All the Single Ladies, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

February 14, 2015 Victor El-Khouri 1 Comment

This column may be a bit rushed, because I’m preparing to host a get-together among a few of my single female friends tonight.  We’ll eat carbs, drink wine (or whatever), watch something trashy (maybe even on Pay-Per-View), play with yarn, and gossip.  Dress code is sweatpants or the equivalent.

Perhaps this will be my new Valentine tradition.

My friends are either never-married, divorced or widowed.  We are what Hollywood (and therefore, America) consider to be of a certain age, although I think that we span 20 years or so.  Basically, we’re over 35.  A lot.

 

Being single is the new normal, but you wouldn’t know it from our mass media.  Single characters on television have roommates.  Vacation packages are priced for double occupancy.

I get it.  Really, I do.  Television characters need someone to talk to so the viewers will know what they think, and cats are notoriously difficult on the set.  Prices for two, divided in half (per person, double occupancy), look like a better bargain.  Suggesting to potential customers that a vacation might include sex is a simple step in a productive marketing plan.

As long as I’ve lived in New York, I’ve known some amazing women who, for whatever reason, were not half of a couple.  Smart, funny, attractive (at least to my eyes), with good jobs and great apartments, these women were exactly the kind of people with whom I wanted to hang.  We helped each other with our lives, cat sitting and job prospects.  We’d meet for drinks and dinners and brunches and movies.  We’d write recommendations for each others’ kids.

We were — are — friends.

I could never understand how they weren’t snatched up by nice guys.

I’ve spent nearly three years on my own now.  I get up when I want, eat what I want when I want, and don’t have to share the remote.  I have all the pillows.  It’s different from the way I lived with my husband.  I miss him every day, but my life isn’t bad. I’m not going to change it just for the sake of having a beau.

Maybe that’s how my friends have felt, and I never understood it until now.  That means it has taken me nearly 40 years to learn this particular lesson.  I don’t have the luxury of time to go through that again.

Cake, ice cream, or both?

Media Goddess Martha Thomases isn’t used to being part of the majority.