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The Land of Rape and Honey, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

June 14, 2014 Martha Thomases 21 Comments

courting-pic

Hey, you know that “liberal” media you hear so much about?  The one epitomized by The Washington Post?  Well, that particular media myth had a terrible week.

Columnist George Will wrote an execrable column about the increasing awareness of sexual assaults on college campuses.  He doesn’t like this trend (in no small part because the Obama administration is trying to do something about it), and so he questions how serious the problem actually is.

For example, he says here, “Threatening to withdraw federal funding, the department mandates adoption of a minimal “preponderance of the evidence” standard when adjudicating sexual assault charges between males and the female “survivors” — note the language of prejudgment. Combine this with capacious definitions of sexual assault that can include not only forcible sexual penetration but also nonconsensual touching. Then add the doctrine that the consent of a female who has been drinking might not protect a male from being found guilty of rape. Then comes costly litigation against institutions that have denied due process to males they accuse of what society considers serious felonies.”

You see, rape isn’t really a problem because so much isn’t rape.  Will uses the term “nonconsensual touching” as well as an example of a woman who didn’t report her assault (by a man she knew and used to date) for six weeks to show what a trivial problem this is.

And who suffers when this happens?  The men, who Will says are being denied due process.  They’re the real victims.

You know why they’re being denied true process?  Because the universities, eager to cover their own asses, treat rape and sexual assault as campus problems, not legal problems. What is is about organized groups of powerful men (e.g.  Catholic Church, Penn State) that makes them more concerned about their reputations than the rule of law?

I’m not going to toe a stereotypically feminist line here and say all men on campus accused of rape are guilty.  I can even understand how some men may commit rape without knowing they are doing so.  There is a romantic myth in our country that women want to be wooed, seduced and overpowered by their suitors.  It’s possible that some of these male students, away from home for the first time, misunderstand the signals.  I know how easy it is, when I’m turned on, to think that everyone else is turned on, too.  Throw in a few drinks (or other entertaining substances) and it’s easy to believe one is reading body language correctly, even when one is not.

If you aren’t sure that the object of your desire desires you, there’s a simple trick you can do to stay out of trouble.

It’s easy.  It’s clear.  And if the answer is, “yes,” that’s really hot.  If the answer is, “no,” you stay out of jail.  It’s win-win!

Note:  A person passed out from drinking cannot consent.  Snores and/or drooling mean “no.”

George Will is a columnist, and one cannot reasonably infer that his opinions are the same as those of the Post.  For that, one needs to look at news stories.  Here’s a doozy.

Did you read that?  It says that the way to end violence against women is for women to get married.  If we can only find a man, he’ll take care of us.  That way, we’ll have someone to protect us from those other loathsome men.

This is ridiculous.  It flies in the face of all of the research on violence against women.  Here are two (out of many) facts from that link:

• Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.

• More than 60% of domestic violence incidents happen at home.

We need to stop thinking that being part of a family is some kind of miracle cure-all.  I mean, I like my family in almost all of its various permutations.  They did right by me, and I try every day to pass that on.  But just because a group of people are in a relationship sanctified by religion and vetted by the state doesn’t mean everyone in that group is a good person.  Nor do money and education keep away the violence.

Women and their allies need to step up and take care of ourselves.  We need to prosecute rapists when they rape, and we need to tell our suiters what we want — and don’t want — clearly, so there is no doubt.  We need to stand up for our sisters and brothers who are assaulted.  We need to teach our children how to be loud and proud so no grown-up takes advantage.

And sometimes, we just need to sign a petition.

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, may be in a better mood when she is finished with this round of dental appointments.

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Comments

  1. Rene
    June 20, 2014 - 8:40 pm

    Russ –

    I think “waiting till you get married” is well-meaning, but a bad idea for most people, given the current spiritual-moral development of humankind. It’s marvelous in theory, but it’s sort of utopian. In real life, most human beings don’t have a good understanding of themselves when they’re young.

    Well, if you combine “wait till you’re married” with easy access to divorce, then okay, it’s not so bad.

    Otherwise, you get (and that is only one of the problems) horny young people getting married just so they can have sex and then facing a lifetime being married to someone they don’t love, or even like.

    It may seem counter-intuitive, but I really am a big believer in marriage for life, you know? I am believer in marriage as a holy union, as a the greatest thing in your life, and all that.

    That is why I think it’s preferable for people to have sex before they marry, to meet lots of people they don’t like, to get their heart broken, to make mistakes, etc. and only get married when they have some life experience and some self-understanding, so they can do it right.

    Marriage should be a holy meeting of souls. It should not be a tool for social control, a business transaction, a security measure for escaping accusations of improper conduct, or anything else.

  2. Mike Gold
    June 20, 2014 - 9:24 pm

    And the only qualification for divorce should be marriage. If you’re not married, you have no business getting divorced.

    And here’s why: It is not the government’s business. A marriage license is really just a marriage tax. Fine; we can bitch about taxes at another time. Marriage and divorce — as well as one’s sex life — is not the government’s business, and it’s not anybody else’s business except the participants directly involved.

    Well, if I know you then it’s my business as well, but when it comes to this sort of thing I might be amused but I’m not judgmental.

  3. R. Maheras
    June 23, 2014 - 7:49 am

    It’s a rare couple who truly knows each other all that well before marriage, so I think the risks you cite are unfounded.

    My wife and I met three times before we married — but because I had orders to a military base overseas, I knew that if we did not get married when we did, I would never see her again. We’ve been married 35 years now, so I think it’s safe to say the risky conditional phase is over.

  4. Rene
    June 23, 2014 - 10:17 am

    The day you agree with me on anything, I’ll have a heart attack, Russ. 🙂

    But I wasn’t talking about knowing the other person for years. I married my wife after a courtship of 10 months, I suppose that is pretty short.

    I was talking about knowing yourself. Young people usually don’t.

    I also come from a working class neighbourhood. I’ve seen too many people whose lives are like slow car crashes. A few people go to college and better their lives. Most marry really young and unwise, and stay poor. And then it’s the usual parade of crappy jobs, alcohol, parental neglect. And another generation of poverty.

    Marriage can be wonderful, but I think people should build their households on solid ground. Go to college, build a life, get some life experience. Then marry.

  5. R. Maheras
    June 23, 2014 - 10:52 am

    Rene — I got married and THEN went college. If I had put up some artificial constraints, say, to wait until this or that box was checked first, I may very well have never hooked up with my soul-mate. If I instead had simply shrugged my shoulders 35 years ago — which, under the circumstances, I could have easily rationalized — I could very well still be looking.

  6. Rene
    June 23, 2014 - 6:55 pm

    Well, truth is, there are no hard rules when it comes to matters of the heart. When it comes to meeting your soul mate, you gotta grab the opportunity.

    But, regarding marriage and college, I find that too many people don’t have the willpower, stamina or whatever it takes to go to college later. They marry, then find that they already have two kids to take care of, and then it’s too difficult to juggle all the responsibilities.

    Some people do manage, though.

  7. R. Maheras
    June 24, 2014 - 8:16 am

    Rene — It took me 11 years going to college at night, but I eventually got my bachelor’s degree. And while my wife and I started taking classes at the same time (literally — we both took the exact same class to start), my wife got it done in 10 years (which she’s never let’s me forget).

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