Fighting the X in Christmas, by Mike Gold – Brainiac on Banjo #99
December 29, 2008 Mike Gold 12 Comments
This column might disturb you. If so I’m sorry; that’s not my intention. But I know from personal experience that some people will likely be disturbed by what I’m about to say. I don’t understand why, and I guess that’s the point.
Quite some time ago I was doing the midnight Christmas morning shift on what was then WEAW-FM (now WOJO) in Chicago. The program was called Radio Free Chicago, and if I say so myself it was quite popular. As was the case throughout my radio career, I usually did the midnight Christmas morning shift because it freed up others who had family plans. I maintained our usual format of straightforward hard rock and blues, effectively counter programming the other several dozen stations in the market.
A union grievance was filed against me by one of the head engineers, a man who had, up to that point, been a very good friend. He took my show as a personal insult. I never understood why; anybody interested in Christmas music could spin the dial in either direction and get their fill. I already reached mine. I decided to serve the minority, the approximately 25% of Americans who weren’t raised with – and I do NOT mean this sarcastically – the magic of Christmas. Add to that those people who simply had enough of such programming and wanted to hear something different for a while.
Four points need to be made about this incident. First, I received a lot of thank-you calls from my listeners. Second, the grievance was dismissed on lack of grounds. Third, the friendship I lost was never regained. And fourth, my now-former friend was at the time (and may very well still be) a member of the Palestine Liberation Organization. So when I say I don’t get it, well, in this case I really don’t get it. I remain bewildered by the whole thing.
I wasn’t raised Christian. I didn’t have a tree or any of the other Christmas icons. It just wasn’t part of my life. Christmas is a religious holiday, and it wasn’t my religion. I didn’t miss it, and I found the “oh, you poor little boy” bit to be offensive.
In a pluralistic society like ours, not being Christian is supposed to be okay. We’re supposed to respect all religious philosophies and, by definition, that should include those that do not believe in the majority’s uni-god. I once got into a lot of trouble when I took issue with a local head of the Council of Churches and Synagogues because they were exclusionary: despite their good works, their name stated they were not interested in Muslims, Hindus, Taoists, Scientologists, Wiccans, atheists, or anybody else who didn’t go to a church or a synagogue. That, to me, was un-American. It was benign bigotry.
America is not a Christian nation. To say so is to suggest that the founders of this nation, the ones who wrote the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence, were utter morons who didn’t know what they were saying when they approved the text of the First Amendment. The Bill of Rights is to protect the minorities, and America is no more a Christian nation than it is a white nation. If 50.1% of the electorate voted to put all the black people on boats and sail them to Africa, it might reflect the democratic will of the majority but it would be unconstitutional. Unless you’re gay, but hopefully that will be rectified before too long.
This Christmas I made an offhanded comment that I was kind of tired of Christmas music. We-who-are-not tend to get a bit tired of the same dozen songs repeated incessantly over the previous month, although I’m quite the fan of Darlene Love. I did not ask that the music be changed, and I declined the opportunity to change it myself. Nonetheless, I was told I singlehandedly destroyed Christmas. In short order, the Christmas present exchange was canceled, the tree was dismantled, and I lost a friend who was far, far more dear to me than my PLO buddy.
All this has a devastating affect on me. It didn’t ruin my Christmas, but it likely ruined my life. I’m not the type to volunteer to go to the back of the bus, but I was happy to sit behind the line in order to get along with something that seemed important to a person I deeply love and respect.
“Christmas spirit” is full of contradictions and is woefully commercialized… but I am not against it in the least. I appreciate and honor the intent that is at the core of the event: it is a good and noble intent.
All I really want is a bit of understanding, and a wider range of music.
Martha Thomases
December 29, 2008 - 6:19 am
Continuous holiday music is at least as boring as continuous Top 40 music.
Vinnie Bartilucci
December 29, 2008 - 8:44 am
When I was a lad (back in the Hoover Administration) the phrase “Happy Holidays” existed, was used interchangeably with “Merry Christmas” and NOBODY CARED. It’s the subtle dilineation between doing something on your accord, and being TOLD to do it. You could have been wearing black shoes to work for ten years; the moment the company institutes a dress code where they’re required, you just instictively reach for the sneakers.
