Where I’ve Been, by Q. Reyes – Artistic Warfare #62
March 28, 2010 Q. Reyes 26 Comments
I’ve just got back from New York earlier this week, and I have to say I had the greatest time. I spent the last six or seven months working my ass off, and this last month was really a way to recharge my batteries.
However, one thing I’ve realized is that it’s not about where you at, but who you’re with. I think I can go to Australia, Africa or Europe and have a great time. So it doesn’t matter if you’re in LA or New York, people are people.
So last night I went to an event offering free drinks. Needless to say, I took advantage of that. Then headed out to another spot in Hollywood, Santa Monica somewhere, I think. Kicked it there for a bit longer.
While there, this girl told me she was a kleptomaniac. So I told her “prove it!” I told her to go steal me a drink, and that if she did, I’d buy her a drink. She quickly got up, and not long after brought back a beer. So she was like “now go get me my drink”.
I really didn’t believe that she stole the beer, so I order her a cosmo and I tried to put it in someone else’s tab. Well, it was kind of her boyfriend or something, so I figured this was fair.
I get the drink and I walk away, then moments later the bartender came running after me and said that tab didn’t exist. Because the name I thought I had given was not the real name of the person. So I had to fork out the money to pay for the drink, then the bartender was trying to extort me for a big tip.
Then my friend found out that I was trying to put a drink on his tab, and he got mad, but come to find out that he drunk the drink anyway! Then the klepto girl drunk the beer she stole. So here I am, with no drinks and I had to pay.
But then a couple of girls near us started coming down on me for trying to put that drink on someone else’s tab. So I told her, then YOU buy me a drink – and she did – bought shots for everyone.
All this happened before our encounter with a tranny outside the bar, who for some reason was trying to prove he/she was a tranny by pulling out his mancable. At this point, the klepto girl is throwing up all over the place.
It was time to go, so we get to Astro Burger just in time to watch a fight break out. Then after a long conversation with my friend trying to convince him to have kids, I headed home.
Wait… I’m back in LA???? It doesn’t matter.
Mike Gold
March 28, 2010 - 9:52 am
Astro Burger? You mean, from the Jetsons?
Martha Thomases
March 28, 2010 - 10:38 am
So in other words, just a typical evening.
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 12:01 pm
TRANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are just displaying a universe of ignorance while contributing nothing to anything meaningful when you use crap like that.
Mike Gold
March 28, 2010 - 1:25 pm
Penny — I think I’m visiting that same universe of ignorance. Whereas I haven’t used the word “tranny” (and I can’t tell you why; it just doesn’t seem right) I hear it often enough, and never in a negative context. Yeah, this speaks more to the circles I hang out in, but I wasn’t aware of the objection or its cause.
Ergo, anything you could do to illuminate me would be appreciated.
Keu, The Talent
March 28, 2010 - 1:41 pm
What’s wrong with “Tranny????” That’s what he/she referred to his/herself as. I didn’t even know that was an un-PC term!
He/she is a grown ass man dressed like a woman, pulling out his penis in Santa Monica Blvd. and prostituting him/herself every night? Yet, somehow I’M the one displaying a universe of ignorance?
I’m sorry, but he/she became a Tranny – God didn’t make him that way.
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 2:21 pm
Mike–tranny or its derivatives is most often used as a term of derision. Kind of like many other terms we are all familiar with. Used by a non-trans-person is akin to the way African-Americans feel about Caucasians using THAT word.
Why?
Clearly there are nightmarish historical associations. No different here. Trans-people are one of, if not the smallest minority in a sea of them. We are vulnerable on every level.
Thus. when the phrase, “hot tranny mess” came into vogue several years ago coined by a self-important gay man who should have known better, it was met by outrage from my community. The clear connotation was that that the clothing worn by the object of scorn was akin to something a socially and sexually repugnant trans-person would drape on her his sad-ass body unaware that she/he looked bizarre or ridiculous.
Same thing with, “That’s so gay.” Used in context by the majority, it is clearly a put-down as in, that’s a behavior only a dumb off-kilter homo would perform or a product such a socially unacceptable person would advocate.
There are many references I could cite all over the net, but I think by this time I’ve established my credibility in that regard. Besides, I’d prefer to explain it myself.
