Randumb Thoughts, by Q. Reyes – Artistic Warfare #60
February 22, 2010 Q. Reyes 0 Comments
Randumb thoughts about… PLANNED PARENTHOOD
I’m a procrastinator, hence why I’m 32 with no kids. Well, it’s 50 percent procrastination, 100 percent Planned Parenthood.
Planned Parenthood – that’s the worse place to run into someone. Right? Hey, what you doing here? Again?
I believe in a woman’s right to choose, but Planned Parenthood is making “family planning” (that’s code for abortion)… they’re making it way too convenient.
There’s never a line at Planned Parenthood, they have great customer service – I rather go to Planned Parenthood than DMV. And I hear they even have a drive-thru, so you can get your “family planning” on the go. Cause you’ve got shit to do.
GIRLS AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD DRIVE-THRU:
“Yeah, I want a number one. My friend is going to have a number two, because she’s pregnant with twins… and what do you want in the back? What do you mean you’re keeping it, you whore?”
Nowadays with technology you should be able to get an abortion online. PlannedParenthood.com. Free shipping.
They should sell do it yourself books. Like, “How to family plan… after it’s too late,”
Now Randumb thoughts about… M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN
M. Night Shyamalan is a terrorist. Ever since the “Sixth Sense”, he’s been terrorizing America with his crappy movies.
His movies have gotten sub sequentially worse and worse. Osama bin Laden tapes have better direction than Shyamalan movies. At least Osama has a plot.
I know what you’re thinking, “Why is this guy up there attacking M. Night Shyamalan?” I’ll tell you why: $72.50 in movie tickets. I want my money back. And about 15 hours of life I wasted, too.
Anyone that has seen the crappy Lady in the Water understands what I’m saying. Lady in the Water, should’ve been called “Money in the Toilet… Water.”
In Lady in the Water Shyamalan happened to be “The One” that saves the world. Come on, let’s be realistic. Everyone knows that Indians don’t exist in American movies. It just feels awkward.
I’m not saying that to be racist, because I loved him in Slumdog Millionaire. But I wouldn’t want my own people saving the world, either. There are no Puerto Rican superheroes, and that’s a good thing. I know if you gave me superpowers, someone is going to get taken advantage of. Guaranteed.
If I were Puerto Rican Superman, I would use my powers for no good. “Hey girl, I can see right through your panties… I got X-rated vision”.
Back to Shyamalan. Why does he put himself in all of his movies? He’s like the Puff Daddy of movies.
He was the doctor in the Sixth Sense. He was the neighbor in Signs. Come on! An Indian in Nebraska? What is an Indian doing in the middle of a farm in Nebraska? Did Dell open up a call center there? Did AT&T move their customer service to Omaha?
Let’s be realistic. The only Indian to ever visit Nebraska, ever, has been M. Night Shyamalan when he made that piece of crap movie Signs. People there were like, Oh my God… he’s one of them Talibans I’ve seen in Fox News.
Look, maybe I got something against Shyamalan. Maybe I got something against Indians. I don’t know at this point. All I know is that “Unbreakable” broke me. “The Village” – piece of crap. And “The Happening” had trees that killed people… and Marky Mark. Who came up with that shit?
Trees that kill people? Trees don’t kill people… trees help you live. If there’s a plant that would ever kill you, it would be marijuana. And that’s only because it’s probably tired of getting smoked all the damn time.
But beyond that, if the trees start killing people, just set them on fire. What are they going to do? Run. All you’ve got to do is walk around with a lighter and rolling papers. They’ll get the point.
Even Al Gore was like “okay, Shyamalan. I’m all for the environment and global warming movies, but you’ve crossed a line here. Trees don’t kill people… your movies kill people. There’s a difference.
Now Randumb Thoughts about Randumb Thoughts…
I have nothing else to say until next week. Swing it dis way!