Wedding Bell Blues, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise

The news coverage of the marital separation of Al and Tipper Gore is extremely stupid, even by the standards of the news media coverage of Al Gore.  The facet that offends me the most is when commentators say, “Who would imagine that the Gores would split while the Clintons would stay together?”

Are any of these commentators married?

Look, I don’t know the Gores or the Clintons.  Even if I did, I doubt I’d know what’s going on in their respective marriages.  If I’ve learned anything from being alive so long and knowing other humans, it’s that every single relationship between two people is different, none more so than love.

Sexual fidelity is not the only way two people show their love for each other, nor is sexual infidelity in and of itself evidence that they don’t love each other.  Other primates are not monogamous.  Having sex with only one person for decades may work for some people, but not for all.  Similarly, different humans experience a partner’s infidelity with varying amounts of hurt, from none to tons.

Did either of the Gore’s cheat?  I don’t know.  Did they hang out together?  It seemed to me, looking at them from the outside, that they had different interests.  Al was speaking out about the environment and making movies and winning the Nobel prize.  Tipper was castigating rap and rock music.  Their children were grown.  Did they continue to share the same interests?  It’s possible that they care about each other deeply, but have different priorities about how they’d like to spend the rest of their lives.

I don’t know how the Clintons feel about sexual fidelity.  I don’t know how much it hurts Hillary if Bill screws around, and vice versa.  However, I do know (because I have eyes) that they both find each other fascinating.  It doesn’t matter where they are, nor whom they are with, they each find the other the most interesting person to talk to.  At the end of the day, that’s what keeps a marriage together.

This August, I’ll be married thirty years.  I can’t say that every day has been a joy.  I can’t say we don’t have the same arguments over and over.  I can’t even say that every conversation we have in fascinating.  However, I can say that, before I go to sleep, there is no one who’s opinion I care about more than my husband’s.  Even when it’s wrong.

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, thinks that if Californians want their government run like Ebay and/or Hewlett-Packerd, they are out of their minds.  Oh, wait …