Gift of a Friend, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise

November 27, 2010 Martha Thomases 15 Comments

This was the week I was going to be funny. I was going to riff on current events, and then get sentimental, just in time for Thanksgiving weekend.

Except then, my friend died.

When I met Norris, in December 1977, I never thought we would be friends. She was spectacularly beautiful. She was tall, thin (even though she was five months pregnant), with perfect skin and high cheekbones, and I felt like we were acting out “Mutt and Jeff” when I stood next to her. What would she need with me? But she was so outgoing and generous and funny that we soon became pals. We’d go shopping together, and I’d bring comics to her kids. I taught her youngest to say, “Incredible Hulk” when he wasn’t even two years old. She had the biggest Barbie collection you could possibly imagine.

When my child was born, she brought him a present, a quilt she purchased on a trip to Russia. It was typical of her kindness that she thought of him when she was halfway around the world.

A few years after that, when I was creating Dakota North for Marvel with Tony Salmons and Larry Hama, I needed to describe a glamorous person. I used Norris as my model. As you can see by the photograph with this column, she certainly looks the part.

So this dumpy Jewish girl from Ohio was friends with the Southern-born beauty queen who married my mother’s favorite author. This (and many of my other friendships) keep life interesting.

Friends die, at least, friends who are not imaginary. It’s part of the price we pay for being human. I suppose we could spare ourselves the pain by not making friends, but that seems severe. I find other humans to be endlessly enthralling even (maybe especially) the ones with whom I seem to have so little in common. The laughter, the tears, the long conversations feed the relationships, but it’s the steady diet of new ideas, from different points of view, that feed my soul.

I don’t have to tell people who read this site about how many wonderful souls we’ve lost this year. We are a social group, and we are lucky to be so. I’m not a religious person, and I’m not sure that I believe in God. However, I do know that I’m grateful I get to know the people I get to know, and I guess that gratitude is directed towards something, even if it’s just serendipity.

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, hopes you are all enjoying your families and friends this weekend, instead of fighting crowds at the mall.