The Rat Race, by Tatiana – In The Mix #23

June 18, 2009 Tatiana EL-Khouri 7 Comments

Recently I was working on a film shoot and ran into an old college classmate from my first major- Digital/ Video Art. I was amazed that we were in the same place working in the entertainment industry but took different routes, he’s doing lighting and I’m doing Illustration, among a lot of other titles. Many choices along the way and twists and turns through the rat race have shaped my current place in my life and career.

When I was applying for college, I had no clue what I wanted to do or study. I felt the pressure mounting as I equated picking my college major to setting my path for the rest of my life. Dramatic? Yeah a bit. But everything during your teen years is filled with melodrama, this choice was no different.

I began to reflect on my passions and comb through what stood out. I’ve always had an inquisitive mind and leaned towards exploration. I had dreams of discovering a new ancient city or a long lost artifact that would change the way we view modern society.

When I expressed this interest to advisors and adults I trusted, they pointed out these two facts:

1. I faint very easily and probably wouldn’t be fit to be on an excavation dig. (I’ve suffered from fainting spells since I was 4, no clue why. But trust me I have tons of comedic and scary stories to tell on a later day.)
2. I probably would never do an excavation dig because the bulk of my work would be buried in books- researching and writing dissertations.

Being stubborn, I didn’t take those reasons without my own due diligence. My arguments were:

1. I would do digs in lands that did not have tropical heat.
2. I really didn’t see what was wrong with reading stacks of books and writing papers.

But once I realized the job market for an Archeologist wasn’t the biggest field, I decided to look into more of my passions. The only think that stuck out was my love of video games. I was and am in no way shape or form the best gamer out there but I know my games and love the craft. I spent hours watching my brother play my Nintendo 8 bit, I was always amazed at all the secret lairs and bonus levels.

So I began thinking about how to make a career of my love of video games. I was convinced I should be a programmer, since I leaned toward all things electronic and technology. But something didn’t feel right about that. I realized my passion was centered around the creative process and the storytelling aspect of video games.

With the help of my college adviser, I settled on being an Art major with an emphasis in Digital/Video Art. Up until that point, I had not viewed myself as an artist or painted a picture. So I was less than thrilled to be in the Art department, let alone be forced to take beginning drawing classes. I dreaded the first day of Still Life drawing and longed for the year and a half it would take to get to my Digital/ Video Art class. Caught up in the fact that I was a perfectionist, I submersed myself in drawing to get an A. To my surprise I could draw and it was actually quite relaxing!

After putting in time with my beginning drawing classes, I was geared up for my first Digital/Video Art class only to be extremely let down. I picked the wrong program! The video in the emphasis title had nothing to do with video games, I was in a filmmaker program. I couldn’t believe it! But I decided to make the most of it and approached my film projects with the same investigative, exploring nature of my passion for Archeology. My films were a weird but lovable, love child of Edgar Alan Poe, John Waters, Tim Burton, and Betty Crocker.

I didn’t feel at home in the program, my films were always the polar opposite of my peers. So all it took was one critique from one of the hardest teachers in the program to have me think about a new direction. He said that I spent more time with my film compositions, frame for frame than I did the entire video short and that I should look into Illustration. With the most lackluster delivery and critique, I listened and never turned back. Although I’ve veered in a variety of directions, my passion lead me each turn of the way.