Waiter, There’s A Gun In My Soup!, by Michael Davis – Straight, No Chaser #204
February 4, 2011 Michael Davis 12 Comments
Tatiana and Martha Thomases wrote two of the most popular columns on MDW. Tatiana’s piece was about of all things, soup. Martha’s column was about Guns.
So…
The waiter looked at the tall incredibly handsome black man. “What will you have?” He asked while wondering if the tall incredibly handsome black man was also Gay like he was. “I’ll have soup.” was the reply from the tall and incredibly handsome black man.
“You are a tall and incredibly handsome black man.” The waiter said not being able to suppress his desire for the tall and incredibly handsome black man.
“Yes. Yes I am.”
“May I ask you a personal question?”
“Sure.”
“Are you Gay?”
“Are you?”
“Yes.”
“I may be Gay it depends.”
“Depends on what?”
“On whether my soup is free or not.”
“If your soup is free, does that mean you are Gay?”
“Gay as you can get.”
“And if your soup is not free?”
“Straight as a line drawn with a ruler.”
“Well your soup is on me.”
“Fabulous!!!”
“You really love soup, don’t you?”
“Oh Hell Yeah!”
“What else do you love?”
The tall and incredibly handsome black man thought about this question. He loved soup so much he would make love to a man to get a free bowl. He DID have another love but in this political correct society did he dare reveal it?
“Guns.”
“Pardon?”
“Guns. I love guns.” The tall and incredibly handsome black man said to the waiter. Had he gone to far? Had his love of soup crossed the line? “DAMN IT!” He thought. “I could have had a free bowl of soup and some possible Gay sex but now this guy will most likely call the cops.” His thoughts got the better of him. He started to leave when the waiter brought over his order. “Where are you going? Here’s your free soup.”
Free soup? Damn it, DAMN IT!! He could not pass up free soup regardless if he thought the waiter had called the cops on him because he mentioned a gun. The tall and incredibly handsome black man was carrying a gun (he always did) but instead of leaving before the cops arrived he HAD to eat the soup…it was free.
IT WAS FREE SOUP!!!!!
The tall and incredibly handsome black man sat back down at the table. The waiter lifted the silver lid to reveal the entree. There before him was the soup and in the soup was a gun.
With tears in his eyes, the tall and incredibly handsome black man smiled and then said;” Waiter, there’s a gun in my soup.”
“Enjoy.” Said the waiter. “Enjoy.”
Let the comments begin!
pennie
February 8, 2011 - 5:45 pm
MOTU,
Some say I’m not playing with a full deck. That I have only
51
pennie
February 8, 2011 - 5:46 pm
I say phoooie I not only have
52
pennie
February 8, 2011 - 5:47 pm
But there’s also one hell of a joker making my deck
53
pennie
February 8, 2011 - 5:52 pm
Just thinking, this may be a first. A site’s owner spamming himself while encouraging others to participate. Sort of like a circle jerk…
54
MOTU
February 8, 2011 - 8:23 pm
Pennie,
This is NOT spam.
55
MOTU
February 8, 2011 - 8:23 pm
It’s ego.
56
McCarthy
February 8, 2011 - 8:29 pm
Meanwhile, I’m like neck and neck with The Point Radio for fewest comments left.
Heinz
MOTU
February 8, 2011 - 9:44 pm
McCarthy,
You art NEEDS no comments dude. Now if you would write a column for MDW…
HINT!!!!
MOTU
February 8, 2011 - 9:45 pm
59
R. Maheras
February 9, 2011 - 9:03 am
What the heck… 60
R. Maheras
February 9, 2011 - 10:09 am
Tall and incredibly handsome black man: “Waiter! Waiter! There’s a gun in my soup!”
Waiter: “Shhhh! Not so loud, sir, or everyone will want one!”
61
R. Maheras
February 9, 2011 - 10:11 am
Note: It’s obvious the above exchange could not have taken place in Chicago.
62
R. Maheras
February 9, 2011 - 10:13 am
Tall and incredibly handsome black man: “Waiter! Waiter! What’s this gun doing in my soup?”
Waiter: “I think it’s doing the backstroke!”
63
R. Maheras
February 9, 2011 - 10:13 am
(With apologies to pennie) “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m…”
64
MOTU
February 9, 2011 - 12:55 pm
L
65
MOTU
February 9, 2011 - 12:56 pm
O
66
MOTU
February 9, 2011 - 12:56 pm
L !!
67
pennie
February 9, 2011 - 4:33 pm
R: Tall and incredibly handsome black man: “Waiter! Waiter! What’s this gun doing in my soup?”
Waiter: “I think it’s doing the backstroke!”
Better that than the breast stroke…
68
pennie
February 9, 2011 - 4:33 pm
And this is OH SO fitting that I get to do
69
pennie
February 9, 2011 - 4:37 pm
MOTU: Now, do I get to have a cigarette?
Damn, I forgot I don’t smoke.
Seventy…(far more boring than the previous)…
R. Maheras
February 9, 2011 - 4:41 pm
Did we set the record yet?
71
MOTU
February 9, 2011 - 11:04 pm
R,
I THINK so!
72
MOTU
February 9, 2011 - 11:06 pm
Pennie,
69 is my favorite number!
73