America’s Enemy, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #254

December 19, 2011 Mike Gold 8 Comments

The United States has always been an isolationist nation – except when we’re attacked. That happened in 1812, 1898, 1941 and 2001, although 1898 was total horse hockey.

Absent of a tradition of neighboring enemies, we like to invent our own. For decades we relished in the certainly of the coming Communist invasion. We mis-defined this threat as Russian, so when the Soviet empire fell we lost our playmates. Of course in 2011 about 40% of the world’s population is located in Communist nations, but they aren’t Russian so there’s no problem… despite the fact that one such Communist nation has nuclear capability and is likely to be able to hit our western shore long before Iran can – if they don’t run out of money first.

There was a real threat from Somali pirates as they hijacked some American ships and killed a few people, but our trigger-happy president had our navy kill those bastards, much to the chagrin of the Republican Party. Most Americans know as much about East African geography as they know about American geography.

So Somali pirates don’t cut the muster and the Soviet Empire has been turned over to Rosa Krebs’ son. A good enemy is hard to come by, not because we don’t have enemies but because somebody changed the rules. We don’t have evil nations seeking to invade our shores; we are truly threatened by guerrilla concepts. In response we declare a war on terror (not to be confused with the war on poverty, the war on drugs, or the war on Christmas, except for their common impotence) because we have no poster child for the enemy… particularly after that same trigger-happy president had Osama Bin Ladin offed.

Since we can’t tell Moslems apart, we charge the entire world of Islam as our enemy. Besides, gasoline is too expensive and we don’t know our Hindus from our Moslems but, damn, they’re brown, they talk funny and they won’t wear ponchos. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts most Americans couldn’t differentiate between Middle East Muslims and Sephardic Jews. We stay up nights worrying about the imposition of Sharia law, but we’ve never even heard of Halakha Law, which is part of what zealots talk about when they refer condescendingly to our “Judeo-Christian beliefs.”

It’s easy to see why Lowes committed their hideous act. Their excuse that they were avoiding controversy is, quite obviously, either an outright lie or an act of astonishing stupidity. The boycott against The Learning Channel’s happy little Moslem family show was called for by a fundamentalist nut group that has all the velocity of a turtle eating peanut butter. Lowes is pandering to our most basic of American beliefs: screw the invisible enemy, in this case, each and every one of our Americans who believe in some form of Islam.

And that’s why I support the Lowes boycott.

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Patriot and soapbox owner Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, replayed three times during the week (check the website above for times) and available On Demand at the same place.