Black Friday, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

November 29, 2015 Victor El-Khouri 3 Comments

I’ve never been a fan of the Black Friday phenomenon, turning the day after Thanksgiving into a consumerist free-for-all.  Not only do I have a political critique (I think the Solstice holidays should be about more than buying crap), but getting up early to fight mobs at the mall (or urban equivalent) sounds like my idea of hell.

Four years ago, my husband started his chemo on Black Friday, so now I really resent it.  It seems like the calendar’s conspiring with the rest of the Universe to depress me.

Yes, I am that self-centered.

This year, as in many others, I am not the only person who thinks that perhaps we should reconsider the orgy of consumerism that starts before the turkey leftovers are put away in the fridge.  There are demonstrations in Chicago asking for justice before corporate profits.

However, I have to admit that I like to shop.  I like to give presents.  I like to get presents.  I think this is basic human nature, to want to feel important and loved.

How do we get past the seasonal greed to a place where we can celebrate our friends and family, with love and empathy and gratitude?

There isn’t one simple answer.  However, I think a part of an answer can come from acknowledging our feelings, and even using them as tools to help us on our path to a better place.

When my son was little, we didn’t demean him for wanting toys for the holidays.  Instead, we would get him gifts, but also involve him in getting gifts for others, urging him to imagine how they would feel when they opened the packages.  I would buy mittens and scarves, put them in a box and wrap them up pretty, and we would go out on the first night of Hanukkah and give the box to the first homeless person we found.  He got to enjoy his gifts, and enjoy giving to others, too.

It’s possible to teach this to your loved ones (of any age) by shopping at places that promote fair trade and humane working conditions.  I like this place and this place, but I’m an old hippie and these sites keep pretty close to my core aesthetic.  You can also also find feminist gifts (and I very much want all of these) and Jewish gifts.

You can find things that benefit whatever cause is most important to you.

Besides doing some good with your money, gifts like these allow you to have conversations with the people to whom you give them.  And good conversation with someone you love is the greatest gift of all.

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, confesses that a gift from Tiffany’s would probably also be pretty great.