HELL HAS FROZEN OVER, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #220

June 3, 2011 Michael Davis 1 Comment

I was wrong about something.

See? Like the title says, HELL HAS FROZEN OVER.

I’ve been ordered to take it easy by a doctor (don’t ask) so I’ve been on house arrest for a while. I LOVE being inside but I was going STIR CRAZY so I decided to take a walk.

How much stress could that be?

I live fairly close to Collectors Paradise a great comic book store so off I went. My walk was pretty nice until a cop car going in the opposite direction made a U-turn and started to follow me.

You can’t make this up.

“Can we help you?”

“Nah-I know where I’m going.”

“Where’s that?”

I wanted to say, “ To the liquor store, then I was thinking about buying some crack and breaking into a couple of homes.”

I said, “I’m going to a comic book store.”

“Don’t you have a car?”

I wanted to say, “Several.”

I said, “Yes.”

“Where do you live?”

Now, I’m getting a bit pissed.  All I was doing was taking a walk. There was NO reason for them to stop me at 3 in the afternoon except the reason they WERE stopping me but would never admit too, I was a black guy walking in an upscale white neighborhood.

I wanted to say, “In a house neither you or your partner combined could ever afford.”

I said, “Around the corner I can show you my license to confirm that if you wish.”

Racist cops are always taken aback when black people use, if you wish, in a sentence. It makes them think, “Oh shit, did I just stop the wrong Negro? This one just used, if you wish, in a sentence! Only smart Negros like Oprah and Obama use that term! He may actually not be on parole!”

Without saying another word to me, they just drove off.

Must have been the, if you wish.

This sort of thing once made me CRAZY. If I were still that guy, you would be reading a fire and brimstone rant about how all L.A. cops, NO, all California cops, NO, all cops in America, NO, all cops the in the world are racist!

OK, I wasn’t that bad but this article would have been a bitch slap to cops in L.A. for sure.

For the rest of my walk I kept reminding myself that not all cops were those cops, and I really have to watch my blood pressure.

Then I reached the store and…time… stood…still.

A light from Heaven shined down on me and all at once I realized that I was right about cops not being all-bad and (here’s when HELL FROZE OVER) I was wrong about DC Comics!

Yes, this is Michael Davis.

No, no one hacked my account.

Yes, that is a photo of my underwear and HELL yes I did send that email to her…she was Asian.

DC Comics is my favorite comic book company. Always has been, most likely always will be. Unlike some people I can separate the art from the artist. I’ve said a zillion times, I can’t stand Elton John but I love his music. I had a falling out with DC and I’ve written some pretty harsh things about them over the years. I’ve also reached out to them to try and resolve the issue and was ignored soooooo, I wrote some more harsh things about them.

I was certain I would never ever work with DC comics again. I was certain the climate and culture that contributed (blameless, I am not) to my problems there would never change.

I was wrong.

DC comics reached out to me to contribute to the Static Shock / Dwayne McDuffie special. Today I’m holding in my pretty little brown hands a copy of that book and low and behold there’s a piece written by me.

“Brrrrrrrrrrrr, it’s freakin COLD in here! What in the HELL is up with that?”  Satan said as he put on a sweater made from the skin of Satoshi (Goggle!) Kanazawa.

For me at least, the climate at DC Comics has changed. I really feel that DC is a different company now than they were when my difficulties started, and that’s different in a good way.

They did not have to call me. They did.

So, I was wrong.

“Hey, when did pigs start to fly?” Satan said as he wrapped a scarf around his neck made out of more Satoshi (Goggle!) Kanazawa skin.

When I’m at Comic con this year I’m going to say, I was wrong too a few DC people in person.

“What the Hell? Why are monkeys flying out of my ass?” Satan said as he dined on the flesh of Satoshi (Goggle!) Kanazawa.

I’ve said a zillion times that my dream project is set in the DC Universe. I now have hope that may happen. Ok it’s more like a wish but I’ll take either one.

Regardless of what does or does not happens with the project, I want to thank Harvey Richards at DC for calling me. I’d also like to thank Dan DiDio and Diane Nelson for a variety of different things of which I’ll give them the details in person.

There’s something else I never thought would happen, I’m glad I was wrong.

“Hey when did the cows come home?” Satan said as he put on a pair of long johns made from (you guessed it) the skin of Satoshi (Goggle!) Kanazawa.