The Ghetto Curse, by Q. Reyes – Artistic Warfare #64
April 5, 2010 Q. Reyes 12 Comments
They say that you can take a man out of the ghetto but you can’t take the ghetto out of a man. I disagree and agree at the same time. I’ve lived the recent part of my life as far from “ghetto situations” as possible. But sometimes it’s not enough.
I’m here. In my house. Peaceful. When my ex shows up knocking at my door. I have no idea how she found out where I live, but she was there. I saw her right through the peephole.
My girlfriend is in the bathroom getting ready. We were supposed to got watch Alice in Wonderland.
So I called my ex and tell her to bounce. I’m with my girlfriend. This isn’t cool.
My girlfriend realizes that someone is at the door and she has a good idea of who she is. They start going at it (verbally) through the door. I’m in the middle.
My girlfriend wants to go outside, my ex wants to come inside. This is getting ghetto now. My neighbors used to think I was this quiet dude just working and doing my own thing. Now my business is being broadcast through a door.
Arguments are getting heated. I have no idea of what to do.
I tried to live my life in a way – AWAY from all of this. No one knows where I live for a reason. I’m not sure how my ex found my address and where I live, but it’s not a good feeling.
Needless to say that I’m writing this article asking for advice. How do you get rid of someone that doesn’t want to get rid of? I got problems. I think there’s a ghetto curse out there and no matter how much you try, ghettoness will always find you. Help!
Martha Thomases
April 5, 2010 - 6:54 am
Don’t call your ex-girlfriend. No matter how much she’s pounding on your door, ignore her. Drama queens can’t pitch a fit if you don’t provide the drama for them.
Also, better taste in women helps. Hope your current girlfriend sees herself as above all this.
Reg
April 5, 2010 - 9:07 am
@ Martha…words of wisdom from the wise.
@ Q…I only know you through your electronic column, but if you’re really serious about elevating your life then you’ve got to be ruthless with yourself about cutting the ties that bind you to the negative. That’s not to say that you forget or disrespect the environs where you were shaped…as you’re well aware of the many examples of incredible strength, resiliency, and dignity that can be found in the ghetto… but there’s plenty of stoopid stuff there as well.
So yeah…you’ve got to look inside and see if there’s any part of you that smiled inside and said “Heh. I put it on Mami good. Baby girl had to track big Papi down!” Now if that’s the case…part of the problem is you…and you’re not serious enough yet about getting free.
But if you are serious, then I only add this small caveat to Martha’s good counsel… I would say that in this case you should text your ex and let her know…”I’m sorry that our thing didn’t work out, and for any hurt that I caused you, but IT IS OVER. I wish you well in life but there will be NO MORE calls or texts between us. DO NOT COME TO MY HOME AGAIN.”
That’s a clear, direct message that should allow her to retain her dignity and allow you to be able to not have to duck her should you see her at clubs or parties.
Now if she shows up at your home after that…. Call the po po. 😀
Alan Coil
April 5, 2010 - 9:17 am
“How do you get rid of someone that doesn’t want to get rid of?”
Tony Soprano.
Martha Thomases
April 5, 2010 - 11:03 am
I think there may be a deeper problem here. Q, do you like it when girls fight over you? Is that your idea of fun? Do you like your life to sound like the Maury show?
If not, perhaps you should consider different people with whom to fall in love.
MOTU
April 5, 2010 - 12:00 pm
I’ve had TWO stalkers in my life. Both were wonderful people until they were not.
I tried the ‘let’s talk about it’ route.
Didn’t work.
I tried the ‘ argue until you see my point clearly’ route.
Didn’t work.
I tried the ‘ call the police and have you arrested ‘ route.
Worked.
Reg
April 5, 2010 - 12:13 pm
“Here endeth the lesson.”
Keu, The Talent
April 6, 2010 - 12:50 pm
I don’t like when girls fight over me… it actually makes me feel bad. I’ve been very clear with everyone involved about what the reality is. Some people don’t get it, though. Nothing I can do about that.
(PS – it seems that it doesn’t matter what I write about, but I’m always getting beat up in here. KEU – “I have cancer” EVERYONE – “That’s because you’re dumb!”). I love it.
MOTU
April 6, 2010 - 2:50 pm
Keu said:
“(PS – it seems that it doesn’t matter what I write about, but I’m always getting beat up in here. KEU – “I have cancer” EVERYONE – “That’s because you’re dumb!”). I love it.”
LOL!!!!!
MOTU
April 6, 2010 - 2:50 pm
…and it’s your damn fault.
Mike Gold
April 6, 2010 - 3:51 pm
Martha’s advice is solid, except for the “better taste” part. Ya jus’ never know…
It’s better to have loved and lost… AS LONG AS YOU’VE GOT A BACK DOOR TO YOUR APARTMENT!!!
Martha Thomases
April 7, 2010 - 5:55 am
@Keu: It’s not a question of “it’s always my fault,” but a question of how much control you have over your own life. I only have control over what I do. Therefore, if things aren’t going the way I want them to go, the only way I can change things is to change myself.
Believe me, you don’t want to know the drama that led up to this realization.
mike weber
April 8, 2010 - 8:04 pm
“How do you get rid of someone that doesn’t want to get rid of?”
911 is good.