Parenting? What’s That? by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #191

October 11, 2010 Mike Gold 15 Comments

I’d like to say it’s finally official, but let’s be honest: it’s been official for a long, long time. The last shred of decision-making is being taken away from parents – at least, those to live in or visit San Francisco. If a new city ordinance passes, and it managed to escape from committee, kids can no longer get toys in their Happy Meals unless they order “healthier” versions, ones with veggies or fruit instead of freedom fries. That will be a matter of law; parents won’t have a choice.

It will be a great victory for the Food Nazis, who are much, much smarter than parents. They are certain that any parent so stupid as to bring their kids to McDonalds must be feeding them a lousy diet at home, and so the duty of making these decisions must be removed from their hands.

San Francisco Beistand Leiter Eric Mar told the Associated Press he proposed the law to protect the health of his constituents. Political communications consultant Alex Clemens said “San Francisco has a reputation … of being a very progressive city. With that comes naturally, hand in hand, a reliance on government to encourage thoughtful change – that’s just tradition.”

That’s true. Look at the footage from North Korea. Goose-stepping has really caught on. That’s thoughtful change in action. I guess Glenn Beck got it right: progressivism really is fascism after all.

(Yeah, I know. It’s now considered politically incorrect to use Nazi analogies. I say, if the boot fits, wear it.)

The Health Police have been having a field day in the city by the bay. They’ve got a law banning tobacco sales in food and big-box stores that have pharmacies. I gather the combination of prescription medicine and tobacco is even more lethal than one or the other. Retro-eugenics is becoming a matter of law: be healthy or die!

Wait. It gets better.

Our friends at the Center for Science and the Public Interest are suing McDonalds to get them to remove the Happy Meal toys. Stephen Gardner, their litigation director, said the suit will be filed next week. CSPI said they’re doing it because childhood obesity rates have more than tripled over the past three decades.

Yep, that’s all the fault of the Happy Meal.

I’m a big believer in multiple causation, and to put the blame on the Happy Meal freedom fries is a new benchmark in political obfuscation. By focusing on this ridiculous standard, a lot of evil in the food industry is being swept under the rug. There are thousands of companies that pour potentially nasty chemicals into our food. Not all of them are squeaky-clean. Some run farms that are so filthy I’m waiting for Sean Penn to show up.

I can’t help but wonder how much of their money, through their personnel, goes to fund organizations like CSPI.

Better we should just serve our kids nice wholesome unadulterated eggs.

Oh. Wait…

Fellow-traveler, anarcho-syndicalist and www.ComicMix.com editor-in-Chief Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking bizarro music and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, replayed three times during the week (check the website above for times). Likewise, his Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind political and cultural rants pop up each and every day at the same venue.