Damn, I’m Old., by Q. Reyes – Artistic Warfare #16

April 5, 2009 Q. Reyes 1 Comment

What happens when life keeps going, waiting for no one in its path? When we try to stay relevant in a world where the young seem to get younger, faster and smarter? Do we try to compete and hate on those that have evolved and become better? Or do we take the role of mentor and live our lives through the lives of others.

Being exceptional is exceptionally difficult, and sometimes we feel threatened by those that come after us. We might feel as if we’ve paid dues, and they must, too. It’s like playing basketball all your life, only for a young kid playing a couple of months coming dunking the ball on you. That hurts. It hurts to realize that, and if the truth is this painful, it’s a lot simpler to continue living a lie.

I know a lot of younger kids that are better than me in many aspects. I tend to make myself feel better by bragging that I have “wisdom” and “experience” but that’s just a bunch of crap. Shit, John McCain had wisdom and experience, but Barrack was better, regardless.

Wisdom and experience is something old people use to keep relevant. Wisdom and experience will keep you alive, but youth gives you strength to live. How do we transition into a different place in our lives without the pain of the transition?

Feeling threatened by people better than us doesn’t feel good, and we tend to get together with other people that are threatened as well, so that we don’t have to blame ourselves for not being as good as we should. That is as hateful as a human being can become.

Hate comes in many different sizes, shapes and forms. Sometimes, choosing to ignore the good things around us is a form of hate. Not appreciating something on purpose is as hateful as hate can be. I tend to hate a lot of things, especially when they’re better than anything I’ve got to offer. It’s shameful, but come on: No one wants to be less than anything or anyone.

The solution to our hate is to become relevant by playing our role. The Magic Johnson or the Michael Jordan of back then, are not the Magic Johnson or the Michael Jordan of now. The same thing with our lives: We’re not the same people of back then (Note to self: Life has moved on). We’re different now, and we’ll continue becoming different. That’s not a bad thing; we just have to learn to adjust.

People used to watch porn on their VCRs, but now they watch it on the internet. That’s not a bad thing. It’s different, and arguably better. We can’t continue using our VCRs because they don’t make movies for VCRs anymore, and if they do, then it’s probably a movie that sucks.

It’s not about throwing away the classic, but it’s about embracing the new. As I write this note, I realize how good it was when I was the youth. I was the upcoming movement. Now I’m watching the youth. I’m watching them deal with the same issues I’ve already dealt with, way before them. The problem is that I don’t like watching. I want to be one of them, yet I am not. That hurts. When did it stop becoming about me? Should I hate on them because I’m desperate for relevance?

Old School is not necessarily Good School. Old School is old school because it’s old. Old School is only good to Old School. The Relevant School has moved on. So we either fight to conserve the Old School, or we jump on the Relevant School and let the new lead us into wherever it’s going. It’s okay to appreciate Old School, but today only NOW School matters. NOW School will become Old School too, but there will always be a NOW School. We can either hate it, or be a part of it, remembering that to ignore it, is to hate it.

Damn, I’m old.