Little Bitch Hypocrite , by Michael Davis – Straight, No Chaser #122
June 19, 2009 Michael Davis 2 Comments
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a MILLION times…
You cannot regulate morality.
The GOP is the self proclaimed MORAL MAJORITY.
Really? That so?
So why do so MANY get caught cheating, or sticking their foot under a bathroom stall looking for a little homosexual penis action?
I would be lying if I said I took no joy in the recent news accounts detailing Republican RIGHT WING Nevada Senator John Ensign’s AFFAIR!
I LOVE this shit.
Yeah one of the many people in the GOP who loves to tell OTHERS how to live and who to sleep with-according to their dogma- just admitted screwing the WIFE of an employee. Why did he admit it? Was it his own moral outrage that begged at his soul screaming; “Tell the truth, be true to your convictions and make amends!”
Nope.
Allegedly two other GOP members were trying to BLACKMAIL him and… hold on a moment, isn’t blackmail a moral no no?
The guy represents the GAMBLING capitol of the WORLD and…wait a sec, isn’t gambling a VICE? I guess not if it’s paying your salary so you can get a nice hotel room and cheat on your wife. As I was ranting, this guy thinks he can tell me how to live but he cheats ON his wife with an employee’s wife.
Ensign called the affair “…the worst thing I have ever done in my life. If there was ever anything in my life that I could take back, this would be it.”
Sooooooo, was the pussy that bad John?
To big? Hairy? Smelly?
I mean if it was, the worst thing you ever did, how bad was it? Did the pussy talk back? Was the pussy a liberal?
Soooooo, when you once said, “”Marriage is an extremely important institution in this country and protecting it is, in my mind, worth the extraordinary step of amending our Constitution.”
Soooooo, you were ready to AMEND THE CONSTITUTION until you got some big, hairy, smelly, liberal pussy that wouldn’t shut up.
I don’t know if any of this is true I’m only guessing because you, self righteous hypocrite, won’t answer any questions on the subject.
Ensign was a rising star in the GOP. His name was often mentioned as a Presidential or Vice Presidential candidate.
I guess that boat has sailed.
That bird has flown.
That train has left the station.
That pussy was bad.
Look on the bright side like everyone else who falls from grace all you have to do is meet with your spiritual adviser, have your wife stand by you and don’t fuck up and you may come out of it.
Wait a minute…I said; ‘Don’t fuck up.’ I guess for you it should be simply, don’t fuck.
Mike Gold
June 19, 2009 - 9:20 am
It didn’t have to be the pussy that was bad. It could have been the pusser.
Cue Lou Reed’s classic song about Republican morality, Sex With Your Parents.
Reg
June 19, 2009 - 11:21 am
Michael said…”You cannot regulate morality.”
And from the looks of it, the GOP also seems to be awfully inept at regulating their cerebrums….seeing that they’re hell bent in ensuring that their party continues their downward spiral into irrelevancy by becoming the drum major for the politics of division.
See: SC Repub political honcho…proclaiming the First Lady (and by inference, her entire family…and by proxy those of us who share her ethnicity) was in essence a gorilla…
See: Tenn Senator’s Aide (yeaaah…like her boss THE SENATOR wasn’t down with it) sending out the ‘oh so pictorially descriptive’ email of the POTUS being the fly in the buttermilk…or in their minds, the Spook that knocked down the door…
Naah man.. can’t regulate intelligence either.
pennie
June 19, 2009 - 12:01 pm
This just in…Ensign has now joined the Blue Party–as in blueballs.
Recent past history: a February 25, 2004 press release issued by his own office stated,
“Washington, D.C. – Senator John Ensign said today that he will support an amendment to the United States Constitution defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman only. Ensign said such an amendment is necessary to protect the institution of marriage in America.
“Sadly, the effort to redefine marriage against the wishes of a majority of the people is, with help from activist judges, succeeding,” Ensign said. “In order to defend the institution of marriage, uphold the rights of individual states, and maintain the will of the people, I believe we are compelled to amend our country’s constitution.”
