New Year’s Revelations, By Whitney Farmer – Un Pop Culture

December 29, 2010 Whitney Farmer 17 Comments

Whitney runs a rock music venue on the beach in L.A.  She has an M.B.A., and looks for opportunities to wear sequins.

I came into the house through the laundry room, just in time to hear my brother-in-law comment, “Well, Whitney’s dropping eggs.”

Because I had just returned from Trader Joe’s with a fresh supply of chocolate and merlot for that night,  and ingredients for a breakfast feast in the morning, it took a moment to realize that the topic of conversation had nothing to do with menu choices or my clumsiness.

The discussion was about fertility.

My beautiful family has yet to disappoint or bore me during this holiday season. The Subversive Comedienne who runs a  deaf education program in the public schools was detained by TSA when her Famed Christmas sweater had so much bling that it set off metal detectors and required her to get an education at the hands of the security. She told us that she felt that she should give them a dollar when they were done, and our little sister asked with a knowing voice if she got the screener she wanted.  One sister arrived with strep throat and helped sustain our family tradition of emergency medical events with impossible timing. Wanting to be together in any capacity and under any circumstances including contagious disease, our celebration has transformed into all of us piled together on couches with furry throws and animal print pillows, clutching Irish whiskey and fistfuls of turkey or ham as we watched the Less-Than-Holy-Three S’s: SNL, South Park and Star Trek. We ate chocolate and pondered at what point does fat accumulation begin to become intramuscular marbling. Fearless and intense, locked together in love and joy, our time has been crammed with laughter. Boundaries have been neither maintained nor respected, so much good work has been done. Each member takes a turn coming under the scrutiny of the benevolent tribunal.

While I was gone that night on my brief errand, the topic of future choices apparently had been brought to the floor. For a dancer of the caliber of our little sister, the idea of whether to have children or not carries additional weight because she makes her living with her body. For myself, I have been childless because of circumstances, and the choices I have made in the midst of those. But – as the Tribunal noted – I’ve still got what it takes.

In every aspect of life, it’s good to be fertile. It’s ultimately useless to have rain, good soil, and sunshine if there is nothing new to sow, tend, or harvest. And as heartbreaking as locusts are when they arrive at the scene of our potential to devour our hopes, locusts only show up where there is something to eat.  They stay away from the barren, and their mechanical and monstrous jaws can only consume what our past has built. The roots and our future remain intact and can pump out new growth and a new harvest, perhaps even with leaves that aren’t as tattered as the previous batch that had been care-worn by the elements. And eventually, every type of locust – the powerful and the crawling, the flying and the gnawing – move on when they think that there is nothing left to take.  But their beady little eyes can’t see our roots.

Have a Happy New Year. And in 2011, may you drop eggs. Amen.

Quote of the Blog from Ed, Dude of Light and Fog: “If you want to lose weight, I really recommend a tooth abscess.”