Love Shack…, By Whitney Farmer – Un Pop Culture

May 4, 2011 Whitney Farmer 9 Comments

Whitney runs a rock music venue on the beach in L.A.. She has an M.B.A, and a sunburn.

The full spectrum of love was in the global headlines this week, from a royal wedding in one land to being shot down while being a human shield in another.

The countries beyond Britain were exposed to the design concept of ‘fascinators’ which transform worshippers in church into birds of prey or sexual competitors while the potential last future king married for love. As their honeymoon began, in a dusty suburb of Islamabad a woman married to a murderer twice her age threw herself into the line of fire to thwart what might be described as holy justice. Mercifully, she was only wounded in the leg and may live long enough to realize regret.

“Anything for Love”, are statistically humanity’s most frequently uttered last words. And the self-sacrifice that compels the lovesick can lead to all forms of life-threatening moments. Health and wholeness are secondary considerations for someone in the clutches of passion. Unsafe sex and standing in the righteous path of bullets to protect the Beloved – no matter how unworthy – are different actions with identical intent. In many cultures, there is a glorification and an affirmation of blind love.   Listening to the radio during grindingly slow rush hour traffic should carry a warning akin to cigarettes and alcohol: Love songs are addictive and can lead to a variety of complications including the risk of premature death.

The French phrase for orgasm is ‘le petit mort’. It means the little death. It is an ironic truth that describes the creation of new life.  In its pursuit, people get stupid. More diplomatically, unwise. The most devastating but thankfully rarest mistakes I have ever made have happened in love.  The most brutal consequences I have ever sustained are when I chose to say yes when my answer should have been a no.

Today is a day that would have been a wedding anniversary for me. It’s a marriage that ended for all the right reasons, but I know the most important mistake that I made in the midst of it: When he wanted to travel in the wrong direction, I stood by his side instead of turning away from him, hoping that my presence could help him choose a different path. All that happened is that my actions at least delayed a wholesome divorce, but might even have kept him from experiencing the consequences of his actions. Maybe he would have changed his path if he woke up abandoned, but I know that I would at least have been less likely to be exposed to shrapnel as collateral damage to his choices. And I have lived long enough now to heal and have the wisdom that comes from regret.

It was written once generations ago, “There are four things too amazing for me to comprehend: the way of a hawk in the sky, the way of a snake on the rock, the way of a ship during a storm, and the way of a man with a woman.”  When I first read these words, they captured me. But it took me years to gain a sense of their meaning: Each of these is doing what it was created to do, what it was uniquely destined to be. But a hawk doesn’t live to soar, a snake move for the sake of being a snake, or a ship sail simply to enjoy the ride. All have a higher purpose, and in the midst of seeking that purpose they are marvelous. While romantic love can be delicious – like any appetite – it can lead to destruction if it is given preeminence as a reason for living. Men and women are built to be together, but the life that happens when we wake up the day after consummation is the Calling.

Quote of the Blog, from Ed, Dude of Light and Fog: “No, you can’t backcomb my hair to look like Snookie. It won’t fit under my hat.”