Gay Cure Banned! by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #215
March 28, 2011 Mike Gold 32 Comments
If you think you can cure your buddy’s homosexuality with an iPhone app, you are now out of luck.
You’ve heard about the zealots who say they can cure the disease of gayness by indoctrinating the miscreant in the ways of their religion. The Christian groups get the most coverage, as in this case, but virtually all religious philosophies have proselytizers that engage in these sort of activities.
Overall, these beings have been a lot less successful than those who cure their sexuality with heroin. As Karl Marx famously said in response to the writings of fellow philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel’s Philosophy of Right, “Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, just as it is the spirit of a spiritless situation. It is the opium of the people.” Indeed, opium might be safer: people “cured” of their homosexuality by religious lunatics are eight times more likely to commit suicide. Which, I believe, is also considered a sin in certain faiths.
In order to facilitate their endeavors, Exodus International created an app that helps them do their conversion from the godless blight of homosexuality thing. Their mission, which appears at the very top of their online policy statement, is, and I quote without edit, “a Christian organization dedicated to equipping and uniting agencies and individuals to effectively communicate the message of freedom from homosexuality.”
Apple Inc. approved the app and put it online. Word got out and people started to complain. A whole lot of people. By the time 85,000 signed a petition calling it “hateful and bigoted,” Apple removed it from their store. More than 150,000 have signed the petition as of this writing.
Now I can complain about Apple’s role as gatekeeper – they have complete control over what apps are allowed, they’ve shot down some good stuff, and their policy towards online publications is ludicrous and possibly self-defeating. But just as the First Amendment does not obligate a Christian bookstore to carry Hustler magazine, the First Amendment does not obligate Apple to carry an app that so many of their customers have found to be so hateful and bigoted. It’s Apple’s business choice, and people who support these dangerous conversion tactics can go out and buy a BlackBerry – although I could not find the Exodus International app on their “App World” either.
If you think homosexuality is something that could be cured and should be cured by prayer, well then, be my guest and start praying. You probably have the time, now that you’re back from picketing Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral.
The rest of us will continue using our Smartphones and our Tablets to do what we can to get through the day and maybe leave a bit of time for actually helping humanity instead of planting the apps of hate.
While performing his weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock and blather radio show on The Point (www.getthepointradio.com) every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, replayed three times during the week (check the website above for times), and doing his Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind political and cultural rants each and every damn day at the same venue, www.comicmix.com editor-in-chief Mike Gold dons a black bed sheet and mask and burns upside-down Mogein Dovids on Christian lawns. You’ll have to take my word for it; those stars really are upside down. Honest.
pennie
March 28, 2011 - 5:20 pm
Thanks Mike.
For those in this advanced age who still cling to the notion that one’s sexual and romantic attractions are a lifestyle choice, well, as you wrote above, “If you think homosexuality is something that could be cured and should be cured by prayer, well then, be my guest and start praying.”
I would question back, “Can your attraction to the “opposite sex” be cured?”
Cured by an app?
Seriously?
The “Ex-gay” (bowel) movement has been around for a while. In earlier times, electroshock therapy was the app of the day. Yeah, that worked just as well as the modern version. It just left a lot more damaged souls.
There was also the accompanying chemical braintrashing.
One could commit one’s relatives on a say-so to well-meaning hospitals where they would enter depraved homos and post-cure have them emerge as soulless robots. Great conversation pieces at family confabs.
For anyone who truly believes that one fine day, one wakes up queer desiring sex with another who has matching tender bits, well, Mike said it well above, “You probably have the time, now that you’re back from picketing Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral.”
How could Apple, so well-versed in Marketing initiatives, alienate so many loyal supporters?
Thanks for picking up on this stone cold stupidity Mike.
Mike Gold
March 28, 2011 - 7:43 pm
To be fair, Pennie, the story was first brought to my attention by my daughter, Adriane Nash, as we were driving back from the Super Stop & Shop.
That last bit is not relevant to anything at all.
Steven Atkins
March 28, 2011 - 10:29 pm
@ Mike
I didn’t pay any attention to Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral. Did they actually picket or were you being sarcastic?
