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GRITS in the White House!!, by Stacey McClain – T.B.A. #3

February 10, 2009 Stacey McClain 10 Comments

instant_gritsbluelogo.jpgOkay, I must tell you, once I came up with the title of this blog, I had to google it to see if there was a similar post. And, YES – it popped up! There was a post entitled, “Grits In The White House” — but the blog was basically a menu that someone listed for a White House Christmas Party. The dish on this menu was “Cheesy Stone-Ground Grits”– I’m sure a bourgie delight. However, I’m blogging about something different today. The fact that on any given morning, it’s possible that the White House Chef will be requested to make grits for the current White House family – The Obamas. And I mean, regular ol’ Quaker Oats-in-the-round- blue-box, with the George Washington looking dude on the front of the box– GRITS. The type of grits you simply serve with salt and pepper and a lump of butter sitting right in the middle of it. My question is, when they’re served – will it be announced?

I’ve raise this question, because it appears as if there have been a lot of information about the Obama’s that I feel might not have been disseminated if they were — I’ll just say… any other Presidential family. I’ve seen a few Presidents elected in my day, however I can’t tell you that particular portions of their lives were THIS magnified. Like, when they announced that Barack’s Presidential vehicle was going to be a Cadillac. The way that it was reported was as if it was a huge deal. Well, in doing a little research (googled it) I don’t remember the press making a big deal when they found out that President G.W. Bush’s car was a Cadillac. And, what about some of the newscast regarding the type of service you get when you’re President? I heard a newscaster say something to this effect, “The Obama’s will have someone at their every beck and call, no matter when they want something, they can get it at all times of the night.” Well, Hell – wasn’t it like that for ALL of the Presidents? Seriously, where is the “big” news in that? Is it me? Or is it that because he a brother of a different hue, that these things have been overly magnified? Another example, Michelle’s mother coming to stay at the white house. Well, my research (google, again) shows she’s not the first mother-in-law to stay at the White House. Laura Bush’s mother, Jenna Welch also spent weeks staying there – I don’t remember significant press on that. Also, Harry Truman’s mother-in-law lived on the white house grounds for a time – was this news back then? My guess is, it wasn’t. They were at most day-to-day conversations… but certainly not newsworthy. Maybe I’m looking at this a little too deeply, and perhaps to some people, these are not frivolous news issues, but important items that we should know about. And, is it just me? Maybe because I was raised on the South Side of Chicago, I tend to see things a little too Black and White and calculated when it comes to politics. Perhaps.

But, since these, what I call “not-so-newsworthy-tidbits of information” have been all-up-in the press, I await the day when we watch the news to hear an important released a tape that might have a conversation such as this:

Int. White House Master Bedroom:Michelle

Hey babe, what you want for breakfast?

Barack

Uh, I’m feeling like some bacon and eggs.

Michelle

Okay, that’s it? You know you have a press conference today. You might want to put something a little heavier on your stomach.

Barack

Okay, uh—add some grits, uh- some toast annnd Orange Juice.

Michelle

Alright, I’ll call down to the kitchen.

Michelle dials the in-house phone.

Michelle

(Cheery) Yes. Good morning to you, too! We’ll have bacon, eggs, grits and toast an O.J. (Beat) What? You’re not sure if you have grits? Oh… Okay. Well, we won’t be down for another hour or so, if you get some fine, if you don’t no problem. Thank you.

Barack

They don’t have grits?

Michelle

No big deal, honey. Just focus on your press conference.

I’ll get the girls, and we’ll meet you downstairs.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the chefs are scrambling (pun intended) trying to figure out who is going out to get grits. They decide the assistant chef is going to run out to get them. They are concerned about time, in case the family comes down early for breakfast. On the way out of the white house, the assistant chef runs into a news reporter (a rookie). The rookie reporter asks the assistant chef, what they were cooking for the Obama’s. The asst. chef hurriedly, tells him that he can’t really talk, he’s rushing to the store to pick up some grits, the First lady needs them within the hour. The rookie news reporter, thinking he has some sort of scoop blows the shit out of proportion and releases a story that the Obama’s sent the chef out, on an emergency run to get GRITS!

Okay, maybe this won’t happen this way. But, if it did, I’m guessing it will be just as newsworthy as the other frivolous items reported in the last few months.

Stacey McClain is a writer, hustling in L.A. like the rest of the writers, seeking employment so that she can have grits and eggs for breakfast. Buy her ebook at Hollwood50tips.com.

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Comments

  1. Mike Gold
    February 10, 2009 - 5:11 pm

    Stacey, to my experience (ok, I grew up on the near northwest side, but I’d spent a lotta time on the south side as — gasp — a neighborhood organizer!) grits just isn’t as big a deal in Chicago as it is in most southern cities. Grits probably aren’t big in Hawaii, I’ll bet. Or Kansas, although I never looked for it.

