I Just Don’t Get It, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #149
January 8, 2010 Michael Davis 0 Comments
The other day I was at Mel’s dinner on Sunset Blvd in Los Angeles with my boy Prodigal Sunn of the super group Wu-Tang Clan. I’m not telling you that to impress you…OK maybe I am a little. I mean come on, how cool is it to hang out with Hip Hop Royalty?
Anywho, we were sitting there with three hot girls, one white, one Asian, and one Latino. Yeah, what you are thinking is correct; Sunn uses his relationship with me to meet girls.
I know hard to believe.
At one point I get up to use the little boys room and a pretty black women is walking towards me, I say; “Hi.” And she says; “Really? I didn’t think you were into Black women judging from the girls at your table.”
I JUST don’t get it.
When does “Hi” translate into; “ I don’t like Black women because there are none sitting at my table.” OR, “Jump on my Johnson sister?” Or, “ I’m sorry, that’s never happened to me before.”
I think what the young lady said was an silly statement for anyone to make based only on appearance. But making an uninformed statement is just the tip of the iceberg for the dumb stuff people do regarding race. The fact is the table was simply five friends who had just come from the wrap party for Keu’s (yep the very same Keu who writes on this site) new TV show Latino 101.
So sitting at the table were three foxy women, a superstar and Prodigal Sunn. But we were just friends out for an early (or late depending on how lame you are) bite to eat. The stunning and wonderful Tatiana would have joined us I’m sure if she had not left the party before us. Tatiana is not black either…she thinks she is but alas she’s not. It just so happens that there were no Black women there, but there were two Black men.
Why not take a look at the table and think, Wow, how cool is it to see, Black people, Asian people, White People and Latino people all hanging out together in the brave new world that’s America.
Nope.
What that young lady said was silly but when it comes to race sometimes people are just stupid with a capital S. I went back to my table (the one with the hot non-black women and the guy using me to meet chicks) sitting at another table(s) were some people from Alabama who were in town for some stupid ass football game. They were real loud, I was OK with that. They were real drunk, been there. They started screaming “Go Bama!” School pride, I get it.
Some guy starting singing ‘Dixie.’
Dixie.
Dixie.
“Dixie.
‘O, I wish I was in the land of cotton
Old times there are not forgotten
Look away! Look away!
Look away! Dixie Land.”
THAT Dixie.
Land of cotton?
Old times there are not forgotten?
Translation: “ When niggers were slaves.”
OH NO THEY DID-ANT.
These idiots must have thought L.A. meant Lower Alabama. What kind of stupid must you be to start singing the theme song of the Deep South in Los Angeles in 2010? How dense are you to sing that racist song in the same restaurant where Black people (Free Black people) are sitting?
Man that’s stupid.
I shouted as loud as I could F U C K B A M A and F U C K D I X I E. I got a look from this HUGE drunken red neck who started to make his way over to my table.
Wrong move.
He was about six feet from my table when I said, “Remember asshole you are not in Alabama you are in Los Angeles and Black people here will fuck your ass up.”
You have never seen someone sober up so fast.
Me, not him that mother was HUGE…but he went back to his table after noting that there were quite a few HUGE Negro’s in attendance…thank you Jesus.
I just don’t get it.
This pass week Archie Andrews kissed a Black girl. We have a Black President. However, I don’t see any hope of ABC-TV having a Black Bachelor, even though that show would garner ratings through the roof.
I just don’t get it.
Marc Alan Fishman
January 8, 2010 - 11:42 pm
You, me, and the rest of the smart people. That’s with a lower case s though, so as not to confuse those with spelling issues.
As with many things in life MOTU, people are silly creatures. And when it comes to race, especially in America, it’s a big touchy subject. How quickly do people jump to conclusions, eh? “That black guy has no black women at his table. He must not like black chicks.” … C’mon, really?
Mind you, when I sit down with my friends, I tend to wear my yellow arm band and yamulke, so people know I’m jewish. And Matt wears a cloak, cause he’s into druidism. Kyle’s agnostic, so he tends to wear a giant “?” over his head. Since we’re all white, we figure it’s easier to let bigots, racists, and idiots know we’re minorities in some way too.
I’m reminded of my favorite comedy, Blazing Saddles.