MOTU
March 28, 2011 - 11:12 pm
When I was around 6 I tried to pry away being black. Then, when I was around 7 I felt like a freakin idiot for that prayer.
Now at 21 (WHAT???) I don’t pray for anything except friends who may need it. However, I do WISH for things, like an electric current to the ASS of every idiot that would buy an app like that.
ZAP!!!!!
FABULOUS!!!
Doug Abramson
March 29, 2011 - 2:28 am
MOTU,
21 to what power? 🙂
Doug Abramson
March 29, 2011 - 2:52 am
Off topic, but here’s another example of “religious” people going out of their way to be anti-gay:
(NEWSER) – An association of Catholic bishops is battling a pending regulation that would ban discrimination against anyone based on “sexual orientation or gender identity” in federally funded housing projects. The rules would force some religious groups to compromise their beliefs or quit the housing programs, argued lawyers for the US Conference of Catholic Bishops. “Faith-based organizations should retain the freedom they have always had to make housing placements in a manner consistent with their religious beliefs,” said a statement from the lawyers.
Gay discrimination in the housing market is a major problem, and as many as one in five transgender individuals are homeless because of housing discrimination, according to recent findings that concern HUD officials. “In considering the mounting evidence of violence and discrimination against LGBT persons, the department is concerned that its own programs may not be fully open to LGBT individuals and families,” HUD said in a statement earlier this year. The Catholic church collects millions in public dollars for building and operating federally funded housing across the nation.
If you don’t like it, don’t take federal money, Simple.
Mike Gold
March 29, 2011 - 6:37 am
Steve — They said they were going to picket, but for some odd reason they were unfamiliar with the Jewish tradition of burying your dead while they are still warm (hey, if you were wandering the desert for a generation, you’d do the same). So she was shoved into her crypt near Michael Jackson (no shit) at Forest Lawn while the zealots were still in line for their Greyhound tickets.
Maybe they’ll picket the memorial.
Sarcastic? Me? C’mon.
Mike Gold
March 29, 2011 - 6:39 am
MOTU, it’s amazing (well, sadly, it’s not amazing at all) how many of my black friends have told me they’d gone through much the same thing when they were little — praying away the black, washing away the black, whatever. I’ve heard this dozens of times.
Man, how can we fuck up KIDS so badly that they feel this way?
Martha Thomases
March 29, 2011 - 7:19 am
Have you seen the Chris Rock documentary, GOOD HAIR? It will break your heart.
Mike Gold
March 29, 2011 - 7:34 am
Haven’t seen it, but generally speaking I’d watch Chris Rock recite Jabberwocky in Pig Latin.
Again.
Vinnie Bartilucci
March 29, 2011 - 9:26 am
“If you think you can cure your buddy’s homosexuality with an iPhone app, you are now out of luck.”
You would also be an incredible boob.
Good Hair is an amazing piece of work, at once hilarious and tragic. Hearing women proudly declare their hair is “100% human” is a pleasure all on its own. Of course, you could make the same documentary about the weight loss industry, self-help, fashion, etc.
I often curse my few scruples; without them I’d be a wealthy man by now.
MOTU
March 29, 2011 - 12:28 pm
Mike wrote,
“… gone through much the same thing when they were little — praying away the black, washing away the black, whatever…”
That usually happens after some event when you realize that being black is a problem to someone or something.
My -Ah HA!-moment came when I was in a toy store and grabbed the last GI Joe off the shelf-when my mother went to pay for it the cashier rung it up and handed to a white woman who was on line with her kid.
We were told that the GI Joe was on hold for the white woman but even at 6 I knew that was bullshit because everyone knew that in the age of ‘lay a way’ you keep those items OFF the shelf.
I never knew what my mother said to the cashier because I was told to ‘wait in the car’ but I’m sure it was hardcore. My mom then spent the rest of her afternoon off ( which were rare) looking for another GI Joe for me.
It took me a while to get over the ‘because I’m black’ thing, which is what my sister told me later that day was the real reason I lost out on the Joe.