Trans-people have the highest number of hate-crimes perpetrated against us of any group in the world, US included. We are rejected by family, friends, and there are countess esteem issues. A ridiculously high suicide rate that is perpetually in the high double-digits. Last stat I read had more than 65% of us living in poverty due to the inability to secure gainful employment due to appearing “different.” Most cannot afford expensive surgical relief. Most are shunned as objects of derision–the untouchables in many caste system.
Contrast this treatment with cultures throughout history where we were revered as shamans who possessed the wisdom and perspectives of all genders, including most Native Americans on this continent, where our condition was bequeathed with the sobriquet “twin-spirit.”
Bottom line–like “faggot” and “queer”–two words which many of us have re-claimed as our own from prior derisive scorn, it is one thing if one of us survivors use it. Quite another if used by a non-trans person, where most likely, it is not placed in a favorable context, but instead, poke abuse at it’s intended object.
Try substituting your favorite slur: “N……,” “K…,” “S…,” etc where “tranny” was used in the post above. Would it pass the smear test?
We both remember Lenny’s famous bit years ago. He was making a point we still have not absorbed.
I will point to one famous stylistic reference guide which I know as a journalist you are familiar with: The AP Style Book. The latest version contains these thoughts:
PROBLEMATIC TERMINOLOGY
DEFAMATORY: “she-male,” “he-she,” “trannie,” “tranny,” “gender-bender”
These words only serve to dehumanize transgender people and should not be used
http://reelfreedom.com/MercStyleRecom.htm
Please ask if I have hit the note. I’ll play on if not. THIS is important. I truly appreciate you asking.
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 2:25 pm
Keu, as opposed to Mike who asked for clarity, you continue to rant.
You don’t know the first thing about what you write about and unfortunately aren’t blessed with the intellectual curiosity or ability to learn and grow.
Martha Thomases
March 28, 2010 - 2:45 pm
@pennie: Not to defend ignorance, but it’s possible Keu is being ignorant. He said that “tranny” was the word she used, and he is, no doubt, unaware of the context.
It seems to me there is a story in the Seder about the sons who ask about what the Exodus means. As Jews, we’re supposed to patiently explain.
For example, Keu, one does no more choose to be trans than one chooses to be white, or right-handed, or brown-eyed.
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 2:51 pm
Mike: here’s a timely blog from yesterday. Hits the note just right.
http://abillings.livejournal.com/
Keu, The Talent
March 28, 2010 - 2:57 pm
Sexual Orientation has nothing to do with Clothing Orientation. Being gay does not mean that you have a free pass to expose your private areas in public…
A man dressing like a woman and prostituting himself has nothing to do with being gay. Just like if there’s a White person wearing blackface, that has nothing to do with being White.
Besides, if he classified himself as a “tranny” – what am I supposed to call him? There was nothing respectable about his behavior that night. So if the gay community want to make excuses for this behavior, then maybe the criminal community would like to defend serial killers too.
But good thing I’m riddle with ignorance. The same ignorance that keeps me dressing like a man and not prostitute myself (for the most part).
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 3:06 pm
@Martha: “Not to defend ignorance, but it’s possible Keu is being ignorant. He said that “tranny” was the word she used, and he is, no doubt, unaware of the context.”
If Keu had taken the approach that Mike did, I would not be calling him out. If you walk by a bunch of African-Americans in public using THAT word. how comical would it be if you used it as well?
You are so correct–whether Intersex, Transgender, Transsexual–all very different conditions and descriptions, we are all created equal in this part of the cosmos. If Keu is so inexperienced and uneducated, before he starts launching ignorant statements like his above, he might want to listen to people who live the life he claims to know so much about.
I don’t care if the trans-woman in his story whipped it out or not. That’s hardly the point. Can I tell you how many times I’ve seen others do the same without labeling them one group or another?
As I stated, there are fundamental issues of few vocational options for some outside of sex work. Issues of abuse, self-esteem, and societal rejection. Does this make any of these people human rejects?
Martha–one of the reasons–other than your sainted presence–that I read and participate here is the focus on uplifting the human condition and spirit. It pervades nearly every column. Not so much here. And I will call this kind of crap out for what it is anywhere, anytime. You know that about me.
Fun is fun. This, not so much.