“Uhh, sir… you specifically asked for a… n*****r … and well… to tell a family secret… My grandmother was dutch.”
MOTU
January 8, 2010 - 11:48 pm
Marc,
True. Sad, but true.
Reg
January 9, 2010 - 12:27 am
Michael…you had me cryin’ over here re: your Bubba encounter. They’re in bad supply round these parts. Shame that they had to bring that mess out your way.
The sad thing to consider is how the alcohol just lubed up the gunk that was residing just below the surface. How many more Bubbas are out there…in Armani’s, Dior’s Brooks Bros, and bib overalls?
Re: Sista Sista… you’re of course absolutely right that the sane and functional should have viewed the fun & happy gathering of humanity with healthy eyes…but in reading your account of the moment, I had a memory flash of the scene in Spike’s Jungle Fever (you know the one)which may serve to explain (although not justify) her response.
Re: the Prodigal of the CLAN!!! Yo Yo Yo!!! Man…you keep good company… Those cats (esp. Sunn) spat fiyah!!
Vinnie Bartilucci
January 9, 2010 - 6:59 am
You see, I know little enough about college footballs and its assorted mating calls that I thought they were cheering the President, albeit sarcastically.
Mike Gold
January 9, 2010 - 8:10 am
Way, way back in 1968 I was waiting for my girl friend at her college dorm and, as always, I was reading the hand-written signs about whatever protest action was going on at the time. We were several miles north of Cairo Illinois, and the racial situation down there was so tense the all-white police force and their fellow travelers were shooting live bullets at black folks and their supporters, which included me. First time I was shot at. Great fun. My fear was mitigated somewhat by the young lady I met there, a black woman.
So while I was waiting for her at her dorm, I was reading a poster about a protest rally to denounce black men who were dating white women. First time I saw that. My friend was ready, and I pointed to the poster and said something like “Hey, are we in trouble here?”
Shw said no, the problem was only black MEN dating white WOMEN. I thought that was unfair; actually, I thought the whole thing was unfair — people should date whomever they want and, besides, in Carbondale Illinois it seemed the black guys who were dating white women were hardly looking for trophy wives. Hey, I was 18.
She laughed that little “oh, you dumb guy” laugh that women perfect when their dads first take them to the Disney Store. Before long I became pretty popular with the black women at that dorm. I think they were just trying to piss off the black guys there. This, I figured, was unlikely to inure to my benefit.
Moral: love is just as logical as politics.
pennie
January 9, 2010 - 2:28 pm
MOTU, your scene has been repeated in my life from a different aspect but the same cracker-jack point-of-view. Stupid people—and some not so dumb but just as prejudiced—jump to conclusions based on their own limited experiences or narrow perceptions. Stupidity knows no boundaries.
I’m hardly defending their prejudices. Not one bit. Like you, I have thick skin, but it has its limits. Superpower dispenso-vision…can I order up? You are Master-of-the-Universe.
Martha Thomases
January 9, 2010 - 2:43 pm
The under-current stupidity (as opposed to the surface stupidity) is thinking that whenever a man and woman are seen together in public, they either just had sex or are just about to have sex. The assumption is that we would have no other interest in each other.
And Mike, the sexual politics of your story are worthy of a doctoral dissertation.
MOTU
January 9, 2010 - 4:17 pm
Martha said,
“…thinking that whenever a man and woman are seen together in public, they either just had sex or are just about to have sex.”
I wish, you should have seen those, eh…I mean yes, Martha good point.
” The assumption is that we would have no other interest in each other.”
Let me be VERY clear I had NO interest in Prodigal Sunn.
MOTU
January 9, 2010 - 4:19 pm
Mike,
Tatiana sent me this. It’s just as dense as the piece Martha sent me about Asian women.
http://www.blackstate.com/dateblackwomen.html
MOTU
January 9, 2010 - 4:21 pm
Reg said,
“Re: the Prodigal of the CLAN!!! Yo Yo Yo!!! Man…you keep good company… Those cats (esp. Sunn) spat fiyah!!”
And he’s a nice guy. Except he uses me to meet girls.
Go figure.
Reg
January 9, 2010 - 5:34 pm
Mike said…”First time I was shot at.”
So are you inferring there have been other times??
