Mike Gold Was Wrong, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #146
November 30, 2009 Mike Gold 18 Comments
When I’m wrong, I’m wrong. And… I was wrong.
Two months ago, I reported the story of a Kentucky census taker who was found tied to a tree and lynched. A horrific story, the sort you don’t want to believe could happen in 2009. Well, it appears it did not.
It’s freaky, but the man actually committed suicide. I know it sounds incredible, but Kentucky State Police Captain Lisa Rudzinski made a definitive forensic case that strongly indicated suicide and not murder by lynching, or anything else. This belief is enhanced by the fact that the deceased had recently taken out two accidental life insurance policies totaling $600,000 that would not pay out for suicide. Being killed on the job was also worth up to $10,000 in death gratuity payments from the Federal government.
It’s a shame this man felt he had to kill himself in order for his family to get the money they needed, and I guess it’s sad he died for nothing. The guy was an Eagle Scout who moved to the area to be a local director for the Boy Scouts. He became a substitute teacher in Laurel County and supplemented that income as a census worker. He had been undergoing chemotherapy for cancer but maintained a reputation for being punctual and dependable.
The story remains a tragedy, to be sure. But it turns out to be a different type of tragedy indeed. I can get into a rant about our health care system and how it promotes all sorts of drastic action; I’ve done that before and no doubt I’ll do it again.
But this isn’t the time. Moral of the story: keep an open mind. What you believe as true today might take a 180 on you tomorrow.
Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking bizarro music and blather show starts up Sundays at 7:00 PM Eastern on www.getthepointradio.com, replayed the following Thursdays at 10:00 PM Eastern. Likewise, his Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants pop up every on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday exclusively at www.getthepointradio.com. The regular Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants continue every Monday and Friday on The Point podcasts, available right here at www.michaeldavisworld.com, as well as at www.comicmix.com, www.getthepointradio.com,www.zzcomics.com, and www.ravenwolfstudios.com. You can subscribe to The Point podcasts at iTunes by searching under “The Point Radio.”
Gold is also a regular contributor to www comicmix.com, and edits their online comic book content. Check out the all-new GrimJack: The Manx Cat #6 and Jon Sable Freelance: Ashes of Eden #4, and Andrew Pepoy’s The Adventures of Simon and Ajax, now being solicited in the IDW Publishing section of this month’s Diamond catalog.
Rick Oliver
November 30, 2009 - 5:59 am
But there are, of course, still plenty of wing-nut Census conspiracy theories out there, championed by such reputable folks as Glen Beck and Michele Bachmann:
http://www.politicususa.com/en/Bachmann-Beck
And those are the relatively moderate voices. It may be only a matter of time before someone rally tries to violently resist the census.
Marc Alan Fishman
November 30, 2009 - 9:52 am
Sad indeed Mike. MTV this weekend ran another in their decent “True Life” documentaries, entitled “My parents are broke”. One of the families followed lived in Flint. As soon as I saw it, I just felt my stomach bottom out, knowing no silver lining would be had.
At one point in the episode, one of the parents qwips “Maybe I should take out some life insurance, and die.” Sad when this seems like a viable option.
It’s one of those problems I’d like to see hit a cape book sometime. “Superman… you can leap tall buildings, move mountains, shoot lasers out of your eyes… but could you help me get a job?”
Mike Gold
November 30, 2009 - 10:05 am
Marc — Yup. We’ve got a few friends in Flint. Not pretty at all.
When it comes to asking Superman for help, you’ve got to be careful. He’s the single most inflationary force in history. Squeeze a few lumps of coal and we’re through.
Rick Oliver
November 30, 2009 - 10:19 am
Life imitates art. This is the plot of “Death of a Salesman”. It is, indeed, very depressing. For those of us lucky enough to be employed, our employers have started to resort to “You’re lucky you have a job” as the generic explanation for all corporate policy — and unfortunately, they’re right.
Vinnie Bartilucci
November 30, 2009 - 10:33 am
As a rule, the resolution or correction of such a story doesn’t get NEARLY the coverage the original story does, unless it somehow is MORE seamy than the original story, like the Baloon Boy mishegas. So lots and lost of people will merrily roll along never knowing or caring this wasn’t more evidence of the evils of the Census.
Marc – they came damn close to such a scene in the latest Superman:Secret Origins. It takes place in flashback, at the time of Superman’s first appearance, when Metropolis was a severely depressed city who had not quite sold its soul to Luthor yet. When Superman lands after saving Lois from the falling copter (pulling yet another note from Donner’s film into canon), the people who don’t shy away in fear start coming up to him sking for personal help. Good scene.
Mike Gold
November 30, 2009 - 10:34 am
Homelessness continues to proliferate, with workers seeing far, far more families seeking aid. And, of course, we’re seeing a lot more folks living in their cars now as well.
All of which means we’re going to have a lot of frozen stiffs in a month or two. Whole families of them.
The idea of Beck/Bachman inspired census resistors doesn’t really bother me all that much. Keep the numbers small in the red states. That’s fine by me. Hoist the idiots on their own petards. Still, a comparison between census rolls and voters rolls would be swell.
Mike Gold
November 30, 2009 - 10:43 am
Vinnie: “As a rule, the resolution or correction of such a story doesn’t get NEARLY the coverage the original story does, unless it somehow is MORE seamy than the original story”. Yep. That’s why I wrote the column; that’s why I did this a couple days ago on Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind on getthepointradio.com.
