What if God had a Myspace? by Q. Reyes – Artistic Warfare #40

September 20, 2009 Q. Reyes 1 Comment

A while back my wife wrote a blog she titled “What if God had a Myspace?” I thought it was brilliant. It had a unique perspective and spiritual depth. So I thought, “hum… why don’t I take that great blog, dumb it down to the most common denominator, and make it my own? So here I am.

What if God had a Myspace? It’s a great question we should have been asking long time ago. If God had a Myspace, would he be your friend? Would you accept his “friend request?” Would you take down all those questionable pictures you may have?

What kind of comments would God leave you? Would he send you invitations to install useless applications? Would he tag you in a photo? Would God have too many friends to pay you attention? What would God’s age be?
  

What would God’s photo albums look like? Would he have the disciples as his top friends? Would he stop by your page to “show you some love?” What song would God have feature in his profile? Would God’s picture be light? Or a white dove?

What if God got tired of all those young kids on Myspace and decided to join Facebook instead? What would God’s updates be like? What would you write on God’s wall? Would you become a fan? If God wrote a blog, would you read it?

What if that blog was the Bible, would you read that?

What if God figured he needed more exposure, so he also joined Twitter, would you follow him? Would you send him a direct message? Would you reply to his tweets? What would a tweet from God say? Would his tweets be written in Arabic, English or Hebrew? Would anything God say become a trendy topic?

Would God be able to get more followers than Oprah?

What if God started a website, would he get enough hits to attract advertising? What if God decided to make a TV show, would people watch it? What if God opened a restaurant, would people eat there? What if God established a customer support 800 number, would people call and get help? Would you be on hold for a long time? Would you have to press “1”?

What if God hired a marketing team and a publicist? What company would he go with? What if his team wasn’t doing a good job marketing him? Would he fire them? What if the company he hired started giving him bad press? Is any publicity, good publicity?

What if TMZ followed God around, would they ever catch anything gossip-worthy? What would Perez Hilton say about God’s fashion sense? What would entertainment tonight say about God? What would the Daily Show say about God? What impressions would Saturday Night Live make of God? Who would play God?

Who would play God in a movie? Would God’s movie be a theater blockbuster or a Lifetime movie of the week? Would it go straight to DVD? What kind of reviews would God’s movie get?

What if God didn’t want to deal with any of this? What if he didn’t want to be social? What if he didn’t want to sell himself? What if God only wanted people to be his friend if they wanted to? What if he never wanted to be around stupid people and their social networks and marketing schemes? What if God didn’t want to compete with Oprah or Obama?

What if God commented on this blog?