    Since a whole lotta presidents came from the south, I’d say Barack isn’t the first to get grits. It would be just as weird if the White House chef ordered up on chicken and grits and greens the minute Obama got elected. My guess is, somebody asked the family. What to young girls eat? Did they stock up on Froot Loops?

    However, we will never EVER see Barack Obama photographed eating watermelon! If he loves it, he probably got over that a long time ago.

  2. stacey
    February 10, 2009 - 9:15 pm

    Yeah Mike— You’re right, i’m sure the chef’s did ask… But, my question re: how the press kinda has blown some of the little things out of proportion… what’s your take on that? Just curious… btw.. love your posts!

  3. BJ
    February 11, 2009 - 6:23 am

    Stacey

    I think Michelle would wake up the next mornig in their bedroom and read the story about grits and then turn to Barack and say:

    Michelle

    Honey some reporter wrote a story about us eating Grits for breakfast yesterday.

    Barack

    They wrote about grits … grits… were talking about grits … grits… they wrote about grits… they wrote about grits. (walk to the bathroom) grits … they wrote about grits…((sound coming from bathroom) grits…

    He is a basketball fan and it is about as important as when Allen Iverson repeated practice over and over about a press story in a press conference.

  4. Mike Gold
    February 11, 2009 - 7:47 am

    Stacey, honestly, I think it’s just the downside of fame. Barack is our first rock star president, and celebrities always get over scrutinized. When something negative happens, he’ll get an extra heap of crap for that too. Comes with the job, and he’s got a truly great staff to help manage the whole thing. Look at how he did those two town halls the last two days in Indiana and Florida — in districts that didn’t vote for him. He just might be the real thing.

    His background is unique in so many ways, and he’s got this great affable-yet-take-no-shit wife and these two kids who couldn’t be better if they came out of central casting. The black culture thing is a part of that, to be sure, and for people who aren’t familiar with the culture (like the über-isolated press) it’s something different. And different always makes for celebrity copy.

    Thanks for the kind words about the posts! You made my day!

  5. Marc Alan Fishman
    February 11, 2009 - 9:26 am

    Plus, a refined “foodie” like our new President may very well call it “Polenta” just to be posh about it. 🙂 Great post Stacey.

    It’s true we’ve dubbed Obama a “Rock Star President” but what I enjoy about him versus “Slick Willy” Clinton is all in the details. Where it appeared Bill and Hilary married for power, less for love, Barack and Michelle look about as locked at the hip as Cliff and Claire Huxtable (and I mean that in the best way, as they were one of TV’s BEST married couples). Barack has surrounded himself with good people, and I’m looking forward to the future…

    Whether he eats grits, watermelon, polenta, or foiux gras.

  6. Reg-G
    February 11, 2009 - 7:40 pm

    Hey… GRITS is goooood foood! Especially in the cold winter environs of D.C. (which, btw, is below the Mason-Dixon line) Add some sharp cheddar cheese, some butta’, stir, stir, and stir some more… and you’ve got real ‘stick to your ribs’, tasty comfort foods.

    Fry up some salmon croquettes and buttermilk biscuits and ummmmmmm boy!! Good enuff to make you wanna kiss the chef.

    Us’un real folks know about the benefits of grits…and how they’ll stay with you thru a hard day’s work.

  7. Reg-G
    February 11, 2009 - 7:41 pm

    It’s those snooty tooties that have never broken a sweat doing anything harder than playing tennis or actually had to make their own breakfast or raised their own children without the benefit of nannies that are getting their panties twisted in a bunch.

  8. sonya
    February 13, 2009 - 12:15 am

    Hey Stacey,

    It’s about money. In this country, most of the major outlets don’t really report “news” anymore. It’s all infotainment. Back in the day, news divisions stood alone and didn’t turn a profit, but these days the news is part of the entertainment division. Right now, the Obama family is new and popular, so they’ll be covered like Brad and Angelina to sell papers, magazines, and TV ads.

    This will pass. Obama’s not a movie star. He’s a politician. As the economy continues to worsen, which it will before it gets better, fewer and fewer people are gonna care about the private goings-ons in the White House because they’ll be more concerned with keeping a roof over their own heads.

    Peace.

  9. Vinnie Bartilucci
    February 13, 2009 - 8:42 am

    The media (well, okay, bits of the media) and a far too large number of Americans are champing at the bit for Obama to do “something black” in the whitehouse. Listen to hip hop, tag a wall, something that they can point to, nod, and say “you see?”, as if it means anything. Grits would fit perfectly in that.

    I said it before, but I think the first sit-down meal at the white house should have been fried chicken and watermelon, just to get it out of the way.

    And as the guy who went to play nero Wolfe said in My Cousin Vinny, “No respectable Southerner makes instant grits”.

  10. KellieGirl
    February 16, 2009 - 2:13 pm

    Good job, Stacey. Keep ’em coming!

  11. Lady Katrna
    March 6, 2010 - 7:19 pm

    I love it…Lady Stacey…

  12. MOTU
    March 6, 2010 - 9:26 pm

    Talking about CP time…

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