Mileymania, by Arthur Tebbel – Pop Art #223 | @MDWorld
August 27, 2013 Arthur Tebbel 0 Comments
Sorry for the brief sabbatical loyal readers, this summer has really been the winter of my discontent. Let’s get right back in to the mailbag.
Dear Art,
Last night I performed at the MTV Video Music Awards and my performance has generated a fair amount of controversy. Some have called me a slut for my skimpy clothes and suggestive dance moves. A few people have accused me of misappropriating black culture and objectifying black women. I’m just trying to be Miley y’all, what should I do about all this?
-Miley Cyrus
Miley,
Anyone who calls you a slut for your behavior on an MTV awards show is an asshole, a profoundly culturally unaware asshole. Pop stars have been scandalizing people from the stage of the VMAs since before you were born. Did everyone else just feel super old? It’s a rite of passage. They won’t stop calling you a slut or anything (because the world is a shitty place) but it seems like a required rite of passage for any female pop act. That was supposed to be uplifting but reads pretty sad. Maybe consider a career where people can wear pants.
As far as cultural imperialism goes I think I have to side with the critics on this one. It’s kind of weird that you have all these black women around you and you treat them all like objects. That’s fucked up and you should really stop. This would have been less egregious if this weren’t a music awards ceremony that handed out zero awards to black people. I don’t know when the last time that happened but I’m pretty sure it was also at an MTV awards because they have a particularly sketchy history when it comes to black artists. Those last two things are not your fault at all except for the part where you agreed to do their show. Maybe consider a career where people are less horrible.
Ok, so you probably won’t change your career, you seem to have this music game pretty figured out. How about you instead just stop feeding the ludicrous beast that is the VMAs? I did a lot of research to write this column, by which I mean I spent over an hour clicking through various VMA related pages on Wikipedia, and just cut ties completely. There are nine different awards in VMA history that have only been awarded once including the shamefully transparent attempt to get Justin Timberlake to show up Quadruple Threat of the Year award (Justin falls for this a lot as his Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award from this year shows). They also once gave out an award for Best Artist Website. It went to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. This year they debuted a Best Song of the Summer and gave it to a song that was barely a month old with a month left of summer still to go. Peter Gabriel holds the record for most awards in a single year and I’m not really outraged by that I think it’s just the best VMA trivia question ever because no one will ever guess that.