“She said no, the problem was only black MEN dating white WOMEN.”
To quote the late, great Bernie Mac… “That was some BULL”
MOTU
January 9, 2010 - 7:03 pm
Reg said,
“Mike said…”First time I was shot at.”So are you inferring there have been other times??’
DUDE!!!! Mike worked at DC!
D U H!
R. Maheras
January 9, 2010 - 7:29 pm
I think, in general, people — regardless of their background — sometimes get too hung up about race, culture and religion.
Me — I just don’t care about skin color, cultural differences, and the like. I probably did when I was a very young kid, but my interactions with those of different races, religions and cultures started so early I guess it became a non-issue for me.
For example, one of my earliest best friends, circa 1960, was Japanese — at a time when the 16-year distant WW II was still fresh on the minds of most Americans. Other early friends were Irish, German, Italian, Mexican, Native American, Polish, Latvian, Swedish and who knows what else. And their religions were all over the map as well.
When bussing started in 1967, I was in seventh grade, and overnight my class was half-black. And while there were those on both sides who were unhappy about the new blend, most, like me, adapted just fine. For the remainder of grade school, and all through high school, my classes were integrated. I went to Lane Tech High School, and then, as now, Lane was the largest high school in Chicago. However, unlike most high schools in Chicago during the 1960s, Lane was an academic-based, rather than a neighborhood-based school. In today’s terminology, it would be referred to as a magnet school. Thus, its make-up was about as diverse as one could imagine — kind of like the crew of the original “Star Trek” TV show, but on steroids.
After high school, the jobs I worked at were almost always quite integrated, and when I joined the Air Force in 1978, it was even more diverse than Lane Tech. Add to the fact that during my 20-year stint in the military, I lived overseas for 10 years and visited a wide variety of countries on four continents, there’s not too much about multiculturalism I hadn’t experienced.
But just because I didn’t care about race, culture, etc., doesn’t mean I was ignorant of what other people sometimes said or did. I was not living in some la-la world, ignorant of the intentional/unintentional bias going on around me. And it also did not make me — a white guy — immune from being on the receiving end of racial, cultural or religious intolerance by others.
That said, I shrug off the stupid stuff and press on. And despite the column, MOTU, I suspect you do the same. Life’s just too damn short.
By the way… how come when I went to that same Mel’s on Sunset a few weeks back, there were no beautiful people around — just a couple of wide-eyed, crazy locals sitting in the corner talking to themselves?
MOTU
January 9, 2010 - 7:41 pm
R. Maheras said,
“That said, I shrug off the stupid stuff and press on. And despite the column, MOTU, I suspect you do the same. Life’s just too damn short.”
I try, I really do but sometimes…aggggggghhhhh! What’s really funny is despite my sometime way over the top bravado I really WANT to like everyone. I allow for silly stupid outbursts due to whatever…BUT DIXIE?
R. Maheras also said,
” By the way… how come when I went to that same Mel’s on Sunset a few weeks back, there were no beautiful people around — just a couple of wide-eyed, crazy locals sitting in the corner talking to themselves?”
LOL-that’s the great part about Mel’s you never know who or what you will find there. Once Denys Cowan and I was convinced we were sitting a booth away from an X-file.
Russ Rogers
January 10, 2010 - 12:37 am
My Grandmother was the sweetest old woman. Kind. Generous. She was also horribly racist. She would say some of the most stupid, vicious and awful things. I remember her telling my sister that if she ever married a black man, my Grandmother would boycot the wedding. My sister was ten and shouted back at her, “Well then, I’m gonna marry a black man, Grandma! And we’ll see if you stay away!” My sister was ten, but had a strong streak of social justice in her even then.
The funny thing was, while my Grandmother would spew the most horrible stuff about blacks or Hungarians or the Irish (really, she was a very equal opportunity racist), if you named specific people that she knew, they were always the exceptions. She didn’t let the shit that had been taught her prevent her from loving and caring for the people she actually knew. I’m not saying that my Grandmother was right. But it’s too easy to let racism pollute your whole life, and in my Grandma’s case, it was just what she sometimes had to say.
My point is, even though people can say some stupid shit, sometimes they aren’t always stupid and rotten to the core. But … sometimes they are.