New Level, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

December 24, 2015 Victor El-Khouri 6 Comments

Last year, my only New Year’s resolution was to leave my apartment at least once a day, weather permitting.  I did pretty well, making it until October when I just refused to put on real pants when the sun was shining.

This year, I’m going to try to be more ambitious.  Not because I have more to do.  Not because I have so many failings.  Not because I am more virtuous.  No, I’m going to do it because I like the feel of real accomplishment.  If I can do most of these things for most of the year, then my last week of December 2016 will feel good.

So, here goes.

•  While I resolve to continue to play with my cat every day (we both need the exercise), I will stop buying her toys every time I feel guilty.

•  There’s a mosquito in my bedroom.  Even though I’m a pacifist, I’m going to smash it.

•  I’m not going to think about what Donald Trump imagines goes on in women’s bathrooms.  I’ve read H. P. Lovecraft and that’s enough.

•  When I see pre-school children (and I don’t look like a stalker), I will try to talk to them.  There’s another new study  that shows how much children benefit from verbal interactions with adults.  Since so many parents are so overworked, it falls to those of us who don’t have small children to try to take up some of the slack.  Also, little kids are awesome.

•  I’ve always been nervous about eating dinner alone in public.  I don’t know what exactly scares me.  Do I think strangers will stop and berate me for eating while fat?  Do I fear the pity of the waiter?  This has not only kept me out of very nice restaurants near my home, but from traveling on my own.  This year, I aspire to do both of these things (but will settle for one).

•  On a related note — They say that no one, on her death bed, says she wishes she spent more time at the office.  I’m willing to bet that no one says she wishes she ate less chocolate.  Obviously, there might be exceptions to this (from the homeless or the morbidly obese), but I think they are, generally, true.  I have a tendency to obsess about what I eat, and what it will do to my physical appearance (about which I also obsess).  These are not things that are important in life.  I will try to get over myself.

•  Years ago, when I was really depressed, I decided that I would try to be grateful for at least one thing every day.  Even on bad days, I can notice that my cat will sit on my lap, or the hot water in my shower unkinks my sore hip.  I need to keep doing this.

•  If I can’t stop buying cat toys, I will at least try to recycle the ones she doesn’t like.

Media Goddess Martha Thomases wishes you and yours the best 2016.