Don’t You Forget About Me, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise

January 1, 2011 Martha Thomases 1 Comment

This has not been a great week.  I’ve spent almost all my time sitting by my father’s hospital bed, explaining to the medical team that I’m his daughter, not his wife.

My hope that I would be the hot babe at the independent living facility where he lives turned to ashes, because many residents’ grandchildren are here for the holiday.  On the other hand, parking is in such high demand that I’ve had to parallel park nearly every day, just like I did at 16, training for my license.

I do almost nothing, and get home exhausted.  I can’t focus on the work I’m supposed to be finishing up with 2010. Who knew that sitting in a chair, kitting or reading vampire stories, could tire one out so completely?

My father’s friends kindly ask me to dinner, and I feel like horrible company.  I wish there was a way to give them credit for their compassion without inflicting myself upon them.  I am the Crabby Appleton, the bad guy in the Tom Terrific cartoon series.

At least we’re laughing,

This is the joke my father told me before he went into surgery:

There were these two Siamese twins, Sophie and Sadie, and they were dating a guy named Joe.  You’d think this would cause problems, but it didn’t.  While Joe was making love to Sophie, Sadie would play the flute, then the fiddle, then castanets.  When he was finished with Sophie, Joe would make love to Sadie, and Sophie would play the piano, then the tuba, and then the spoons.

This went on for a few months, and everyone was happy with the arrangement.  But then Joe got transfered to Denver.

A few years go by, and the sisters have to fly to California.  It’s an uneventful flight until they hit a storm, and have to make an emergency landing in, of all places, Denver.  The storm means they’ll have to stay overnight.

Sophie says, “As long as we’re here, do you think we should call Joe and see if he wants to get together?”

“Gee, that would be swell, “Sadie says, “Do you think he’ll remember us?”

Martha Thomases hopes to feel like a goddess again next week, and wishes the same for you all in the new year.