Way to GO guy! I believe there’s a word for people who pay women who “sleep” with them while married to another…
Dear John: How dare you sneer at my diverse crowd of Queers! Deny us the very rights, privileges and respect you enjoy! How dare you while you trash the very institution you so poorly claim to represent and defend–for all the wrong reasons! You defended Larry Craig and called for Bill Clinton to resign? To quote Mr. Dylan (again): “How does it feel?”
To the closet philanderers, sanctimonious bullshitters like Craig Ensign, and all those other false profits (they certainly are not spelled the other way) who rant against us lesser mortals from bully pulpits–PTOOOOOEY!!!!
Like you Michael, I revel in this. I grew up in Las Vegas–the most nakedly hypocritical place on earth. Most of today’s corporate leaders there have one hand on the bible and the other up some skirt all the while proclaiming moral superiority. So different from the up-front wise guys who founded modern Sodom and Gomorrah. Those men were right up front. Often not lovable, but they were honest about their passions.
As you point out: to whom is Ensign beholden? His (then single) mother married Mike Ensign–one of the founders(and later CEO) of The Mandalay Resort group which grew out of Circus Circus; developed and built Mandalay Bay, The Luxor and the Excalibur (among other properties) in Vegas before selling those properties to MGM several years ago and cashing out LARGE. Think Mike Ensign isn’t powerful in Sin City? How did John form his power base? Guess…
You ought to see what goes on in these ivory boardrooms–lots of hooting about the fucking faggots and Queers– right after these pillars finish balling their secretaries on the desk. Speaking of which,a girlfriend of mine once noted: “No such thing as bad pussy.”
Michael your column made me think of that old Chinese (know how you feel about Asian women…) saying: “Stand by the river long enough, you see all the bodies of your enemies float by…”
Martha Thomases
June 19, 2009 - 1:45 pm
What kills me about Ensign is he said he “made a mistake.” A mistake is getting drunk and waking up next to someone. He was fucking that woman for almost a year.
That’s not a mistake. That’s sinning. And he can clean up his own mess before he sticks his nose into mine.
(And, when I consider that I’m a bitch and proud of it, I don’t want his nose any place near my business.)
Mike Gold
June 19, 2009 - 1:51 pm
How did he realize it was a mistake? Like, all of a sudden, did he reel back and shout “Hey, is this MY dick?”
Alan Coil
June 19, 2009 - 7:22 pm
He realized it was a mistake when somebody started making noise about going to the press.
He didn’t think It was a mistake when he doubled her salary. And he didn’t think it was a mistake when he found a job for her son–all while screwing Momsie.
Kyle Gnepper
June 19, 2009 - 8:58 pm
I just love this sh*t. Every time a GOP loud mouth who spends every camera recorded second telling us how to live our lives get caught on this sort of thing I smile.
For me the only questions is who will really be at fault. It’s been a while since anyone blamed their infidelities on a sudden drinking problem. They can always dust that one off.
Marc Fishman
June 20, 2009 - 2:35 pm
“I swear it wasn’t hard or anything… and then I tripped… and got back up, and tripped again… and got back up, and tripped…..”
Reg
June 25, 2009 - 4:39 am
Re: Gov. Mark Sanford…..
Didn’t we just have this conversation?? Sheesh.
Alan Coil
June 25, 2009 - 2:54 pm
I find it amazing that they are all Republicans.
What is that old saw about casting stones?
Vinnie Bartilucci
June 25, 2009 - 2:57 pm
“What is that old saw about casting stones?”
I believe it’s “Anyone who casts a stone before I say has to go to the back, even if they do say ‘Jehovah’.”
pennie
June 25, 2009 - 5:32 pm
New updated reality show on tap: “America’s Least Wanted.” Maybe Blago can grab a cameo as a side love interest–a twist on “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.”
Theme song, natch…”Blame it on the Bossa Nova.”
Amazing how all these politicos of both persuasions can’t seem to keep it in their pants.They must think it’s a matter of pubic trust… Think we’ll see Olympia Snow, Tammy Baldwin or Nancy Pelosi rubbing off in the marbled halls anytime soon?