The scene you note in Superman/Secret Origins (which I haven’t read, although Linda’s got a copy) reminds me of a scene from the excellent movie The Year of Living Dangerously. Mel Gibson is being taken through Indonesia and confronts a sea of homeless beggar children. He reaches into his pocket to share what money he can, but he’s stopped by his companion (Linda Hunt? Signorney Weaver? I forget.) You’ll be doing more harm than good, he’s told. The implication is the kids will fight and kill each other over some change that won’t even get them through a day.
Yep. Thanks to Reagan and the Neo-Cons, the United States of America is now a third world nation. Not THEIR world, of course, because they’re fucking hypocrites and, due to their actions, murderers.
Marc Alan Fishman
November 30, 2009 - 1:00 pm
I keep hearing how good Secret Origins is, and I might as well borrow it from my roomates, and read that scene. It’s always been an idea of mine for a spin on the traditonal cape book. To see the superhero from a social/economic perspective. A Green Lantern ring could give way to a)solid light constructs being used in the medical and construction fields! b)create a system of wireless clean energy transfer (please read the oath to plug your house in…) … I could go on and on.
Re: The Year Of Living Dangerously… I recall they did an episode of Duck Tales where Scrooge introduces money to a 3rd world (“tropical island”) nation… All based on bottlecaps. In the end, he nearly destroyed the nation because of greed, and hypocracy. If only we’d paid attention to Scrooge…
Reg
November 30, 2009 - 3:20 pm
Mike said: “He reaches into his pocket to share what money he can, but he’s stopped by his companion (Linda Hunt? Signorney Weaver? I forget.) You’ll be doing more harm than good, he’s told. The implication is the kids will fight and kill each other over some change that won’t even get them through a day”
Mike, I had a similar experience when I made a journey to Addis Ababa almost fifteen years ago. My host stopped me and pretty much said the same thing. It was a heartrending moment…realizing that you’re comparatively as rich as the sultan of Brunei, and want to give something, but in the midst of that rush of desperate humanity, giving would have caused chaos.
But to the point of your article.. high props for remembering the tragedy and posting the correction. And yeah…I truly hope and pray that those whom we elect are also remembering.
Mike Gold
November 30, 2009 - 3:46 pm
Marc, there was a great Carl Barks story (that’s sort of redundant, but it’s also my favorite Uncle Scrooge story) where in order to fool the Beagle Boys, Scrooge melts down his gold into corn kernels, puts them in sacs and loads them into a boat. If you pay close attention to the backgrounds, you’ll see the mice (real mice, not Mickey mice) ate their way into a sac and, over the course of panels, develop their own economy. Some of the mice seemed rather wealthy, too.
Reg, back in my high school days I really studied Ethiopia’s history — absolutely fascinating, as Ethiopia’s a very, very old nation. Not sure I have the guts to go to Addis Ababa today, but I envy you your experience.
Reg
November 30, 2009 - 4:02 pm
Mike, it is indeed an awesomely fascinating land. Extraordinary history. And signficant parts of Addis was (and I’m sure even more so now) far more cosmopolitan than ‘the western media’ had framed Ethiopia. Beautiful culture, beautiful people. I would go back in a heartbeat.
Mike Gold
November 30, 2009 - 4:37 pm
What about the music Reg? I don’t think Americans have any real familiarity with east African music.
Come to think of it — I believe Mike Grell has been there at least once. I’ll have to ask him.
Reg
November 30, 2009 - 6:01 pm
Mike, the music is lovely. Traditional Amharic music has similarities to Indian tonals while Tigrigna music has Semitic flavors. Here’s a link (more modern than traditional, but good nonetheless… http://www.addiszefen.com/tigcol.php
But speaking to the economic crisis that is rocking so many communities within the U.S. and elsewhere and driving people to desperate acts, we need to keep an eye on the Dubai debt crisis as well. We may be in for another oil/gas hike in the not so distant future as certain folks look to recoup (once more at the average person’s expense) their losses.
Rick Oliver
December 1, 2009 - 8:59 am
Reg:
I think OPEC sets the cost of oil. How much clout does Dubai have in OPEC?
The cost of oil will keep rising as a general rule, since supplies are finite while demand is seemingly infinite.
Mike Gold
December 1, 2009 - 9:07 am
Dubai represents something far more sinister than oil. It’s the center of the free market, where the most powerful interests get together to wheel, deal and collude without having to pay attention to the laws and rules of the US and the EU nations. Special arrangements, price fixing, supply fixing (same thing as price fixing; instead of raising prices you limit supply), all sorts of trust activities on an international — yet very personal — scale. The entire city is geared to the exceptionally wealthy in every way, where magnates who would be in personal fear in their very own nations can walk about and associate with relative freedom.
Yes, Ernest Blofeld runs Dubai. Or Dick Cheney; all he needs is a white kitty.
So if the pressure is up in Dubai, where are our next generations of cabals-of-convenience going to come from?
Marc Alan Fishman
December 1, 2009 - 9:34 am
Are you sure Dubai isn’t Chicago, Mike/
Mike Gold
December 1, 2009 - 9:42 am
Marc — Chicago, circa 1892. When we earned the name “The Windy City” because of our politics, not or weather.
Rick Oliver
December 1, 2009 - 12:46 pm
Cheer up Mike! There’s always the Bilderberg Group and Bohemian Grove!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bilderberg_Group
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bohemian_Grove