Hey, what about me? What about my needs?, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #167
May 14, 2010 Michael Davis 18 Comments
This shitty Arizona law requiring people to prove they are American citizens is really starting to bother me. I know it’s racist and un-American on so many different levels but this is really messing with my Mack Daddy vibe. Look I care about what happens to people but what I really give a darn about is…me.
I mean let me be real, what about me? What about my needs?
The Arizona law is CLEARLY racial profiling. I mean even Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles can see that. Hell, Ray Charles can see it from wherever he is now. Again, what about me? What about my needs?
You may ask yourself, MOTU ( that means Master Of The Universe if you are new to this site. That’s me, Master Of The Universe or MOTU) like I said, you may ask yourself, MOTU ( after you shield your eyes from the bright light that is, well that is me) MOTU, what does the racial profiling racist Arizona law have to do with you?
What does it have to do with me?
I’ll tell you what it has to do with me, I don’t want to be shot. Why would I be shot?
Tatiana and Sonia.
We all know the lovely and late as black people on her weekly column Tatiana. What you may not know is Tatiana is half Mexican and half Middle Eastern. You know what that means? That means she will never get a cab in New York City. That and she is a wet back terrorist in the eyes of Arizona. Sonia is Latino and if looks were money she would be one of the worlds richest woman.
Once again you may ask yourself, “MOTU what does Tatiana and Sonia have to do with the Arizona law and you?”
I’ll tell you; I was hanging out with Tatiana and Sonia at another performance by Jasmine the other day when I realized that if we were in Arizona the cops could walk in and ask both Tatiana and Sonia for proof of American citizenship.
Yet again you may ask yourself, “MOTU what does Tatiana and Sonia have to do with the Arizona law and you?”
Because being me I would have said ( after placing my hands on the table in clear view of the officers so they would not think I was reaching for my gat) with my hands in clear view I would have said in a meek and respectable voice; “ Officer, what seems to me the problem?”
Regardless of my meek and respectable voice and my hands on the table I would be shot. Black man cannot question the cops without being shot…it’s the law, look it up.
Really.
Being shot would be a real problem for me so this Arizona law really has the potential to ruin my day. I mean how can I be a Mack Daddy and MOTU if I’ve got a bullet in my head?
DUH.
So Arizona, you really need to repeal this law. Not because it’s racist and un-American but because it may fuck up MY day.
What about me? What about my needs?
Martha Thomases
May 14, 2010 - 6:27 am
Tatiana will be able to get a cab in New York. Hotness trumps ethnicity.
Vinnie Bartilucci
May 14, 2010 - 6:43 am
The main problem I had with the Arizona law as it was first drafted is the rather broad expansion of the power of the police it provided. Police would be able to walk up to anyone or pull anyone over with no evidence per se, just a general vibe that this person was an illegal alien. Technically, they could do so if they had ANY suspicion that you were engaged in an illegal activity, or just plain Up To Something. THAT was scary, and far more a big deal than whether or not they could hassle some Mexicans, because it meant they could (probably wouldn’t, I’ll agree, but COULD) just walk up to anyone.
But here’s the thing – they took that bit out.
Now you have to be stopped for an actual reason (like robbing a bank or a traffic infraction) before they can ask you to present ID and run a check on you.
In other words, like everyplace else in the country.
The law serves mainly to Make A Point. It’s a zetz (technically an “uutz” but I’m not sure how to spell it) to the government for not doing more to protect. It’s a protest that the government should enforce the laws already on the books…by passing a law that’s effectively a duplicate of one on the books. They knew damn well it was going to start s shitstorm, and they were ready for it.
But here’s the thing; there’s a LOT of Americans who AGREE with the law, or at least think they do. They think people should some into the country legally (not aware of how complex and possibly frightening it is) and resent the ones who “took the easy road” (again, not really grasping how arduous that road is).
But again, the binary mindset in this country means if you think immigration laws are at all good, then you’re in favor of building a wall and shooting the wetbacks on sight. That’s the kind of position that gets you on television. And people like being on television.
MOTU
May 14, 2010 - 7:35 am
Vinnie,
As always your points are well written and insightful. But I ask you, what about me? What about my needs?
MOTU
May 14, 2010 - 7:39 am
Martha said,
“Tatiana will be able to get a cab in New York. Hotness trumps ethnicity.”
True and we all know Tatiana is hot, however after the scarlet letter the Arizona place on her head that hotness will become a crime to pick up. It’s true, look it up…really.
All that hotness aside, what about me? What about my needs?
Paul1963
May 14, 2010 - 8:03 am
I think the law is ill-conceived and will absolutely lead to racial profiling.
And then it will lead to a giant lawsuit against the state of Arizona when Dr. Gonzalez or Reverend Diaz or civil lawyer de la Cruz gets pulled over and made to prove he’s a citizen one time too many.
And boy oh boy, just wait until a Hispanic city councilman or state legislator gets rousted…
Marc Fishman
May 14, 2010 - 9:03 am
As far as YOU and YOUR needs MOTU… I can help you out. Next time you’re driving through Arizona, give me a call. I’ll meet you at the border (It’s not like I have a job anyways) … and I’ll drive you through the state. You see, white cops won’t shoot black men who are driven by white guys. They assume you’re either a sports star or famous rapper.
If we do get pulled over, I can use my secret white guy decoder ring to prove you’re cool.
Does that help you out?
Vinnie Bartilucci
May 14, 2010 - 9:59 am
“what about me? What about my needs?”
As far as I know, the law does not affect Asian women.
Does that help?
MOTU
May 14, 2010 - 1:37 pm
Paul,
All true all true my friend. However, what about me? What about my needs?
MOTU
May 14, 2010 - 1:41 pm
Mark said,
“…Next time you’re driving through Arizona…”
I do appreciate you considering my needs bur me driving through Arizona is as likely as me driving through Mississippi while yelling, “Where the white women at!”
Not going to happen.
MOTU
May 14, 2010 - 1:47 pm
Vinnie said;
“As far as I know, the law does not affect Asian women.”
Good point and like Mark’s comment I do appreciate you considering my needs, BUT ( not BUR as written in my Mark reply. Sorry, public school ) there are some Latino women who look Asian and vice versa so there in is the possibility of another way to mess up my day.
Marc Fishman
May 14, 2010 - 3:29 pm
So you complain about you and your needs… we provide a solution, and then you misspell our names, and then say you won’t even drive through AZ in the first place…. MUTO… why play with us like this?
MOTU
May 14, 2010 - 4:02 pm
MarC,
I misspelled your names because I went to public school…duh.
Marc Fishman
May 14, 2010 - 4:16 pm
So did I! And I spel just phine too. Ands I no good grammer as wel! Duh.
MOTU
May 15, 2010 - 7:18 am
Yeah Marc, we both went to public school but you went to class.
Mike Gold
May 15, 2010 - 12:23 pm
Marc has class?
Well, he does in his choice of brides…
pennie
May 15, 2010 - 3:34 pm
Master of the Universe, just buy Arizona. Or send BP in.
MOTU
May 15, 2010 - 4:06 pm
Pennie,
I’d buy Arizona but they only take confederate money. BP is to clean for them.
pennie
May 15, 2010 - 4:37 pm
MOTU: In Arizona, BP might take this capping thing to different level.
I think you’re right about that confederate $. The new Arizona state coin is a plugged nickel with Jeff Davis on one side and a juiced cattle prod on the other under the legend, “In Prod We Trust.”