Black Like Me?, by Michael Davis – Straight, No Chaser #115

May 1, 2009 Michael Davis 15 Comments

As most of you know I’m writing a book called Everything You Want To Know About Black People But Are Afraid To Ask. When I first started talking about it, most people thought I was kidding.

Nope, not kidding. It’s a real book from a real publisher and I’m going to get into real trouble when it comes out. I will certainly get some people pissed at me after they read the book. In fact there will be people pissed at me who won’t even read the book. The title alone will cause some people to attack me. How, they will ask, can you speak for all black people? When I’m interviewed on the Today Show I will answer, “ I don’t speak for all Black people, I’m answering questions that people are afraid to ask of Black people.”

Some people will get the joke, some won’t. I’m sure most of the people who don’t get the joke will be…Black People.

Before I go on let me be very clear, I am PROUD to be a Black man. Except for when I’m stopped by the police for no reason I love being Black. But man, will I take some shots from some Black people when this book comes out.

Why?

Well, once again LET ME BE CLEAR I’m NOT talking about ALL Black people just some Black people. In fact I’m talking about some Black people that I know.

Now, I’m saying again I’m not talking about ALL Black people just some that I know personally. You see how many times I said, Let me be clear and stated that I’m talking about Black people that I know personally? You see the lengths I went to avoid grouping all Black people together? You see all the effort I’m making to avoid any shit from anybody?

It won’t matter. I’m a marked Negro.

Now before I go on, I don’t need any (no matter how well written it is and it always is) like I was saying, I don’t need anyone telling me that in every race there are people who act in the ways I’m about to describe. I know that, I don’t care. I’m talking about SOME Black people I know.

So yes, I admit that my issues with SOME Black people are commonplace among other races of people but like I said. I don’t care to hear about (no matter how well written it is and it always is) examples of such.
You got that Vinnie?

I also don’t care to listen to anyone’s (no matter how well written it is and it always is) thoughts on why race does not matter. For the sake of this piece and my book…race matters!

I’m on this particular rant because I’m about to tell someone Black “No’ and then I’m going to have to listen to Black crap which will be a huge waste of my time.

I hate having my time wasted more than most anything.

Look, some, wait, forget that ‘some’ shit. Black people don’t like to hear ‘no.’ OK SOME Black people don’t like to hear ‘no.’

I’m talking ANY ‘no’ not just ‘no’ you can’t buy a house or ‘no’ you did not get into the college of your choice. Those are ‘no’s” that deserve a reaction of pain and sorrow. I’m about to tell a well known Black artist ‘No’ and I KNOW I’m going to have to deal with a bunch of ‘Black’ bullshit regardless if the ‘no’ is a business decision because he and I are friends.

Or we were friends, we will see if we remain friends after I say ‘no.’ That’s just one of my issues with SOME Black people I Know. Another major issue is the sense of entitlement SOME Black people have like the above-mentioned artist.

I still get people who S U C K asking me to be on The Black Panel at Comic Con. There is a group of horrible and I mean HORRIBLE Black artists and writers who every year BITCH at not being invited to sit on my Black Panel at conventions.

Let me deal with this shit once and for all. For years at comic book conventions all over the country there were panels called Blacks in comics’ or Black comics. In my opinion these panels were nothing more than Black creators moaning about the treatment of Black creators or Black characters at Marvel and DC. I will never forget what Dwayne McDuffie said at one of these panels when asked about Marvel and DC’s lack of Black Characters and storylines, Dwayne said; “It’s not up to Marvel and DC to tell our stories it’s up to me and you.” That statement alone made me rethink the way Black creators dealt with the rest of the comics industry.

The next year, I created the Black Panel and the goal of the panel is to share information, network and create a positive place where people can not only be informed but also be inspired.

Now, it’s NOT easy getting on the Black Panel. Over the last seven years the panel has included, CEO’s of major entertainment companies, superstar creators, network presidents, mega hip hop stars and the like. This year I can’t believe who’s on the panel but that’s a column for another day.

Now why in the world would I put Larry Suck a HORRIBLE comic book ‘artist’ who inks his work with a ballpoint pen on the same panel as the President of B.E.T.?

Because he’s Black?

Hell, if that’s the case I should be paid like a porn star, I like sex and I think I’m real good at it. Doubt me if you will ladies, I’ve been told it’s the best two minutes ever!

So to my earlier point (lost I know in my unrelated rants) I know that some of my views in my book are going to get me into trouble and the only reason I’m even writing about this now is because I’m just pissed about having the ‘no’ talk with a artist who I KNOW is going to pull out the ‘Black Card.’ Oh yes, Black people SOME Black people use the ‘Black’ card on other Black people. It’s usually a You know how they do us or You know how it is or some such comment that speaks to the injustice being wrung on us by the White Man.

Hey, I’m not saying there is no injustice. I’m just saying to the artist; in the immortal words of American Idol’s Simon Cowell; “It’s a no.”

Or…You know how it is.