Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
I’ve been doing a lot of public speaking lately. It’s a thrilling experience to share my story or tips and instantly connect with people. I love telling stories and engaging with people in person. Watching their reactions and influencing the tenor of a crowd, is a powerful experience. Its something I pinch myself about each time.
Growing up, I was deathly shy! I stayed quiet and kept to myself. If you insulted me to my face, I smiled and tried my best to be cordial back. Despite my timid mannerism, my point of view has always been distinct and often times deemed very eclectic. My outlook was often far fetched and hard for others to relate to. I was afraid of how I would I be perceived, so I kept quiet. When I started coming out of my shell, I used storytelling as a way to engage people. I hooked people in with an engaging line and had people begging for more. I learned how to draw people in and hang on my every word.
All the crazy topics and controversial viewpoints I thought people would judge me on, came to be something that endeared people to me. I was no longer a wallflower with a Stepford Wife’s smile, I was a unique individual. The type of person that made a difference, the type of person that challenged the status quo.
After some recent reflection, I realized I was letting my inner shy girl take over. My “Writers Block” on this site had nothing to do with being at a loss for subjects to speak about, hell if we’ve ever met you’ll know I’m rarely at a loss for words or an opinion. What I was experiencing was a “Truth Block.” Public speaking reminded me of the bold stories and unique commentary I have. It has been eating at me for the last week on how to break back in- a funny joke at my expense? a wild tale of being abducted by aliens or Storm Troopers? I recognize that I go through this cycle every so often and avid readers of this site may be able to recall other times I’ve been in this position. What can I say? I’m a flawed individual.
I admire writers and artists who can put their words down despite their trials and tribulations. Who abandon concern for others judgement and be truthful to their experience. As an artist, I hear a lot of my non-creative friends say that artists are weird and so different than the rest of the world. My response to that is always the same- We aren’t weirder or so different, we simply paint and write the truth that others ignore or hide and bury. We all have a story, a trial, or difficult days among the sunshine and rainbows. So here’s to writing an article every week and not worrying about judgement and fear. If I miss a week, I’m sure you will hear about my fate from MOTU and his death ray.
“If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived”