Capitalism the Beautiful, by Arthur Tebbel – Pop Art #234 | @MDWorld

February 4, 2014 Arthur Tebbel 2 Comments

Dear Art,

I’m sure you saw the Super Bowl this weekend and so you doubtlessly saw our commercial with “America the Beautiful” sung in many languages while a montage of Americans of many different ethnic backgrounds and we even threw in a gay couple in there (no interracial couples though, save that for Cheerios).  We’ve caught a little bit of flack for that ad for having a patriotic song sung in other languages and some people on the Internet are even threatening a boycott.  While an effective boycott of Coca-Cola is basically impossible when you consider we sell $48 billion in beverages every year should we be worried about some lasting damage to our brand over this?

-Muhtar Kent, Chairman & CEO, The Coca-Cola Company

Muhtar,

I think in less than six months 99% of the people threatening to boycott will be back drinking your products and will at least claim to not remember the offending ad.  I know this because it’s not like there are Coke drinkers out there who have never tasted Pepsi.  That preference/force of habit is stronger than any manufactured outrage over some ad that probably won’t run very often.  If you have some giant buy for this ad during the Olympics this month it might be worth getting concerned but I somehow doubt that’s what you had in mind.

While we’re on the subject of the Olympics I’d like to present my conspiracy theory surrounding this ad.  Coca-Cola is always a big sponsor of the Olympic games and you have some potentially disastrous publicity coming your way if any of the anti-gay stuff in Russia comes to a head (like the teen girl who was hospitalized by her father after she came out as a lesbian and then when the police investigated she was found guilty and put on a registry) you could probably use a bank of good will with American leftists.  They won’t remember you as just the soft drink that supports financially a government that condones beating up young queer people but you also but a gay couple in an ad once.  Even Steven.

Sadly, I think you’re overestimating the American people.  There will be basically no reporting on any crap going on in Russia during the games because the same company that really needs those high ratings on figure skating owns the furthest left media outlet.  Russia can probably keep a lid on being awful for two weeks and barring a 1968-like display on a medal stand I think everyone in mainstream America will be blissfully unaware of the horrible shit that while you might not directly condone it certainly aren’t doing anything to prevent.  I’d say you’re in the clear all the way around, go fuck yourself, but in the clear.