Vinnie Bartilucci
March 29, 2011 - 12:36 pm
In case anyone ever asks you why you collect Joes, I hope you tell them that story. They’ll assume you’re not reclaiming your childhood, you’re reclaiming your racial pride. That’s a hell of a more believable explanation than “It’s fun to do”, and likely shuts them up fast.
I’m more amazed about the part where your mom told you to go to the car, BY YOURSELF and wait, BY YOURSELF. Today, that kind of callous uncaring action will get your kids taken away from you.
Kids are losing out on the fun of having Mom or Dad come back to the car, turn it on, and having the wipers go off and the radio play at full blast.
MOTU
March 29, 2011 - 1:33 pm
Vinnie,
My sister and I spent many an hour waiting in the car and you are so right there was a bit of magic when my mother or step-dad finally got in and off we went.
Nowadays-kids waiting in the car = a child abuse charge.
pennie
March 29, 2011 - 2:00 pm
MOTU, all of your points are so well taken. You can “cure” who you are inside as well as outside.
Curing your innate attractions are as successful as changing your skin color
The ex-gay movement is flushed with, er, not success, they are just flushed. As Mike wrote, “people “cured” of their homosexuality by religious lunatics are eight times more likely to commit suicide”
How many tragedies stem from this gross waste of human life trying to get people deny their true natures? Works as well as re or su-ppressing any basic human desires. Just like that Prohibition thing that worked out so well.
(Leaving myself wide open here–feel free…) Have you ever heard of an ex-black movement?
The Republican party?
Unlike your mother, MOTU, it is a rare parent in the past who would defend their children’s queerness. These days, it is happening more and more.
Mine sent me to shrinks at age 5. I never got tall so it must have worked.
Mike, please thank Adriane for me.
Mike Gold
March 29, 2011 - 2:17 pm
Doug, that seemed right on topic to me.
pennie
March 29, 2011 - 2:35 pm
Doug, here’s some stats from a 2011 national study–the largest and widest ever performed: rather than just the link (provided below the quotes), here’s the meat and potatoes:
“The study, “Injustice at Every Turn,” released Friday by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE), is the first large-scale national study of discrimination against transgender and gender non-conforming Americans, and paints a more complete picture than any prior research to date:
The study was based on the results from the National Transgender Discrimination Survey (NTDS), which received responses from over 6,450 participants.
Among the key findings from “Injustice at Every Turn”:
Respondents were nearly four times more likely to live in extreme poverty, with household income of less than $10,000.
Respondents were twice as likely to be unemployed compared to the population as a whole. Half of those surveyed reported experiencing harassment or other mistreatment in the workplace, and one in four were fired because of their gender identity or expression.
While discrimination was pervasive for the entire sample, it was particularly pronounced for people of color. African-American transgender respondents fared far worse than all others in many areas studied.
Housing discrimination was also common. 19% reported being refused a home or apartment and 11% reported being evicted because of their gender identity or expression. One in five respondents experienced homelessness because of their gender identity or expression.
An astonishing 41% of respondents reported attempting suicide, compared to only 1.6% of the general population.
Discrimination in health care and poor health outcomes were frequently experienced by respondents. 19% reported being refused care due to bias against transgender or gender-nonconforming people, with this figure even higher for respondents of color. Respondents also had over four times the national average of HIV infection.
Harassment by law enforcement was reported by 22% of respondents and nearly half were uncomfortable seeking police assistance.
Despite the hardships they often face, transgender and gender non-conforming persons persevere. Over 78% reported feeling more comfortable at work and their performance improving after transitioning, despite the same levels of harassment in the workplace.”
http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2011/02/study-reveals-widespread-discrimination-against-transgender-people/
and from npr:
http://www.npr.org/2011/03/28/134926352/Study-Discrimination-Takes-A-Toll-On-Transgendered-Americans
pennie
March 29, 2011 - 2:35 pm
I await moderation…
Mike Gold
March 29, 2011 - 4:00 pm
Pennie, I can vaguely understand the black Republicans — I mean, if your family finally clawed their way up to upper middle class, you, as the one who inherits the fruits of their labor, might want to do everything you can to screw the rabble from which your family came so you can avoid real work, just like those rich white stipendiaries.