Christmas is one of a growing number of Precious Things That Must Not Be Touched Because THEY (deliberately left undefined to allow the listener to insert their favorite Evil Group of choice) Are Trying To Ruin Our lives. In the last few years, it’s become a concept representing all that is wrong with Political Correctness, the evils of multi-culturalism and the nightmare that is inclusionism. It is also an easy target, because you’re not going to be called “Anti-” any group in particular if you come out in support of Christmas.
In the eyes of many, the people who complain about Christmas and its public celebration are not really talking about Christmas. They are usually the chronic complainers who just want to keep their (and their organization’s) name in the paper. I’m not talking about the folks who say they’re sick of the songs, or (like you) choose to counter program, I’m talking about the ones who sue to keep the nativity scenes off of public parks and the like. The ones who stupidly draw more attention to the thing they’re trying to get rid of than ever would have if they’d just been smart and kept their mouths shut.
Living in Riverdale, they erected a GIANT (Like 25-30 feet high easy) menorah at the war memorial/traffic circle every year. And I never heard about a single group trying to have it taken down. This is mainly because on the whole, people are sane. But I’d really love to see one of the PC “No Religion” groups come out against that menorah. I love fireworks.
For a bunch of people, (okay, 75%) Christmas is the holiday celebrated at the end of the year, and use of the phrase in question is correct. For the folks who don’t, a good number recognize Christmas as the generic representation of the season and even go so far as celebrating it in the sense of “Peace on earth good will towards men” (I imagine that will have to be changed next) and just ignoring the specific religious content.
Of the people who don’t, when asked to have a Merry Christmas, the reaction breakdown goes like this:
-The majority will nod, mumble a “you too” or otherwise ignore the error, since it was not said in malice.
-A smaller number may say something to the effect of “Well I don’t celebrate Christmas, but thank you anyway.” The main reason people don’t say that is usually, all of a sudden your Difference becomes the topic of conversation. Like when it comes up in conversation that I’m partially color-blind (Just a mild red-green deficiency), all of a sudden I have to suffer through five or ten minutes of “What color does this look like to you?”
-The smallest number, the professionally offended, will come off with a volley of vituperatives accusing you of forcing your religion onto them. These are the ones that, alas, come to represent the entire non-Christmas people, mainly because they’re the ones who get on television.
“Merry Christmas” does not have a silent “And fuck you if you don’t” following it. Likewise, “Happy Holidays” does not end with “and don’t you dare celebrate Christmas because that in some way diminishes me”. When stores consult with lawyers over the level of legal exposure they risk by using “Christmas” in their holiday decorations, you know whe as a society have too much time on our hands.
Now if you want to start talking about calling them “Holiday Trees” that’s another topic altogether.
Marc Fishman
December 29, 2008 - 12:28 pm
How unsettling. I wrote a big long response to your post, and MDW crapped out on me. *Shakes fist in the air*
Suffice to say I share many of the same sentiments as you wrote above Mike. And Vinnie made some great points as well. I’m not all that religious, and while I’m not “offended” by those who want to spread a happy holiday message to me… I do perplex people when I comment on my lack of desire to watch various holiday specials, etc. (My fiance loves that Rankin Bass Rudolph special, while I loathe it for many many reason, the first being it’s nonsensical plot)
For those who may “pity” the uninitiated goyem who celebrate Christmas, well, fret not… cause we don’t ask for the pity. I once shared a room on a trip with a good friend who would later become a priest (Lutherans call them priests, right?) who looked me dead in the eyes one evening, and tearfully asked me what life was like not knowing of my savior. I looked right back at him astounded, and weakly replied “The jews may not have been “saved” yet, but I’d like to think what makes us “chosen” is our continued faith that one day we might actually need saving.”
Suffice to say the same sentiment applies to Christmas to me. I may not celebrate it, but I’ll be damned if I don’t enjoy the day off anyways. 🙂
Great thoughts as always Mike.
and P.S. I doubly agree with your programming choice on air. My cousin, a DJ of 15 years, also wishes the industry would bring back the days of DJ infused programming as opposed to automated corporate crap that brainlessly drums away on commercial airwaves.
