Con-ked Out, by Arthur Tebbel – Pop Art #188 | @MDWorld

July 18, 2012 Arthur Tebbel 1 Comment

Dear Art,
How did you like Comic-Con this year?  Wasn’t it intense?  Titles for all of the Marvel sequels were announced, there was a Firefly reunion, and Guillermo del Toro showed his Japanese monster movie.  The Hobbit for Pete’s sake!  You must have been like a kid in a candy store.  How much did you love it?  It must have been a lot.  You can just say a lot, short column, and take the week off to recover from your nerdy adventure.
-An Anonymous Fanboy

Fanboy,
I have a confession to make.  I did not go to Comic-Con this year.  Please don’t revoke my geek credentials over this.  I spent something like 24 out of 30 days out of town in the last month and I just didn’t have one more jaunt to San Diego in me.  Although I guess after driving to Northwestern Washington, flying to New York and then driving to Las Vegas a trip to and from San Diego would have felt like absolutely nothing.  I think there’s a darker truth underneath all of this.  Something I’ve been saying to myself for years but it has never really felt as true as it does right now.

I don’t think I ever want to go to Comic-Con again.  I would consider being in San Diego on a weekend that corresponded with a certain international comic book expo but I never want one of those black and yellow lanyards around my neck again.  I realize that must sound quaint at this point ton suggest that the lanyards have the Comic-Con iconography still and haven’t been sponsored by whatever movie is big enough to afford it and desperate enough to think it needs it.  I would bet this year that it was The Expendables 2 but maybe the Total Recall remake.

The only reason to go to San Diego is to be at one of Michael Davis’ fantastic parties.  Missing the party this year was my only regret.  I have had some great moments at those parties.  I’ve seen and experienced things you wouldn’t believe.  While my NDA with an unnamed universal master prevent me from going into most of those stories here I can tell you my favorite story.

Samuel L. Jackson once wanted to look more like me.  I know what you’re thinking, Sam Jackson is an iconic megastar who’s trademark appearance is second only to his voice in terms of identifying marks, why would he want to alter his appearance to look more like an awkward white kid?  I had something he didn’t have, an Alex Ross Barack Obama shirt.  He demanded to know where I got it then told his assistant where to get one.  I was moved out of the conversation before I could start giving him some of my killer hair tips (step one: grow some) but I was content to spend the rest of the party talking to the same half-dozen people I spent the rest of the convention with because I had cemented myself as a leading source in black fashion.  A distinction I have coveted ever since.  Case in point, I was wearing glasses way before every NBA player.  You’re welcome.