It’s the Log Cabin Republicans that I don’t get on any level. I’ve discussed this with a couple members of the organization maybe two years ago, and they talked a lot about individual freedom. I replied the Republican Party hasn’t been into that for about 20 years. “Yes, but we can help it change.”
And good luck with that, pal. Separating the current Republican party from both the religious right and the tea baggers is a lot like separating a meth junkie from his shit: it can be done, but you’ll get a hell of a bloody fight and then he’ll go find twice as much.
pennie
March 29, 2011 - 4:51 pm
Mike, I agree. Log Cabin Republicans? Black Dixiecrats? Ethiopians for Mussolini? Tibetans and Nepalese for Chinese rule?
Not much sense there.
I’ve never understood the log people. Don’t see too many girls there though. Maybe it’s a guy thing. Maybe they just have a deep-seated need to belong to something. Even if that thing strives to defeat their very right to live in peace. Seems to me they are doomed to be at loggerheads. With themselves…
Mike Gold
March 29, 2011 - 7:13 pm
Republican men dress better than Democratic men. Oddly, the reverse is true when it comes to women. I strictly speaking “dressing” here. They’re ALL ugly.
But if you need to tell ’em apart (although Crom knows why), guess their gender and then look how they are dressed.
I think both parties should forget about Congress and take up hockey.
MOTU
March 29, 2011 - 11:08 pm
Republican men look like they belong to a cult named Men’s Warehouse.
You’re going to like the way we tell you how to live. We guarantee it,”
Bill Mulligan
March 30, 2011 - 5:40 am
I think some of the attitudes on display here are a clue as to why some people might choose to be Republicans.
having partaken of both sides I can safely say that my liberal/gay/minority friends were treated with much more courtesy and respect when in the presence of my conservative friends than when my conservative friends found themselves outnumbered at a social gathering by my liberal friends.
Of course, I can’t know what’s in someone’s heart, maybe the conservatives were just less likely to act like douchbags because they knew they’d be called on it, while many liberals are comfortable with their own sneering condescension, or at least comforted by the idea that they can safely express it without much fear of being told they are acting like tools.
Anyway, maybe that part of the reason. Some folks respond to peer pressure compliantly, others not so much.
But here’s a suggestion on how to solve the Mystery Of The Gay Republicans, Scoob; ask one. If you don’t know any…well, maybe that’s the problem.
Personally, I find the tendency to proscribe the worst possible motives to people whose only crime is that they have come to a different conclusion on how best to solve our problems to be distressing. Even more so when it comes from otherwise mature thinkers.
Vinnie Bartilucci
March 30, 2011 - 6:46 am
The main problem with either political party (and I guess people in general) is their insistence on dealing with social and personal issues as opposed to simply taking our money and providing us services, which what the government is for.
Republicans (ostensibly, traditionally, work with me here) are for less taxes and a smaller government. That’s a hard line to disagree with. They’re also in favor of making raped women have babies, keeping poo-poo words out off the television and keeping gays in the closet, if not out of the house entirely. That’s rather easy to argue. Democrats are just as anxious to restrict freedoms, just on the opposite end of the spectrum.
If both parties just worry about running the government and not running our lives, I think things would go much more smoothly.
Not a new idea, but there it is.
Mike Gold
March 30, 2011 - 6:56 am
MOTU, Republicans dress like lawyers on their way to a teevee pilot.
Mike Gold
March 30, 2011 - 11:19 am
Bill said “I think some of the attitudes on display here are a clue as to why some people might choose to be Republicans.” I’ve heard that before.
Really? People become Republicans not out of a sense of what’s best for this nation, or even out of a sense of what’s best for oneself, but out of childish petulance?? Really?
Well, that certainly explains a lot.
Bill Mulligan
March 30, 2011 - 12:49 pm
People choose their political affiliations in no small part based on the people they like and admire and hang out with. If–just to throw out a possible hypothetical example–they are at a college and find that their conservative friends argue about issues and their liberal friends mostly argue about how much better they are about conservatives and this hypothetical person is more interested in issues than being part of a mutual admiration society, well, they might end up belonging to the more conservative of the two parties.