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 3:12 pm
Keu, I’m going toe-to-toe with you because you are so wrong in your assumptions and statements it defies descriptions. Gender Identity and Sexual Identity are two completely different aspects of human life. Don’t trust me. What do I know? I’ve studied this my whole life and have written books, articles and given lectures. Yeah, that.
Transsexual has NOTHING to do with clothing or being gay or not–THAT is sexual orientation NOT gender identity. Google it. Or not. Stay stuck.
But you just continue to rant. You just refuse to learn from one who has dedicated her life to learning. When someone is an acknowledged authority and I’m scolded that I have many wrong assumptions, I listen up. Shut up. Not push back.
Keu, The Talent
March 28, 2010 - 3:14 pm
If “issues of abuse, self-esteem, and societal rejection” are good excuses for unacceptable behavior, then maybe we should free all pedophiles.
Mike Gold
March 28, 2010 - 3:15 pm
Pennie — Thanks for the clarification. Of course I appreciate it.
Not to negate what you are saying in any way, but I’m always fearful that some people confuse changing the language with solving the problem. It’s so easy to talk the talk; real change is a lot harder to pull off.
I’ll use ANY word in a historical or referential sense. Words are words; it’s context that’s the problem. And, of course, if somebody calls me a filthy kike, I know where they’re coming from and can prepare myself accordingly.
We had it right back in the hippie days, when we decided to call ourselves freaks. After looking the word up in the dictionary (and doing a piece about it on THE POINT), I can proudly say “Yes, I’m a Socialist. And if you weren’t an asshole, you would be too.”
And yes, I still use the term tea bagger. Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck.
Keu, The Talent
March 28, 2010 - 3:18 pm
You’re right, Pennie. Besides, regardless of whatever is being discussed in this post, nothing changes reality. People should be judged based on their actions, character and behavior. I guess that guy’s behavior is totally acceptable to some, but to me its freaking weird.
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 3:36 pm
Mike, I think that when a minority reclaims a word that was previously used by a ruling class to scapegoat, isolate and heap scorn upon–like “faggot” or “queer” and turn them mainstream–to terms of endearment among the populace, and people hear those words in a non-pejorative sense, we can change perception and turn it on itself.
Mike, we so both have the battle-won bruises to prove it. Marches and sit-ins and police actions and so many meetings…You’re so right, er, left. Real change is soooo hard to effect. But it starts with calling out people who continue to perpetrate outrages against humanity.
Laugh and go along with racist, homophobic, transphobic workplace jokes you KNOW inside aren’t right? Why not shame those who would continue a legacy of hatred. We both know the inherent value of grassroots action. It starts at home. And this is certainly home to some.
Finally, we so did have it right back then. I’ll never give it up.
Peace brother.
pennie
March 28, 2010 - 3:45 pm
Keu, when you stop hurling invective and wrong assumptions, we can have a dialogue instead of a fight. Undoubtedly, you know things I don’t. So when you tell me I’m wrong, it’s on me to listen instead of hurling back.
I will go to my death believing we are here to help and learn from each other. NOT castigate each other. I can get that most other places. I don’t need to come to this room for that.
An idiot is an idiot. I don’t condone stupidity or rudeness. The person in your column has issues. What they have to do with pedophilia or mass is beyond me. I’ve been witness to boatloads of “weird behavior” in my life. I try to not judge what I may not fully understand. I try to learn about it.
Making fun of trans-people is truly a no-brainer. You should try to be better than that.
Mean people suck. Period.
Rodney King
March 29, 2010 - 3:50 pm
Can’t we all just get along?
MOTU
March 29, 2010 - 3:51 pm
Yeah, what he said.
LAPD
March 29, 2010 - 4:01 pm
“You talkin’ to me??”
pennie
March 29, 2010 - 4:38 pm
@ Rodney and MOTU: “Can’t we all just get along?”
My point exactly!
That live and let live thing without judging…
Mike Gold
March 29, 2010 - 5:23 pm
I forget. Is Rodney related to Stephen or to Larry?
Reg
March 29, 2010 - 7:22 pm
Alan.
Alan Coil
March 29, 2010 - 8:17 pm
Billie Jean.
And was it Martina Navratilova who originally sang:
“Billie Jean is not my lover.”
Mike Gold
March 30, 2010 - 8:02 am
Alan and Rodney King. There’s a movie in that.
Reg
March 30, 2010 - 9:43 am
😀