Outside of a Small Circle of Friends, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

September 24, 2014 Martha Thomases 3 Comments

There’s a new domestic violence scandal in the National Football League.  This is in addition to Ray Rice beating his fiancee (now wife) in an elevator, and Adrian Peterson beating his four year old son with a stick.

According to various reports, this news is alienating large sections of the NFL’s base, including women.

As you may remember from my column last week, I have a problem with the way our laws deal with these issues.  Specifically, that there needs to be a complainant in order for a person to be charged with beating up a spouse or child.

I want to talk about this, not in terms of the Constitution, or even the law, but in terms of the kind of society in which we live.  I’m not saying the law isn’t important, but I want to set it aside for the moment and talk about morality and ethics.

Everything that’s legal isn’t ethical (e.g. raising the rent on poor old people with fixed incomes) and everything that’s ethical isn’t legal (e.g. refusing to register for the draft because of opposition to the military industrial complex).

It seems to me that one of the major differences between conservatives and progressives is the way we define personal responsibility.  Conservatives (generic disclaimer: I’m over-simplifying, and also, not all of them) believe strongly that each of us is accountable and responsible for our own behavior, and therefore our own fate.  If I have unprotected sex and get pregnant, the child is my responsibility and mine only.

Progressives also believe in personal responsibility, but in a way that encompasses the whole community (see generic disclaimer above).  I may meticulously plan my family, but it is my responsibility as someone with an education and disposable income to help out the child of a a drug-addicted single parent.

Even in terms of self-interest, conservatives and progressives have different views.  If there is a violent criminal loose on the streets, conservatives believe in defending themselves with firearms, sometimes in the safety of a guarded high-rise or gated community.  Progressives, as exemplified by a group in Philadelphia this week, band together and actively engage to make the larger community safe.  Again, one approach is individual and the other more broad.

If there is a suspected rapist in my neighborhood, I do not feel safer just because his or her most recent victim doesn’t press charges.  If there is a person who beats his or her partner, I don’t feel safer because the victim doesn’t press charges.  If anything, I feel less safe, because these people are walking around without any kind of record of their offenses.

Sometimes progressives are criticized for “coddling” criminals because we try to find the reasons they commit criminal acts.  Sometimes the “coddling” involves progressive criticism of our prison system.  Speaking for myself, I want to know the reasons for criminal (even terrorist) behavior because they are glitches that might be fixable.  And our prison system does nothing but make people miserable and cost too much money.  We could spend that money on true rehabilitation if we weren’t obsessed with punishment.  It’s another wrinkle on the differences in how we define “personal responsibility.”

When we talk about sexual assault and domestic violence, it’s important to separate the person who commits the act and the people who cover up the act.  While I think Rice, Peterson et al. deserve to face charges, I’m much more disturbed by the corporate entities who excused and sometimes justified their behavior.  Humans are emotional, flawed and make mistakes.  Corporations that profit from these individuals have a moral responsibility to define acceptable behavior.

Instead, they make excuses.

To me, the clearest example of this is Adrian Peterson.  While I do not wish to in any way convey approval or acceptance of hitting a four-year old with a stick (or a belt, or a whip, or a hand or anything), I feel kind of sorry for him.  I’m sure he was hit with a stick (and more) as a child.  I’m sure his parents said they hit him because they loved him.  I’m sure he grew up thinking that hitting his child was a way to show love.  That’s how the cycle works.

It also works when people in positions of authority defend it.  It’s the conservative way to think that it is up to the parents (and only the parents) to discipline their children.

Progressives unite to express their displeasure, and their sense that violence against anyone is violence against all of us.

You may think, “Yeah, sure.  Violence is bad.  I agree.  I don’t do it.  I don’t help anybody else do it.  What does this have to do with me?”

It is my contention that, legalities aside, it is immoral to only look out for yourself.  It is unethical (and inefficient) to deny people the opportunity to unite (or, as conservatives put it, Big Government) against bad behavior.  They believe that market forces will stop bad behavior.

And this is an example of the reasons they are wrong.  A doctor in Michigan got caught doing, well, let’s quote the link:

“At a time when they are most vulnerable and fearful, cancer patients put their lives in the hands of doctors and endure risky treatments at their recommendation,” said Assistant Attorney General Caldwell.  “Dr. Fata today admitted he put greed before the health and safety of his patients, putting them through unnecessary chemotherapy and other treatments just so that he could collect additional millions from Medicare.  The mere thought of what he did is chilling.  Thanks to the quick action of our partners, he was arrested and has now admitted his guilt.”

I doubt any of his victims filed a complaint.  I’m relieved that we didn’t have to wait for that to happen before we got him to stop.

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, is missing Phil Ochs.