Similarly, if one has bad experiences with conservatives and seeks out the company of those on the other side it would not at all surprise me to see that person become liberal. And I would not consider it childish petulance if they were to do so. But that’s just me. Like that hypothetical not at all based on any one I know college student it’s not all that critical for me to think badly of the other side. It certainly is no substitute for the heavy mental lifting of actually thinking things out…though it is a lot easier, granted.
And frankly, it’s lost its power. There is only one Harlan Ellison, watching others try his game is like watching a stand-up comedian follow George Carlin and use every dirty word he can think of. The internet has made us all pundits with that many pundits there aren’t too many new and creative ways to insult someone that we haven’t seen 100 times.
As for the liberal/conservative divide I’ll say it again–you will probably have a much better time being a liberal among educated conservatives than to be a conservative among educated liberals. No conservative I hang out with would be anything other than aghast if one of the others referred to a black liberal with a racial insult but I’ve watched people who were both minorities and more conservative than me get racially insulted right to their face by people who I would have thought would be the first to condemn such a thing. And none of the others said anything about it (Ok, some came up afterward and apologized for what had been said by the other people but while that’s something, it is no substitute for speaking up when it would matter).
MOTU
March 30, 2011 - 1:33 pm
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, I LOVE this forum.
pennie
March 30, 2011 - 5:13 pm
Bill wrote, “People choose their political affiliations in no small part based on the people they like and admire and hang out with.”
Really?
In retrospect, it seems my political affiliations chose me. In the mid-1960s when wild political developments were swirling, it was simple–I just didn’t agree with conservative viewpoints at all. There was no oxygen there.
Immediately identified with hippies, yippies, pranksters and diggers. I fell in with people with whom I already felt a kindred spirit. Had nothing to do with heroes and hangers.
Funny also. These days, I hang with people who espouse a full range of political beliefs. Far from a chameleon, I am treated well by all or I don’t hang. I am not known to be a quiet, unopinionated, unassuming wallflower.
I challenge your view Bill that I would be better treated by conservative Republicans. Been there, done that at times. More like, Stranger in a Strange Land.
Steve Atkins
March 30, 2011 - 5:42 pm
@ MOTU and Mike Gold –
How’s this for an ad?
NEW FROM APPLE!
Want to bring about the wrath of Old Time Religion without leaving your home, car, or office?
We have just the App for you!
The all-new iSmite! That’s right! iSmite will bring the wrath of the One, True God down upon any and everyone who doesn’t agree with YOU!
Just remember: When preaching and picketing just doesn’t cut it, pull out your iPhone4-5-6-7-8 (only the very latest model will have the small fragment from the Ark Of The Covenant required to make the app work) and use the iSmite app.
Glory given to Apple!
Bill Mulligan
March 30, 2011 - 7:25 pm
Pennie, I’m not necessarily saying you would be treated better by conservatives than liberals. I’m suggesting that, on average, my experience has been that otherwise decent liberals are more likely to behave intolerantly against conservatives in their midst than conservatives have been when the situation was reversed.
Obviously, your experiences and mileage may vary. I try very hard to make it clear that my views are my own, shaped by the unique experiences and influences I alone have had and any conclusions I make from that are still not applicable to all people of any particular persuasion. While most surveys show self identified liberals to be a decided minority in the country (20% vs 35% moderates and 42% conservatives) that’s still a huge number of people and only a fool would try to claim they all fit one profile.
Which is why I roll my eyes when people say “I just can’t imagine why someone would ever be a (insert incredibly common political view of your choice here)” They need to get out more, meet a few more people. Sounds like that’s exactly what you’ve done.
pennie
March 31, 2011 - 7:01 pm
Bill, I’ve lived in way too many of the lower 48 to cite. Been in many different locales, with many different kinds of people. I tend to elicit all sorts of reactions without trying just by being my cute, cuddly self. Always have.
You’re right. I don’t know many others who have gotten out more than I have. Or who are more out in every way. I find intolerant people come in all sorts of guises and identify many different ways.
But intolerance is just that.
I have no place for it in my life.