The Invasion of the Communist Sperm!, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #293 | @MDWorld

September 24, 2012 Mike Gold 0 Comments

It’s just getting stranger and stranger. Not funny-strange. Dangerous-strange. Idi Amin strange. The latest from the demented zealots who steer the Ship of Elephant is… Red Spermatozoagate!

There’s a documentary making the rounds of the hysterical right called Dreams From My Real Father. The movie states the President’s grandfather was an undercover CIA advent who conned Barack’s daddy into marrying his teenage daughter because said daughter had been knocked up by a 55-year old commie by the name of Frank M. Davis. Our President is the product of Communist sperm. Red spermatozoa.

And the Republican Party – if it exists at all – has yet to refute this. Not even with a comedic brush-off. The Republican Party – if it exists at all – is too scared of the Birthers, the Psycho-Birchers, and the Tea Partiers. But they call the man who killed Osama Bin Laden weak.

You might say a sane person wouldn’t believe this Communist sperm crap for a moment. To this I respond: George W. Bush Jr. received almost 50% of the vote – twice – and a mediocre B-movie actor turned detergent salesman was elected president and subsequently lionized by the same people who are peddling this hooey. Reality hasn’t been the Republican’s strong suit for over three decades.

Alabama Republican Party Chair Bill Armistead told the Mobile Press-Register Dreams From My Real Father “is absolutely frightening. I’ve seen it. I verified that it is factual, all of it.” A great many right wing Republican Wackyland websites have been saying this is a factual documentary despite the fact that the movie is narrated by an Obama impersonator.  According to Joel Gilbert, the movie’s director, “millions” of copies are now being distributed to swing-state voters. Millions.
Of course, not all Republicans believe this. Many still hold dear the belief that Barack Obama is from Africa and is ineligible to be our President. Therefore, his daddy can’t be an American Commie.

And I’m still trying to figure out how the CIA fits in to this. I gather Barack Obama was the grassy knoll shooter.

They say a person can’t make this stuff up; well, I say can I can, but they won’t pay me enough. This one has all the earmarks of a great late 60s Yippie! stunt. If I thought for a moment these hysterical sub-humanoids were doing a political con game, I’d respect the hell out of them.

Or, maybe, I’m simply hoping it is a stunt from the Left. At least then I’d know that Dick Tuck did not die in vain.

Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com , every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week (check the website above for times) and available On Demand at the same place. He also joins Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.