to save our future generations so they, too, can push the national debt off onto future generations, Barack Obama has to fall on his rubber sword.

The most peculiar aspect of this tactic is that it will probably work every time… at least until November, when the Republicans will shift from blaming Obama for everything to comparing whichever Democratic candidate – I’m nowhere near certain that will be Hillary Clinton – is leading in the polls is exactly the same as, if not actually worse than, the Great Black Anti-Christ.

The Republicans are convinced that the more they do nothing and then blame everything on Obama, the more likely they are to win in 2016. This strategy did not work so well in 2012, but as we all know, the proof of insanity is to do the exact same thing over and over while expecting different results.

The Congressional Republicans do not work. Every time their paycheck hits their bank, they are ripping off the American people and those American businesses that pay their taxes. To repurpose Macbeth, the Republican Party is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com and on iNetRadio, www.iNetRadio.com as part of “Hit Oldies” every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week – check www.getthepointradio.com above for times and on-demand streaming information. Gold also joins MDW’s Marc Alan Fishman, Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.