Martha Thomases
December 29, 2008 - 3:45 pm
Marc said: “I’d like to think what makes us “chosen” is our continued faith that one day we might actually need saving.”
As I understand it, the Jews became the Chosen People because God chose us to demonstrate his laws to the rest of the world. We are supposed to provide the example of how life is to be lived.
Just something else to feel guilty about ….
Vinnie Bartilucci
December 29, 2008 - 9:01 pm
We are Your chosen people. But, once in a while, can’t You choose someone else?
—Tevye, Fiddler on the Roof
Miles Vorkosigan
December 29, 2008 - 10:30 pm
Multiple responses here…
Good one, Vin.
Ditto, my Goddess.
Clara and I left our tree up all year. Decorated. Why? It’s eighteen inches tall, sitting on top of a bookshelf, and it’s as easy to leave it up as to take it down, strip off all the lights and other fei-oo, and ram it into a box for eleven months.
We’re about as nondenominational as it gets. We pray a lot, but it’s mostly variations on the Shepard’s Prayer: Dear God, please don’t let me fuck this up. Or, more often, Dear God, let me make it until the next payday, or let me land the job this time, or send somebody by here to buy some of this stuff so we can eat tonight.
As to Christmas music, I have a bunch of stuff on the hard drive in mp3, and four Christmas CDs. Very little got played this year; some Tull, some Nat Cole, some Dean Martin. The Pogues’ “Lullaby Of New York”. And it was interspersed with Triumvirat, Gordon Lightfoot, ELP, Moody Blues, Mike Nesmith, Vangelis Pappathanasiou, Yes, Atomic Rooster, Be Bop Deluxe and whatever else I took a notion to play. (Yes, Mike, I used to be a disk jockey, too. WEVL, Memphis.)
Christmas is in the heart. So is God, whether the fundies are willing to accept it or not. Faith is not in external symbols or a heavily-edited book. As Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman once said, true ineffable grace and soul-shriveling evil come from the human heart, and nowhere else.
Marc, I haven’t set foot in a control booth since 1980. When WEVL shut down, I quit radio. When they restarted but all programming had to be approved by the big bosses first, I turned away and never looked back. And I loved playing radio; I took a halfhearted swipe at getting back into it in ’02, when I bugged hell out of a friend at WHBQ. But it wasn’t the same. There was a booth and a mike, but no turntables, no tape machines, no cd decks. All on the computers, controlled by the engineer. Oh, I’d have taken the job if it had been offered; I need the money. But on the way out the door, I ran into Jerry Lawler, who was doing a talk show when he wasn’t at a match somewhere. I’ve known Jerry for years, and we spoke a minute about why I was out there. He wished me luck, but his expression said, “I hope you don’t get hired, because you really don’t want to work here.”
I feel the same way you do about the Christmas specials, Marc. I’m even somewhat tired of Chuck Jones’ Grinch. And what I’d like to see and can’t find is “A Wish For Wings That Work”, the Bloom County Christmas show. Every year we get Peanuts and those horrid Rankin-Bass things, and very rarely we get something like ‘Hogfather”, but for the most part it’s the Same Old Shit, and I have long since gotten tired of it. I didn’t even watch Ralphie this year; that should tell you the mood I’ve been in for the last little while. Like eight years.
Gotta go. 0600 comes around way too early. And I’ve been ranting too long. This has been a horrible year; no job, very little money, and everytime I turn around somebody’s dying. This week it’s Delaney Bramlett and Freddie Hubbard.
Miles
Neil C.
December 30, 2008 - 12:47 am
Mike,
Good column. As one of the Chosen, I agree with you. In New York, WCBS-FM played holiday music from Thanksgiving till Christmas, so it was unlistenable to me. I think the only Christmas songs I enjoy are the Kinks’ Father Christmas and the Waitresses’ Christmas Rapping.
Martha Thomases
December 30, 2008 - 7:49 am
VIn,
Before it was a political issue, I would always answer “Merry Christmas” with “Happy Hanukkah.” To me, this was as automatic as “Thank you” and “You’re welcome.” Someone shared his holiday with me, and I shared mine back.
