Two Wives Later, by Q. Reyes – Artistic Warfare #50

November 29, 2009 Q. Reyes 0 Comments

I’ve always picked external topics to write about because it has been the easiest thing to do. I can write about politics, culture, and religion and not feel like I was being judged – at least directly; but now I’ve made a conscious decision to dig in deeper and actually write from my fucked up life experiences.

Another decision I’ve made recently (from a long list of decisions I’ve taken in the last couple of months) is that I’m going to go back to stand up comedy. Why? I need to keep busy. It’s a difficult decision for me, because I still have memories of when I used to do it and I remember how much work stand up truly can be.

Based on the return to stand up decision, I’ve made a sub-decision to write only material that is true to my life. I don’t want to tell random jokes, or to talk about things that don’t affect me, or how Latinos are crazy. I want to find everything that is bothering me deep inside, and talk about it freely in front of an audience that will judge and laugh at me.

I will talk about my obvious dysfunction with commitment and the sanctity of the marriage institution – which first of all, if marriage was a real institution then I’ve been bankrupt twice. If they had a marriage credit score, I could never be able to get married again.

The thing about marriage is that they don’t teach you in school how or when to do it; and once you’ve done it, then what? Especially when you grew up in a home where there was nothing but a single mother. Who teaches you about relationships then? Everyone in close proximity to my life that could have been a marriage role model was either divorced or in jail.

To me marriage is a contract with no loopholes, “…in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part”. That’s the most important contracts that you could ever sign in your life! ‘Til death do us part? Do you know what that means? That means that the only way to break the contract is to DIE! Well, LegalZoom.com has changed all of this – and now you can get divorced online for ninety-nine dollars and incorporate your business at the same time.

There you have it. I’m not sure what’s going to come out of all of this, but I feel better already. Hopefully everything works out in the end – when death does my part.