Ohio, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

November 28, 2016 Victor El-Khouri 2 Comments

Because I know you worry, Constant Reader, let me assure you right away that I survived my visit to the Midwest.  The few political conversations I had were civil and enlightening, and there was only one argument with a Trumpist, and he was nasty drunk and shut up when I calmly presented him with facts.  Otherwise, it was four days of good food, (mostly) good weather and lovely guest rooms.

These are my people.  They are my relatives, my step-siblings, my parents’ friends, my friends from elementary school.  I suppose, in some ways, they are a continuation of the bubble in which I live, if one assumes I live in a bubble.

I don’t assume that.

First of all, not everyone in New York City is the same.  Not everyone in Ohio is the same.  The state contains some horrid people and some lovely people.  To make things even more complicated, sometimes horrid people do nice things and nice people do horrid things.

Humans are complex.  While life is easier when we stereotype, it is less interesting.

Before I went away, I had a conversation with a friend (who shall remain nameless, because he hates attention) about the election.  My friend said that Trump won because there are millions of people who are frustrated with our current reality.  He cited a guy who works really hard at his job, has a kid in college (which he can’t afford) and takes his younger kid to the mall to get shoes (which he can’t afford).  While he’s at the mall, this guy goes to the men’s room and has to take a piss at a urinal next to a guy in a dress.

“Where’s the guy in the dress supposed to pee?” I asked.

“That’s not the point,” my friend said.  “My point is the guy has to buy shoes.  He doesn’t need the aggravation.”

“No,” I said.  “The point is that the guy hasn’t had a real raise in decades, and the people who keep all the money tell him his problems come from a guy in a dress.”

This is where I’m going to split hairs and disagree with Bernie Sanders.  He recently said that the Democrats rely too much on so-called “identity politics,” by which he means appealing to people based on race, gender identity, ethnicity etc.  And, up to a point, I can agree with him.  When different groups are pitted against each other, the only people who win are the people setting them up.

White working class people and working class people of color share more problems than not.  We need to prove this to each other.

At the same time, we need to acknowledge that we are individuals, with individual issues.  A white working class man in his twenties may share the same economic difficulties as an African-American working class man in his twenties, but he probably hasn’t been stopped by the cops as often.  I don’t mention this to start a competition about who is more oppressed, but to point out that this is one way in which the police are used to keep us apart.

We need to work together instead.  We need to find common ground while celebrating our unique experiences.  We need to enjoy an occasional laugh and maybe some harmless spite.

Most of all, we need to reach out to people who fear us.  It doesn’t matter that their fear is baseless and hateful.  If anything, that makes it more important.  And easier!

The most effective way to get our country back on track is through demonstrating that our values are American values, that we have more fun, get laid more often, and help each other to hurt less.

Media Goddess Martha Thomases wishes that more New York restaurants served the kind of sautéed greens with hot peppers that she can get everywhere in Youngstown.