Now, I think “Comfort and joy” is a fine, seasonal greeting. Especially in a recession.
Matt C.
December 31, 2008 - 8:19 am
**Sorry if this is a repeat, my browser kept locking up on ‘Submit’ ***
Mike, as a recovering Catholic, I often scream that I’m sick of the Christmas programming. This season my radio stayed on Alternative Rock and the TV stayed on SciFi (that channel is going down hill)or Food Network.
It is an emotional time for some. I remember a few explosions from loved ones, but it was usually due to an unreasonable desire to have the perfect holiday (ie the Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving). It was that or your friend was using your comment to terminate the relationiship instead of addressing the underlying reason. Either way, I’m sorry. It sucks no matter what the spark was.
As for the the greeting issue, I happy just having people acknowledge each other. Most of the year it’s eyes down, don’t get involved. So I give a “Merry Christmas” most of the time, or “Happy Hanukkah” if know the person is Jewish. I don’t take offense if I get a “Happy Hanukkah” back since I consider myself a modified Jew.
Happy New Year to All
Reg Gabriel
December 31, 2008 - 12:03 pm
Mike…sorry for coming late to your party, but I concur with the sentiments of the others…Sorrow for the loss of long friendships over the very thing/Person that should build bridges and reaffirm relationships via love.
To walk this adopted life as a believer is often quite challenging, and requires a commitment to balancing the two states of faith in Christ…being hot (zealous (not a bad word, btw) and passionate – familiar conditions to anyone who is or has been in love…and being cold -refreshing and invigorating) positive change agents for society. But because we’re human, we sometimes wear our hearts on our sleeves and feel / react to the sting of rejection….real or perceived.
It’s like if you were a doting father/grandfather and you wanted your co-workers to hear recordings of your heart’s joy cooings or first words because you live in the preciousness of that moment, and your coworkers said, Yo, Mike…it was cute the first time, but c’mon man…nobody wants to hear stuff that again. Please! Or worse, even the first time you wanted to share, somebody said…I don’t wanna hear that mess…I don’t even like kids!…..
Now your rational mind might accept and even understand the responses, but your father’s/grandfather’s emotional core is going to feel wounded and rejected…when all you wanted to do was share that which was important to you with good intentions.
So yeah…sometimes we allow our emotions to damage our witness and cause us to miss the very thing we should be striving for…Peace on earth, goodwill to all men (and wimmen)
Secondly… funny that folks always miss the truth that sometimes even too much of a good thing can cause opposite reactions.
Thirdly…I would love to debate you about some of your assertions in your post…which I feel contained some pretty strong logical fallacies… but perhaps another time… :-))
Fourth….still find myself scratching my head at the P I O reference. Huh??? just how did that come to be?? 😛
Martha…Please continue returning the Merry Christmas greetings with Happy Hanukkah! It just may at some point cause the light to be switched on for some of my relatives. 😛 🙂
Shalom and Happy New Year to one and all….. even you heathens!!
🙂
Rick
January 1, 2009 - 3:26 pm
Mike,
I do have to say one thing.
Fully understanding that it’s my holiday and not everyone’s.
I discovered this year when one of the local Philly oldies stations WOGL started their Christmas programming that they played less of the often-heard popular music that everyone has heard to death, they played some great stuff from the Patters and other great 50’s and 60’s artists.
It also wasn’t soley Christmas music.
Also the country station, yes, the country station, was hip on Ben Stiller’s Hanuukkah song and played it often.
The times they are a-changing.
I hope your holiday season at least worked for you.
Rick
Steven Atkins
January 1, 2009 - 11:46 pm
I hope everyone had a great holiday.
However, Charlie Brown and I seem to have the same reaction to Christmas: it’s all become too commercial.
I’ll add the following:
1) The holiday is also too often the target of political/personal agenda use.
2) Since the last Peanuts special was little more than a bunch of individual sketches ducktaped together, Charlie seems to have left my side on this.
3) The local radio stations started playing Christmas music in my area THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN!