I Taught Myself How to Grow Old, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise
August 27, 2011 Martha Thomases 1 Comment
Lately, when my friends and I get together, our conversation turns to the most important issue of the day: “How did we get to be so old?”
Oh, we know the answer is, “Because we didn’t die.” But that’s not what we mean.
We are not acolytes of early Pete Townsend.
Instead, we mean it literally. How did we get to be this old? We don’t feel old.
Well, not exactly. We’ve got assorted aches and pains. Our memories aren’t what they used to be. Even with careful diet and exercise, our bodies no loner conform to the current flights of fashion. Menopause is a bitch.
No, we mean we still feel like kids. We’re still waiting to decide what we want to be when we grow up. We’re still giggling when a cute guy walks past us.
Is this something every generation experiences, or is it another example of Baby Boomers thinking we’re different and special and exalted? My parents never shared these feelings with me, but did they share them with their peers?
Or maybe the idea of what old age means has changed. When I watch Andy Hardy movies on TCM (which I highly recommend, if only for Mickey Rooney’s awesome wardrobe), I don’t think that I’m as old as his mother. The actress playing the part, Fay Holden, was in her 40s. I’m a decade older than that. Why don’t I feel as if I’m as responsible a person as she is? And, more to the point, why do I feel like she’s never going to have sex with her husband again, when, well, ….
I think the Hardy’s were supposed to be a model family. I think we, the audience, were supposed to aspire to a life like they had, with the lovely home, the wise parents, the respectful children. However, there was no physical affection. Everyone had his or her desires under control at all times. Ambition might push Andy to some crazy schemes, but not passion.
No wonder I don’t feel that old.
This is a long, self-obsessed way to wish my husband the best birthday ever on Tuesday. He’s going to be 60, but you’d never know it. For one thing, on his list of places to go for his birthday, Walt Disney World came out on top. So we’ll be celebrating by riding all the rides.
Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, is in fact younger than springtime.
Martha Thomses
August 27, 2011 - 10:41 am
Alas, the hurricane wrecked our plans. I hope that is the worst thing that happens. We will have to find different kinds of rides.
Tom Brucker
August 27, 2011 - 12:25 pm
You could go to the top of a tall building and experience the sway. If you had tall boots you could both go wading.
Howard Cruse
August 27, 2011 - 12:49 pm
Hey! Kite-flying time? (Do they make waterproof kites?)
Whitney
August 27, 2011 - 12:57 pm
Come Tuesday, I expect that you and your husband will be able to celebrate another unexpected adventure.
Prayers are lifted up to the heavens on your behalf, Mama Martha. Let us know how you weather the storm!
Jenny
August 27, 2011 - 3:48 pm
You might want to postpone the hot air balloon ride.
What are your plans? Stay safe, and won’t you have stories.
Jenny
Elizabeth
August 27, 2011 - 5:10 pm
Martha,
Stay safe in the storm and wish J. a “Happy Birthday” for me.
Elizabeth
pennie
August 27, 2011 - 5:32 pm
So sorry a blast of hot air and water had to spoil your plans hon. Happy Birthday John. You can always find a fun and inventive celebration.
And thank you Martha for helping me celebrate John’s birthday with that amazingly soft and lovely merino Janis Joplin wild women of history rainbow colored scarf. I am the envy of most of the the girls of Michigan (who retain teeth) and all points south.
Ed
August 27, 2011 - 5:40 pm
Tell John to have a fun birthday. That shouldn’t be too hard in NYC.
Not only were Andy Hardy’s clothes exceptional, but he … shall I say … he wore them well. I thought he was hot.
As for whether the Hardys were “supposed to be” the model family, you’d have to ask yourself, Supposed by whom? The people who actually wrote and filmed those movies surely knew families weren’t like that. I’d guess most adults who went to see those movies when they were new probably knew real life wasn’t like that. Individual kids growing up, I suppose, could have been affect negatively by feeling their family didn’t live up to “expectations” (as some of us did growing up with Mrs. Cleaver) — until they grew old enough to make fun of it (as we do).
Martha Thomses
August 27, 2011 - 7:05 pm
@Pennie: ehhhh! Everybody will want one!
mike weber
August 27, 2011 - 10:42 pm
I read Stone Soup, and i realise that i am older than Evvie – who is Val and Joan’s mother, Holly and Alix’s grandmother…
My mother has great-grandchildren. Granted, i am not Helen’s father, but i am definitely Maggie and Vellie’s Grandmike… (I’m certainly old enough to be twenty-seven-year-old Helen’s father.)
I still remember when i turned forty – got a card from my mother on which she had written: “I don’t mind being a senior citizen – but i refuse to accept that I could have middle-aged children!”
I’m two years younger right now than she was when she wrote that…
Have you ever heard Waylon sing Shel Silverstein’s “Time”? It ends “But they’re tearin’ down buildings that I watched them build – Time … just time.”
R. Maheras
August 28, 2011 - 1:03 am
I walked past a vintage store near UCLA a couple of days ago, and the window display had 1980s stuff in it. The realization struck me like a cattle prod: Vintage stores used to have stuff in it from the 1960s or earlier. But the 19-frickin’-80s?
But after thinking about it for a few seconds, I realized that Rapper’s Delight came out in 1979, so if you were 18 year old when hip hop started, you’d be hitting the Big 5-0 this year.
I’m o-l-d, old!
mike weber
August 28, 2011 - 10:27 pm
I be go to hell.
I remembered wrong – it’s Bobby Bare, not Waylon.
mike weber
August 28, 2011 - 10:32 pm
Of course, here’s Waylon‘s “I’m old ohmighod!” song from the same album – also by Shel (all the songs on it are).
mike weber
August 28, 2011 - 10:39 pm
And one more Silverstein song by the Old Dogs that points out that, as Pogo once observed, “No one gets out alive nohow” … so you might as well enjoy it while you got it.